I've been stalking this board for a while and there seems to be a lot of really great, intelligent people here and I'd just like to get some advice on a situation I'm in. I have a best friend, we'll call her 'M'. 'M' and I have been friends for about 4 yrs, and absolute best friends for about 3 of those. I'm 23 and she'll be 36 next month, but we're really on the same plane, because I act more mature than my age, and she tends to be a little looser and edgier and more fun than most people her age, so we meet in the middle. I don't use the term "soul mate" very often, but I truly, TRULY believe her and I were put on the planet to be together. We're kindred spirits, and as close as can be. So naturally, I fall absolutely head over hills in love with her about a year ago, only problem being that she's married with 2 kids. FUCK!! Anyway. We have what she calls our "emotional affair", because we work together, and we talk or text every single night for hours on end. The situation gradually got a lot deeper and hotter, and we've done everything *but* get physical. Random people and people at work even think we're a couple. So I start trying to convince her to go further with me, because she flirts like you wouldn't believe. She then drops a bombshell on me and tells me that about 5 yrs ago, before I met her, she had an affair, and her husband found out, and basically tortured her and made her life a living hell for 6 weeks, until he left and went to Iraq, pretty much just to get away. I was livid that she's still with him after this, but she stays because of the kids, but that's another topic. So I keep trying to make advances, but don't make a move out of respect for her, I don't wanna do anything unless she's ready, and I don't want to take a chance on jeopardizing our friendship. So what should I do? In our conversations on the phone, we have very graphic phone sex and "sexting". She's all time making comments like "I wanna fuck you like a dog in heat" or she'll give me scenarios to think about before I go to bed, etc. But when I talk about really getting physical, it's always "I really, really want to but I can't. I'm terrified he'll find out again." I've promised her we'll hide it and there's no way he'll find out, but she's not convinced. I normally would never have an affair, but I know him and he's honestly a jerk off, and she shouldn't be with him. I have more love for this woman than I ever thought was possible, and it makes me physically ill when I think about never having the chance to be with her physically. It's not so much an issue of the sex, it's more about the affection and showing my love, and making her feel great. I'm at my wit's end. I have no clue what to do. Please, please give any and all advice you can. There are maybe 2 people in the world I can talk to about this, because we are all in the same circle, and they simply can't find out, so I usually have to turn to outside advice. I'm desperate.