i just cant seem to do it

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dale90, Feb 12, 2009.

  1. dale90

    dale90 New Member

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    Ok, now im not one who usually lacks in confidence, but there this girl i like at work...and im pretty sure we flirt all the time, but i am scared to ask her out..for two reasons
    one reason is...because i gota work with her, and if she says no, i know i will feel like a tit and having to see her at work all the time will make me embarassed
    another is...i really like her, usually if i get turned down im like onto the next one, but i want more from her, she isnt stunning, but is fairly good looking, but i have such a laugh with her
    now i think she likes me, as i always make her laugh, weather its through jokes, or taking the piss out of regulars, or taking the piss out of her, she laughs, also shes started touching me around the hip area quiet alot.
    anyone got any ideas how i can discreetly ask her out, but at the same time if she says no, make it look as though i wasnt?
     
  2. blg3floor3

    blg3floor3 New Member

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    I'm sure there are a lot of ways, but one thing you can try is to say that you are going to some event like a movie, concert, convention, party, or some other such thing. It has to be true though, you don't want to bullshit that. Then you say that she's welcome to come along, or that she should go too because it's going to be a lot of fun, etc. You know, something similar to what you'd say to a buddy. If she really is interested in you, she would probably be inclined to go along. If not, oh well, you didn't straight up ask her "hey, want to go on a date?" and it was ambiguous enough that things shouldn't be weird afterward if she doesn't go. You should be able to have fun regardless, since it's some thing that you wanted to go to/do anyway (emotional fallout of rejection aside).
     
  3. Not_Punny

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    Workplace romances, when they fail, can be a bitch.

    If I were you, I would wait a bit, or start with something really innocuous (innocent) like having lunch together IN the workplace.
     
  4. dale90

    dale90 New Member

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    its a bar we both work in, and so we dont have dinner breaks, only breaks we get are cigerette breaks, so lunch in the workplace isnt a possibility :(
     
  5. driftingvoid

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    Before you said it was a bar, I was going to suggest that you be very cautious flirting with co-workers. Outside of restaurants and bars, many places can be very quick to throw the "sexual harassment" flag, and, despite how things should be, men generally end up on the bad side of that equation -- not saying that men don't often earn the flack for harassment.

    In any event, what blg3floor3 said I agree with: find something that's going on outside of work, that she might be interested in ... and invite her. If you want to play the safety card, bring one or more of your friends along to it, so it doesn't force her into a 1-on-1 experience with you. Maybe there's a popular movie coming out, or a band in town; figure out something-- an event --that you think she might go for, and invite her to come along with you. And do it like "you're welcome to come along," not "would you like to come with me" -- that comes later. At least, if you're trying to take the cautious/shy approach with her. You could always just be bold, but ... well, you've already hinted that the bold approach isn't an option you're considering.

    Good luck...
     
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