I Have Trouble With Women Because Im Too Shy Any Tips?

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I have never been good with women I seem to be getting turned down a lot because I think women think I'm just a "nice guy" or at least have the "beta male" composition. I am tall, dark and I would say pretty darn good looking when i keep stubble in the face.(no sharp angles jaw line etc) I have a deep voice and am a writer who love writing composition with poetry and taught myself how to write sonnets (in archaic )and in iambic pentameter(without any collegiate formal education. I have been too disabled to work to afford school). I am pretty keen on body language and I make eye contact with everyone not just women so i don't have problems with confidence Ive just been so damn SHY. I am highly intelligent for not going to any formal university and can keep an intelligent conversation with anyone but I get too tongue tied with a woman. I am NOT gay but i am comfortable enough with my sexuality to tell a man that another man is real handsome or tell a man himself he looks handsome(which i have no clue why other men have certain problems with being able to do that). I am also very well endowed(which has nothing do with being able to find intimacy to find a true classy mature women) and wish i could tell men(especially ones on here, youtube even the whole damn world in fact it doesn't matter how well endowed you are sometimes some men who are that or are incredibly good-looking just are bad talking to women. Is there any advice you can give me to break shy shell?

PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS I HAVE SEVERE VISION DISTORTION IN ONE EYE AND NEED TO STICK MY FACE IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER TO SEE AS I TYPE
 
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Er, first thing I would recommend working on is tossing that bullshit of "nice guy" and "beta male" out the fucking window. It's not going to do you any good with a large portion of the female population. As for being shy, there's not anything wrong with that. Maybe join a book club or some other such thing that is more likely to draw people leaning towards introvert.
 
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introvert was the more mature word i was looking for
 
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I'm an introvert and a home body to a severe degree. I generally only leave the house a couple of times a week, since I'm starting to work from home. I've met some really awesome friends online, honestly. I met my partner through this site purely by chance. I've become pretty close friends with some other people on here. When I lived in Arizona for a while, I didn't know anyone. I met and became good friends with someone through a firearm related forum. I wouldn't recommend trying to find a girlfriend on here, because... well, there aren't that many women on here and a lot of them are already in relationships OR have no interest in one.

MeetUp could be a place to start, look for something that's a passion of yours and you could start to form a social circle that way. Better to have at least a shared interest or two with someone if you want a relationship. I think so, anyway.
 
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I was NEVER trying to find a girlfriend on here. Im too old fashioned I only use my phone to write/music/movie/ and google. I am on no social media platform in my opinion it has done more worse than good. But thats just my opinion. I like your idea of the book club though for I am in a writers and poetry and archetype group
 

AlteredEgo

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i don't have problems with confidence Ive just been so damn SHY. I am highly intelligent for not going to any formal university and can keep an intelligent conversation with anyone but I get too tongue tied with a woman.
What's the difference between shyness and insecurity? Isn't shyness mostly just fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, fear of failure, or some combination of that? Making eye contact is a great way to project confidence, but doesn't necessarily mean you actually feel it. Just something to think about.

So you can carry on conversations with anyone you're not attracted to? Stop putting attractive people on a pedestal. Stop putting yourself halfway buried up to your neck in the dirt. She's just a woman. Whoever she is, she has laughed until milk came out of her nose. She has banged her knees and toes into furniture in the dark. She has farted in public. It was absolutely rank. Room clearing in quality, but you know, captive audience. She has a secret she's terrified anyone will find out about. She's had to pee really, really badly, and put the seat liner on the seat, and had the toilet flush it before she could pull her pants down, and had to start all over again, and finally makes it to sit on the can, but not before two drops of urine land on her favorite underpants. She has had a crush on someone who rejected her. She has bled and stained a bandage red. She has cried and tasted salt. She is just a person. Just open your mouth. It absolutely does not matter what comes out as long as you remain true to yourself. She either likes yourself or she's not for yourself. And if she's not for yourself you just saved yourself.
 
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I already know the "secret" That women want to be ravished If I knew you well enough I would show you the literary piece i composed about it
 
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And i dont know about the gibberish you just puked out on the screen but i do not put attractive people on a pedestal
 

AlteredEgo

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I already know the "secret"
I have never been good with women

;)
That women want to be ravished
Some women. Sometimes. By some men, sometimes.

