I have the cheese.

[Northland]

As you dash back into your lair you run into a mean-spirited bear who is mad that his wifey bear has run off with his bestest friend Yummy Bear. In fright you drop the cheese and I zip in and grab it, then roll away on my trusty old roller skates.




I have the cheese, you don't, so har-har-hardy-ha-ha!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

As you roll off on your roller skates, I use my laser pointer magnified thru my glasses to cut your wheels off, thus sending you flying into an alley webbed with shrinkwrap. While the cheese is in mid air, I grab it & paraplane out of there to parts unknown.

I-HAVE-THE-CHEE-EESE, I-HAVE-THE- CHEESE-AGAIN! AND-YOU'RE-STUCK-IN- CELLAPHANE-SHRINKWRAAAAAPPP!!!

THPPT!!!:tongue:

 

[beretta8]

I load a match into my crossbow.....light it and fling it at your paraplane....fortunately you've been drinking 151..cuz I missed by a long shot....the flames chase your breath and you fall to earth naked.....I run to you with a big decision to make....Chuck's big piece or the cheese....Ah..I figure there's always another opportunity since you don't give up easy..so I take the cheese....another opportunity with Chuck E later...

I have the cheese and I'm keeping it....

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Unfortunately for you, I kept some curare hidden in my knapsack, and use my blowgun to zap you on the neck, thus paralyzing you, but leaving you alert. I pry the cheese from your stiff hands and teleport out of there with no traces.

The cheese is mine once more!!!!

 

[mitchymo]

Although i had given up on the cheese i have have been enlisted by the three blind mice who cannot see it to obtain it for them, they have provided me with a MASSIVEPKGO CHUCK sized mousetrap which worked wonderfully!

Now i have the cheese!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Unfrotunately, the mouse trap you got from the three blind mice had an acme logo on it, and as such I was free before it trapped me. Now it traps YOU instead, and I get the cheese and zip along my way.
THE-CHEESE-IS....MINE.

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

But on your way along, you run into me and I seduce you with my irresistible "come-hither" stare and as you reach out to grab hold of me - I zap the cheese from you and slink off (no need to run - you're still mesmerized. lol), while you're eyes stay glued on my swaying ass.

Now, I have the cheese. lol.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Sadly, I borrowed spidey's webshooter and webbed you from your ankles to your chest in a snug yet temporary cocoon. Cuz I want my cheeseburger. I take the cheese and use burst of speed sonic boom and am halfway across three counties.
I-HAVE-THE-CHEE-EESE,I-HAVE-THE-CHEESE-A-GAIN!

 

[bigboy9239]

What...is ...it ...I'm....looking...at....WOW....what ...a...nice...ass.......Whoa...XXXXXXX

You almost had me there, chicky...but it ain't gonna work, and almost only counts in horsehoes and Atom Bombs, and we ain't playing with either. While you try to leave the scene, I call the Greensboro Police Dept. for backup. They arrive on scene to secure the perimeter, and upon locating YOU and the stolen object, they arrest you, take you to jail, and give ME the cheese....cause I have rank, baby!!!

One Adam 12-One Adam 12-cheese in custody!! <<< that means I HAVE IT!!

 

[Northland]

As the cheese is handed to you, I notice that you appear to be wearing a face mask. I rush over and tear it off you, revealing you to be the Evil Cheese Melter who has been go around the world stealing cheese (while posing as a law enforcement person) and then melting the cheese and feeding it to lactose intolerant astronauts causing them to...well...it gets mighty messy up there on the space station now. I grab the cheese as Officer Smurknuckles throws you on the ground and beats you with a bag of stale marshmallows.


I dance off into the sunset with the cheese...in other words, I have the cheese.

 

[funnyguy]

Sunset? HA! Just over the horizon, I have strung a very thin invisible rope that you and your silly skipping and dancing and phony glee don't even notice.. You lose your balance fall down a hill beyond the horizon. I am there to grasp the cheese out of your hands. I beam myself to an "unknown" asteroid. Here I gloat over the fact that I HAVE THE CHEESE!

 

[bigboy9239]

Unfortunately, the asteroid you beamed to... really is an ASSteroid...its made of the feces of giant space whales. You take off your space helmet and whew!!....you pass out from the smell. The GPS locator that was on the cheese works as intended, but given where its been....naw..you keep it.

On second thought, give it here, stinky...

You know what this means.......LOL I gots da chedda!!!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Unfortunately, the asteroid you beamed to... really is an ASSteroid...its made of the feces of giant space whales. You take off your space helmet and whew!!....you pass out from the smell. The GPS locator that was on the cheese works as intended, but given where its been....naw..you keep it.

On second thought, give it here, stinky...

You know what this means.......LOL I gots da chedda!!!

Unfortunately for you, your air mask conks out, & you start gasping for air from the ASSteroid, but mine doesn't & I grab the cheese & bolt to an unknown country.

In short---(SINGSONG) I-HAVE-THE-CHEE-EESE, I-HAVE-THE-CHEESE- AGAIN! AND-YOU'RE-ON-A-STINKY-ASSTEROID,OUT-OF-BREAAA-TH!
NOW, ONTO MY CHEESEBURGER!!!:biggrin:

 

[Northland]

Unfortunately for you, your air mask conks out, & you start gasping for air from the ASSteroid, but mine doesn't & I grab the cheese & bolt to an unknown country.

