[I Have] Retarded Ejaculation. And Erection Problem/s :(

Discussion in 'Sex With a Large Penis' started by Paul Vincent, Jan 12, 2006.

  1. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Hey guys. So I can have sex all day long, and deep into the night. But only if I'm on top. Any other position, her on top, doggy (which is awkward cos I just cant aim it right lol) or 69, I go soft. Sometimes really soft and its embarrassing.

    The other problem which I read is called Retarded Ejaculation, (I've heard it also called ejaculatory overcontrol, which is more appropriate) is that I can't cum when my gf jacks me off/sucks me/does both at the same time. A few times she's made me cum with her hand but I've been pleasuring her at the same time and getting off when she does...

    So does anyone have any tips for sorting about these problems? Today I had to masturbate myself to the edge then let my girlfriend finish it off. It was cool cos it shot everywhere, we had a laugh about it (there was just a huge mess everywhere!) and my gf was impressed. I can't and don't want to do that all the time.

    Help please :) I couldnt find much info on the 'net.
     
  2. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east &#039;neath the willow tree? Sex
    the term "retarded ejaculation" is horrifically funny
     
  3. RideRocket

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    I know exactly what you mean as I've experienced this too, but am unsure of why. My best guess is that somehow I am not getting enough penile stimulation or that somehow the position I am in is uncomfortable which causes me to lose focus (maybe I just answered the question...).
     
  4. 10.5andproudofit

    10.5andproudofit New Member

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    i'd go to a urologist. no sense in leaving a potential condition untreated
     
  5. madame_zora

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    My impression is that it's emotional, but you are certainly not alone. FWIW, I've noticed it to be fairly common amoung the larger endowed guys I've been with, maybe even half, but I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not.

    Also, you haven't been having sex for very long and maybe you just need to find that comfort zone of what feels good to you and keeps you stimulated. It could very well be that you became accustomed to the feeling of your own grip during masturbation and adjusting to the feel of someone else on your dick may just take time.

    Going to a urologist is never a bad idea, but as long as you are not having any negative symptoms like painful ejacualtion or headaches, I'd tend to think that this is not a health issue. Then again, I'm no doctor. "Retarded ejaculation" is a hilarious term, but look at the bright side- at least you can go as long as you want.
     
  6. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    Yeah I think it is psychological too.
    A few factors are:

    1. I dont want to hurt her
    2. I would like her to be more vocal, maybe talk dirty lol.

    Meh I'll keep trying and see how it goes. Some pointers or advice would be nice though :D

    Another thing is, if I pull my foreskin back I can't get an erection. I read on a site about stretching the foreskin that I should be able to and that if I could it would solve my slightly tight foreskin problem. Also, when the condom pulls my foreskin back I lose my erection from that too.
     
  7. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    Sounds like sex is painful for you sometimes:yikes: and you maybe hesatant about that. Try to relax a bit... it sounds like your having fun though. I get the inpression that sex is for your enjoyment only I could be wrong. Try have a session about her purely focusing on all her pleasures and hot spots. Take it slow have fun tease her alot make her squirm n beg she'll be voical befor you know it. Now about that retarted ej problem....perhaps more college would help:joke: didn't you say you had something wrong in a post long ago? maybe a trip to the urolgist wouldn't hurt...keep us informed:eek:k: im:eek:uttahere: :bye: :nana:
     
  8. Paul Vincent

    Paul Vincent <img border="0" src="/images/badges/member.gif" wi

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    I make sure she gets off all the time. She orgasms a lot. She has to be quiet though because I have flat mates and thin walls. Sex isn't painful for me, just uncomfortable, maybe I just have to get used to it.
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Paul, from what you've posted in the past I understand that your foreskin doesn't comfortably retract from the glans. I've a feeling that until you solve this problem with stretching the foreskin so that it retracts easily you will continue to have discomfort - and the resulting problems with erections and ejaculation.

    A visit to your Uni's clinic is in order. Don't be embarrassed about it - it's nothing they haven't seen before and you'll wonder why you put it off for so long.

    Good luck, mate.
     
  10. oz_buff_guy

    oz_buff_guy Member

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    Hey Paul,

    For what it's worth, I don't think you need to see a doctor at all unless you feel that it would make you feel better. I think you have a touch of performance anxiety.

    I reckon, you just got to reel back a little and just enjoy life, don't think too much about how you think things should be, things are as they are, so you may as well enjoy them.

    In fact, don't have any predetermined ideas on how you want your night to go, just go with the mood. If you try a new position and it doesn't work, then never mind, try something different again. If you lose your stiffy in the process never mind, take your time and it will come back.

    As far as worrying about hurting her, again, take things slow. If you have warmed her up sufficiently, the dangers of pain are much reduced, reduce them further with plenty of foreplay and a good dose of lube (trust me, she will love it!).

