I like a girl at work

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by RandyL, Jan 20, 2008.

  1. RandyL

    RandyL New Member

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    All right, I need some people here to help pound something into my thick head, since I can't seem to do it myself.

    Plain and simple, I like a girl I work with. She's no supermodel, she might be a 7-1/2 on a good day with makeup. About 5 foot 7, 135 lbs, nice legs and ass, but not much for tits, only about a B cup. Light brown hair and green eyes, which I love.

    We get along well at work, We talk to each other nicely, but she only talks to me about work related stuff. Never any casual conversation, except on rare occassion.

    However, I don't think there's any chance we'll ever get together, as she doesn't seem to show the slightest interest in me.

    But this evening, I had checked a Yahoo Personals account I had made last week, and wouldn't you know it, SHE was listed as one of my matches! How about that?

    The only problem is that she already knows me from work.

    So I know she's single and looking, she knows I'm single and looking. Just last week I had commented to her about how I had no Valentine's Day plans yet. She never says a word to me about doing anything together, and I don't dare ask for a date at work for fear she'd run upstairs saying something about sexual harrassment.

    This is my problem.

    What can you tell me to help me get her out of my head? I think we'd get along good together, given the chance, but from what I can see, she considers me a co-worker only and never anything more.

    This is very frustrating for me.
     
  2. Quite Irate

    Quite Irate Member

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    If you think she's that kind of person, why do you want to date her?
    Or do you just not know very much about her?


    Men try to approach asking girls out in a somewhat timid way. It doesn't work. If you're interested, you've got to be committed. Willingness to utterly make a fool out of yourself goes a long way. It shows the person you're asking out that you care about them (or makes them think it, anyway). If you decide to do it, don't half-ass it. That's all I'm saying. Weigh the odds, and if you determine that complete rejection won't be that crushing (personally, for your job, whatever), do it.
     
  3. classact1979

    classact1979 New Member

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    It's very natural to be attracted to someone at work. We spend more time there than anywhere else in our lives, short of our beds, fast asleep. However, having any personal relationship at work can only cause problems down the road. Nothing's a guarantee, and how will you feel when you and she don't make it? How will it affect your job? And is this a job you don't mind leaving should anything turn sour and make it difficult to go?

    Think seriously before you do anything.
     
  4. RandyL

    RandyL New Member

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    I'm definitely trying to think seriously on this.

    We both have jobs that are not going to be permanent, and she's also made remarks about looking for something better.

    I'm thinking of starting to look also, but a sudden loss of a steady paycheck would not be good.

    If I knew that one of us was leaving the job, I'd talk to her straight out about it, and get a solid yes or no answer. At that point I'd have nothing to lose by trying.

    I think I'm going to mention that I saw her Yahoo Personals ad in my matches and see what she says. Chances are that I was in her match list also.

    DAMN if only we didn't work together! That would make this so much easier.
     
  5. allmale

    allmale Member

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    Keep your dick out of your paycheck.
     
  6. modulo

    modulo New Member

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    I think my mother said it best. "Don't find your honey where you make your money." It only takes one falling-out to potentially ruin both careers not to mention the office busy-bodies in your face all the time.
     
  7. D_Jurgen Klitgaard

    D_Jurgen Klitgaard Account Disabled

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    Haha! :rofl:

    Man, I hope it all works out for you.:smile:
     
  8. snoozan

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    Why settle for a 7.5?
     
  9. optimum

    optimum New Member

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    RandyL, in opposition of what other have said, I urge you to take your time and possibly even try to forget any romantic inclinations you have towards her.

    You're going to need to start chatting up casual conversation yourself. Instigate it. Show her you're not afraid to let yourself open up, and that you're not afraid of what will happen when she opens up. This isn't going to go anywhere if you guys don't at least get an idea of who the other person is in their spare time.

    Work and school are useless for hooking up on dates. And I know from experience that if you try to lead a new relationship in the dating direction immediately, you're going to fail. It's not comfortable for her, and you should want to get to know who you think you're attracted to before you just dive in for it.

    The attraction soundss purely physical at this point, and from what you have said, she obviously doesn't give a shit. I say talk her ear off. If she doesn't break down and start laughing with your witty conversation, then tell that chick that she's got work to do and should get busy.
     
  10. Osiris

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    Deja vu like a mug.

    Yesterday, two people at work, who had been dating, broke up and broke up badly. Short story? Girl gets "sent home to think things over", boy got a wrotten reprimand, word spread like wild fire and now said boy has been "black listed by a majority of the department, and the supervisors and management are in a tizzy because all of this affected yesterday's productivity.

    I have to agree with allmale on this one and even you know it since you asked how to forget about her. On that note, Snoozan is right. Why settle for a 7.5? Snoozan is a woman of good judgement and I can tell you she would never settle for a Yugo when a Rolls would do.

    Good luck man. It sucks to be in that place, but keep your eye open outsude of work and you'll find that 10.
     
