HyperHulk
Experimental Member
- Joined
- May 12, 2007
- Posts
- 825
- Media
- 1
- Likes
- 14
- Points
- 163
- Location
- Sydney, Oz
- Sexuality
- 50% Straight, 50% Gay
- Gender
- Male
I am dealing with the same situation I guess. I started checking out cocks from like 2 years ago. Big cocks, like mine. I also did some webcam sessions with some big-cocked guys. I am a heterosexual, I would never have sex with another male in real life, I find that disgusting and immoral. I love my big cock: the shape, uncut, length etc. I guess that's why I had interest in other big cocks. It was kind of 'adventurous' & exciting which made me horny. I stopped for some months now, the idea made me sick. I never ever had the same interest in my past life, I always adored girls. I see it as a phase. The 2 years I'm talking about were 2 years of instability, mental problems, I couldn't think clear. I was physically alive but mentally dead. I woke up and realized I was doing things that I would actually never do, it is against my ideals. I now feel like a scandelous guy, a moron. I can never turn it back, I already did it. I wish I never did it, I would love to have a relationship with a nice girl but I'm not worth it anymore. Bad thoughts about myself are currently dominating my life, I feel like shit.
this might be a normal phase in the life as an adolescent? I don't know. 1 thing is sure: I never had sexual attraction to another guy in real life. I always chased the girls. It is now time to accept what I did and move on.
I feel sorry for you that you have had experiences in your life that would cause you to feel such high-levels of self hatred and confusion. Although, considering how sexuality is handled by many, I can understand where you're coming from. My greatest hope for you is that you learn to manage your own feelings of self-worth. I'd like to challenge you on your statements regarding sexual interest in guys. I personally don't feel there is anything immoral or wrong about liking or being sexually interested in guys if you are a guy. What's immoral or wrong is making others feel like pariahs or outcasts for their feelings. I hope you find some positive role models or outlets where you can see there are millions of caring, wonderful and well-adjusted men who are sexually into men. Good luck--you are worth being loved, love yourself.