    Remember, the whole concept of sex is fun, so don;t take it all that seriously.

    Let me know if this helps and how things go.

    Chris :tongue:
     
  11. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Sounds to me like a psychological problem. I had the same thing happen to me (impotence) not once, but repeatedly, when I tried to have sex with a girl who had (very) recently broken up with my best friend. No matter what I did/thought about, I just couldn't keep it up long enough to have sex with her. Like, we'd be making out and fooling around or whatever, and then all of a sudden I'm getting naked and she's getting naked and she starts going down on me . . . and boom, instant softness. Turns out my penis is very loyal to my friends.

    So yeah, my advice to you would be to do some soul-searching and figure out what the problem is, then fix it.
     
  12. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    I agree with your assessment. Sounds to me like you are not entirely comfortable with sex unless you are able to both control and monitor her reactions. If you could get her to tell you how good she felt during sex in other positions, that'd probably help.
    Can't help you there, man, I don't have foreskin. :tongue:
     
  13. dlcs

    dlcs New Member

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    Smegging brilliant. Something women have been trying to get men to understand for ages.

    I think I want to lick Chris's calf muscles for that post.
     
  14. oz_buff_guy

    oz_buff_guy Member

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    You lick away baby, and don't feel you need to stop at the calves! LOL

    C
     
  15. vinny_spiruccino

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    Ummm... how bout ME?:32:
     
  16. oz_buff_guy

    oz_buff_guy Member

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    Ask dlcs nicely and maybe she'll lick your calves too, failing thta i'll have you lick mine - pucker up...
    :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: Big C:tongue: :tongue: :tongue:
     
  17. Will9

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    Hi Paul,

    I think there are a few things going on here... 1 A slight tightness of the foreskin (phimosis) that can be helped surgically I believe but I've read many accounts of men with a similar problem that have solved it with gentle stretching (google it). And, 2. the loss of erection and failure to reach orgasm in certain positions. Probably, 2 is mostly psychological but I'll tell you about my experience.

    Before I go on I'm sure lots will agree that these are sensitive issues to talk about with a lover and I'm not sure that an up front discussion will help much as then it becomes a 'problem' you are both worried about and that doesn't help at all.

    I have had difficulties cumming when my girlfriend sucks me off. Thankfully I don't get soft but it is bad enough as cumming is the sure fire way she knows that she has satisfied me. I would simply put this down to it not being a good position for me but I have had the experience of being sucked off by a guy who must have been an expert. The sensations were like nothing I've ever had since and amazing. The pleasure was almost unbearable and I had the pleasure of being sucked off to blowing a load with this guy twice. So there is a great deal of technique that is to do with it as well and it might not be all psychological. Maybe gently instructing her as she sucks you as to what might make it better 'a little harder, more on the head' wouldn't go wrong.

    But mostly I agree with others... just try to forget about the issues and just have fun! :biggrin1:
     
  18. oz_buff_guy

    oz_buff_guy Member

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    Hey Will - good advice, I agree that some good technique goes down (!!!) very well - this of course works both ways. Similarily, you need to tell your partner what you like and what feels good. Also a good idea to ask your partner what they like.

    Something I've learnt is that very few if any people are born 'good at sex', just like nobody is born good at riding a bike.

    Practice in a fun, non-threatening and no blame environment are the best ways to allay any fears and see where the journey takes you. The most important thing is to recognise that things will not always be fantastic every single time, and the true path to improvement is how you bounce back from the not so good experiences.

    Sex is a joy, don't take it alll so seriously. Take your time and work through any teething problems - we have all had them.

    Something I heard once that seems to be true to me is: that if the sex is good in a relationship, then it is only a small part of the relationship. If the sex is bad in a relationship, then it becomes a big part of the relationship.

    Shit, I sound nearly wise! lol

    Big C :tongue:
     
  19. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    i dont know how many times i have to say this to you guys but here it goes again

    DONT THINK ABOUT IT, STOP THINKING, DONT THINK ABOUT IT, STOP THINKING, DONT THINK ABOUT IT, STOP THINKING, DONT THINK ABOUT IT, STOP THINKING,
     
  20. Freddie53

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    You have diagnosed your problem here. "Sex isn't painful for me, just uncomfortable." I know of nothing that will make an erection go away faster than discomfort. And I know from personal experience what being uncomfortable does to your ability to orgasm. It shuts it down is what it does. I had a problem sometime back that caused slight pain when penis was erect that increased as I tried to climax. Yeah, that put the brakes on everything.


    Why is sex uncomfortable?

    I don't know. It could be a variety of things. I agree with Pecker. Go see an urologist. Tell him of your foreskin problem. Share what you have shared with us. He should be able to help you. And I would go to a male urologist. A man understands from personal experience what goes on during orgasm for a male.
     
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