I dont read that shit
If you say so. But your lexicon and philosophy is tainted by it, so the conclusion I'm left with os that you've had unintentional exposure to discussions, videos, and socialization put forth by others who've drawn their inspiration from there. Evidence?

  • You believe there is a "secret" to unlocking a woman's desire that can be unilaterally applied
  • PUA and related subcultures emphasize the supposed importance of facial angles, jaw line, etc.
  • PUA and related subcultures obsess over alpha, beta, nice guy, etc.
You asked for advice. I gave. I'm not judging you. I'm trying to help. I was immediately put off by your phrasing, and assume it might put other women off too. I'm making suggestions here, not etching rules into stone.
 

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New And i dont know about the gibberish you just puked out on the screen but i do not put attractive people on a pedestal
Then why do you claim to be able to speak intelligently when you are not speaking to a woman who has caught your romantic/sexual interest?

I think some introspection is in order.
 
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in fact you are judging me with this BS about trying to pick up women. you know nothing about me how dare you that. i came as a surfer testing the waters to see if it was a safe place to surf. and you ravished me like sharks with a predacious born intellect to purposely hurt a human. Fade gave me a holy grail suggesting a book club i told her my interests and you???? You have something wrong with you lady and deep down I think you hate men.
 
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Maybe you have been PUAed on manipulate raped molestaded anything else horrible by a man and i think you hate them for that and believe as a woman i wouldn't trust them either. BUT DONT YOU DARE assume you know my intentions.
 

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in fact you are judging me with this BS about trying to pick up women. you know nothing about me how dare you that. i came as a surfer testing the waters to see if it was a safe place to surf. and you ravished me like sharks with a predacious born intellect to purposely hurt a human. Fade gave me a holy grail suggesting a book club i told her my interests and you???? You have something wrong with you lady and deep down I think you hate men.
I love men. I'm not judging you. You asked for help. I read your posts, I found potential red flags and offered you some things to consider from ther perspective of one woman. Your defensiveness in the face of my genuine effort is as telling as it is surprising. Keep doing it your way though, if you want. It's your life. But you'll have to accept that if you are struggling, it's not going to be helpful to simply find a change of venue. A book club is a great idea for a way to be exposed to new people. However, if you get there, and you still cannot even talk to the women there without becoming
too tongue tied with a woman
what good does it do you to simply do with nee women what has nit been successful with any other women?

I mean, you can proceed, and keep trying to improve without any serious introspection, but you can also shit in one hand and wish in the other and wait to see which one fills up first.

I think you're an interesting person who might have a lot to offer to the right person, but you are very rigid and defensive too. You do not need to soften for me, but I do recommend you open up to yourself, and find those obstacles within. That's where the obstacles usually are. Mine. Yours. Everyone's. Good luck.
 
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AlteredEgo

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Maybe you have been PUAed on manipulate raped molestaded anything else horrible by a man and i think you hate them for that and believe as a woman i wouldn't trust them either. BUT DONT YOU DARE assume you know my intentions.

You're sounding a bit hysterical. I can spot PUA bullshit 5 miles away. They never get near me, and they wouldn't like me anyway. For someone who has never read the rhetoric that comes out of that subculture, you sure know a lot about the worst of it. Not all of it comes from an ugly place, or ill-will to women, and most of it comes from insecurity.

But. Do you recognize it when it is subtle? Do you notice that the vocabulary of that sub-culture has permeated every social space? Do you understand it for what it is when it is posed as harmless seeming advice from a bro? Can you spot it when a person with low self image is using some facets if the ideology to further isolate himself?

I can. That's why I've never been out with one of those guys, and how I've redirected several friends on the precipice of the rabbit hole.

The only one getting emotional here is you. Ask yourself this. Is this emotional outburst getting you laid? Would another woman observe our interaction, and be curious about getting to know you better?

Eye contact and body language are great. Sure. But what else, and how else are you communicating to women that they should like you?
 
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I love men. I'm not judging you. You asked for help. I read your posts, I found potential red flags and offered you some things to consider from ther perspective of one woman. Your defensiveness in the face of my genuine effort is as telling as it is surprising. Keep doing it your way though, if you want. It's your life. But you'll have to accept that if you are struggling, it's not going to be helpful to simply find a change of venue. A book club is a great idea for a way to be exposed to new people. However, if you get there, and you still cannot even talk to the women there without becoming
what good does it do you to simply do with nee women what has nit been successful with any other women?