  11. RandyL

    RandyL New Member

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    I should have mentioned before that we've been working together in the same area for about 16 months now. She's within 30 or so feet of me normally, but I work on one type of thing, and she works on another. She also hangs (and I do mean HANGS) with a 60 year old married guy (she's 33) and they talk almost ALL the time. There are days when they are rarely more than 5 feet apart. I guess he's "safe" to her because he's old and married.

    I heard her talking to her 60 year old buddy this morning, and I heard her mention how she is going to meet some guy from the Yahoo Personals thing this weekend. I actually felt a little better. I told her how I had looked at my list of matches and she was in it, she laughed and said how she had once gotten matched with some tattooed I.C.P. asshole who used to work with us a year ago. So I had the chance to say what was on my mind, and it went painlessly. I also mentioned that I'd sent her one of the yahoo icebreaker things with the message of "hi there", and that was it.

    I checked my yahoo email when I got home from work this evening, and she had already viewed my profile. I expect nothing will come of it.

    Why don't I want a 10? Well I do, BUT - every guy will be chasing her then. I think I'd rather have a woman who's a little more plain looking but still cute, hopefully with big DD+ cup natural tits.

    This girl is a very nice person from what I've seen and heard in the last 1 year plus. I'd rather have a 7.5 who's a nice woman to be with rather than deal with a total bitch 10. Looks aren't enough to make up for an attitude.

    Well thanks for the tips so far, this helps me get her out of my head and move on to a girl I actually have a chance of boning sometime in the near future.
     
  12. bstexas

    bstexas Member

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    R ... obviously you like her a bit ... hell, you said so. You even mention you told her about the Yahoo match too. Well, if that didn't get her to take notice, I guess nothing will. Also, have you ever thought that she doesn't want an office relationship herself? Who knows, she may have her eye on you but doesn't wanna screw things up there. Or maybe she's seeing the 60 year old on the side! LOL

    I used to think like a lot of people here do ... not dating a coworker. My office (about 1,300 in several buildings) has even made us go through training and mention not dating coworkers. So many of us in the auditorium sorta chuckled. We have MANY, MANY ongoing relationships, marriages, etc. in our company. We ever had two in my department date under the radar for months and eventually got married. I would draw the line with dating a coworker in my department. Like some say, it could get messy. But then again, it could work out fine.

    However, since she is so reluctant to give you the time of day or express interest, you should just leave her alone. If she was interested I'm sure you'd know. We are all animals (in a way) and are turned on or attracted to various types and not to others. Maybe she just isn't attracted to you (sux) or she's just trying to not date in the office. Get her outta your mind and look for the next one.
     
  13. SpoiledPrincess

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    After working together for 16 months if she had any interest in you beyond the normal interest in someone you work with it would have shown itself.
     
  14. D_Chesty_Pecjiggle

    D_Chesty_Pecjiggle Account Disabled

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    I saw grow a pair and ask her out politely.

    All the mature women I know know how to say "Thank you, I'm flattered, but no thank you" if they aren't interested. Or they may even just make an excuse to let you down easily. I'm guessing that if she is a nice person like you say, she would be very polite in return even if she weren't interested in a day.

    This isn't 8th grade. Go for it!
     
  15. snoozan

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    I married my boss of and we've worked wonderfully together now for 10 years-- 3 as co-workers and 7 as a married couple. My husband was smart enough to wait to show any interest until he and I no longer worked together, and I'm glad because there was already gossip about us going around the office at the end even though I had no idea he was interested in me and vice versa. So much can go wrong when you date a coworker, and having this taint your career is dangerous. You really don't want to get your higher-ups involved in your personal life.

    I think you missed my point when I said you shouldn't settle for a 7.5. My point was that if you don't think she's a 10, if there's not that kind of chemistry there, don't bother. I'm not talking about what some other guy or what TV tells you a 10 would be. That's completely irrelevant, and it seems to be what you're doing. If you look at all women and grade them on this scale that seems based on what you think other peoples' ideas are (which you implied by saying everyone would want her), then you're going to end up with arm candy and not much else. Dating is not a commodities market, even though a lot of men treat it that way. Go for someone that's irresistible to you, you can talk to for hours, you love being with, you can live with, you can imagine and want to share a life with, and not someone that measures up to some scale you have in your head of how hot women are.

    I don't know, SP, most likely, but I was pretty stupid when it came to my husband since he was so good at hiding his feelings for so long. But he's probably an exception because he's as loony as I am. :biggrin1:
     
  16. earllogjam

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    yup.

    yup, yup.

    Love hath no mercy. Try concentrating on your job first, or find another position, or find a girlfriend to get her out of your mind.

    I realize it's easier said than done as impossible crushes are fodder for an active imagination err... masterbation.
     
  17. Max Downs

    Max Downs Member

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    maybe but she's probably self consious about being a 7.5, she probably dosen't know how to approach a 10. I think the op should definetly make the first move in this case and put the 7.5's mind at rest about being less attractive than the 10. look on the bright side op if you have children with the 7.5 the'll be at lest an 8.5 maybe 8 at worst, Most people could live with that.
     
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