In short---(SINGSONG) I-HAVE-THE-CHEE-EESE, I-HAVE-THE-CHEESE- AGAIN! AND-YOU'RE-ON-A-STINKY-ASSTEROID,OUT-OF-BREAAA-TH!
NOW, ONTO MY CHEESEBURGER!!!:biggrin:

Unfortunately for you, the unknown country is Ibzalaqyirri and I am its supreme leader. My minions do my bidding and tie you up and then wrap you in not so supple Corinthian leather. Your circulation is cut off and you drop the cheese onto a red wagon which is rushed over to me by my trusted schnauzer, Norman. Norman and myself then click our heels together 8 times and are transported to Baghdad where we blend in with the thousands of merchants in their stalls (we somehow landed in the year 1302).


I now have the cheese (although Norman is looking rather annoyed that he is no longer with his boy-toy Carlos).

At any rate, I have the cheese and you are stuck in another part of the space-time continuum.

 

[bigboy9239]

Drats, Drats...and Double Drats!! Foiled again!! Darn you, Chuck!!!

Ok Northland, nice try....Supreme leader...in my book, that means you are Diana Ross.... and she is not known for eating cheese. I call in a favor from an old buddy with the Second Marines... he calls for several A-10 Warthogs to strafe the area where you are. He bombs Baghdad back to the Middle ages...which would be about the year 1302 or so (actually pretty close to now) ...he invades your bazaar, does a sweep, finds the cheese and gives it back to me. I cooly saunter back to my Plane and get outta dodge. Fire up the grill....cause Cheeseburgers will ensue, my friend.

Roger that....we have the cheese!! Out!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Drats, Drats...and Double Drats!! Foiled again!! Darn you, Chuck!!!

Ok Northland, nice try....Supreme leader...in my book, that means you are Diana Ross.... and she is not known for eating cheese. I call in a favor from an old buddy with the Second Marines... he calls for several A-10 Warthogs to strafe the area where you are. He bombs Baghdad back to the Middle ages...which would be about the year 1302 or so (actually pretty close to now) ...he invades your bazaar, does a sweep, finds the cheese and gives it back to me. I cooly saunter back to my Plane and get outta dodge. Fire up the grill....cause Cheeseburgers will ensue, my friend.

Roger that....we have the cheese!! Out!

Sadly, my fine feathered fiend, er friend, I have a "company" friend working over there under OPERATION CHEDDAR RECOVERY, and he locates you with his portable gps with cheddar radar. He then zaps you with a curare dart before you board your plane, and takes the cheese to rendezvous with me. And now I'm gonna do all three; dip, tacos, and cheeseburgers.

In short....

I-HAVE-THE-CHEE-EESE, I-HAVE-THE-CHEESE- AGAIN!

 

[bigboy9239]

LOL....haying been given the heads up on the curare dart thingy... I have the antidote already taken. Once again, the Mossad comes through for me....they had you under surveillance the whole time. They shoot one of those new non-lethal sound guns at you which makes you hot and itch like you can't believe. You can't stand it any longer..you have to scratch and you can't scratch and and hold the cheese at the same time, so You drop the cheese.....No problema.....thank you very much, Chuck-o!!! As for tacos, my mexican ex-girlfriend Milly can whip up the finest in the land. Of course, thats not hard cause we're still in Baghdad. Once again.....the cheese is in it's righful place...my frig.... Yes, tacos, and Cheeseburgers are in the works.

Yes, my friend, I have the cheese!!

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Only problem is-I mixed up the curare darts, so you now have AN antidote. As for the sonic gun, well I had my ear protection on, so no effect. Now my double agent "company man" sprays you with a combo of poison ivy, hot pepper, and curare that stiffens you like a board, and dropping the cheese. I grab the cheese and go off with my company guy, who turns out is my gf in disguise, and we both go off on the boat that leads to an island in the phillipines(well, that is where she's from!)

So, my fiend, I have the cheese for keeps.

 

[bigboy9239]

Wait just a minute, Chuck-O.....there appear to be some sort of a hypnotic button and instructions on the side of the box...written in Tagalog.... your girlfriend reads it is instantly "HYPMOTIZED" and prompty takes the cheese and smacks you up side the noggin, rendering you both incontinent and unconscious. While she's trying to snap out of it.... I calmly do What I do best..... procure the box of golden goodness...and get outta dodge. SEEYA!!!

Once more...psstt...You know..

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Never heard of double cross, didja? And who do think installed the button? Buuuuuuuut, since I counted on her doing this to lure you in, only fair to warn you the cheese you think you have is actually a splendid blend of C-4 and semtex died cheese yellow, with a trip wire rigged to the all sides of the box. You, like a prize sucker open it, and have an accident Wile E. Coyote would be jealous of. Me and my GF look from the distance, laughing and toasting our sweet victory with a bottle of Cabernet sauvignon. We roar off with the real cheese and take a few snaps of you with a stupified, "Whuh th' hell happened?" look on your face while youre smoldering.

So, once again, there, BB, I have the cheese.