I mean, you can proceed, and keep trying to improve without any serious introspection, but you can also shit in one hand and wish in the other and wait to see which one fills up first.

I think you're an interesting person who might have a lot to offer to the right person, but you are very rigid and defensive too. You do not need to soften for me, but I do recommend you open up to yourself, and find those obstacles within. That's where the obstacles usually are. Mine. Yours. Everyone's. Good luck.



Well the fact that you said i read PUA just shows you judged me,, thats what set me off I dont believe in alpha this alpha that i think men like Jordan Peterson give the impression that introverts are weak. I give thanks to Fade who made a suggestion without judging me and I took note of tha what did i get from you? Well gee i dont know. So yeah good luck with me good luck with you but truly i just want to add if you come at people with those kind of assumptions on any subject well.... its the reason why people act and dont think in this world and the reason why its so fucked up . My advice to you.
 

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I dont believe in alpha this alpha that
ORLY?
I think women think I'm just a "nice guy" or at least have the "beta male" composition.
Beta...as opposed to...?

My advice to you.
But I haven't asked for any advice. My social life is rich and rewarding. My inner life is also rich and rewarding. (If only my bank accounts were as rich and rewarding.) You asked for advice.

You volunteered a lot of biographical information in your first post. It is true I analyzed that information, but I did not judge you, and certainly not harshly. I also pointed out that you need not accept my analysis, but that there were indications that you should engage insome reflection and introspection, and come up with an analysis of your own. Notice, I could handily defend every estimate I made. You have either refuted these suggestions with only unsupported contradiction of me, or unintentionally funny contradictions of yourself.

Do you want to know what the first thing they try to teach in University is? Never read passively. Always be actively thinking. Just saved you from having to show up to the first day of 100 level English Comp, if you ever decide you do want to go the formal route.

Naturally, I believed you told us half your life story because you wanted advice tailored specifically for you. @Fade led you to a salve for your symptoms. I wanted to offer you the opportunity to find for yourself the cause, so you could most effectively treat your rash of misfortunes with women.

But you really are worse with women than I thought. What you called vomiting onto the screen? That was me trying to make you laugh at yourself, at me, at the stupidity that is every day life. I mean, I was just pointing out the dumb shit we all experience, with examples that were a little too specific and ridiculous to be anything but observational absurdist humor. And what did you do? You freaked out. Contradicted me. Said you do not put women on a pedestal, but then could not answer my rebuttal: Why do you claim to be able to carry on intelligent conversation generally, but unable to keep from getting tongue tied with women?

How can you claim to actually feel the confidence you want to project, but you are unable to represent yourself to women who interest you? How can you claim to be both confident and shy? How can you claim to be confident, but fly way off the handle out of proportion to what has been calmly, rationally, quite fucking civilly explained to you as another person's line of reasoning regarding their analysis of your posts? What other conclusion should I draw but that my questions and my analysis, not judgment, have triggered insecurities, or challenged your ideas about yourself to a degree you are not prepared to handle?

Instead of realizing that my feedback represented how you are perceived by some women, you threw a puerile tantrum. What does that say about you? I assume you are hoping to find a woman like me. Maybe not. I am conventionally attractive with an unconventional aesthetic, well-read, worldly and well-traveled, articulate, creative, sensual and sexual, romantic and practical, presentable at professional events, and wildly mischievous in private. I make men's friends laugh, and charm their parents. I ask again: How do you think a woman like that views our interaction here? Would it make her want to get to know you?

Fade gave you good advice, and you appreciated it. Did you notice she said she wishes she never even reaponded to you after witnessing your behavior here?

I am not trying to hurt you. I am trting to encourage you to look at yourself through someone else's eyes, instead of a mirror.

But you don't hear me though. You're already a full vessel. No room for new information. You already know the "secret".
 

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I’m thinking beta here means a fish that doesn’t get along with others.

I heard some word use that is basically a dog whistle to other men who don’t like women as people.
Those sorts won’t get attention from women, and lessen your chances of hitting it off with a woman.

So, lose the alpha/beta wording, and reread AE’s post about how the woman is human.
She’s correct.