Straight males don't jack off in showers where males are at. So the guy could be gay and with a female because he is afraid to admit he is gay. Or he could be bisexual. But clearly isn't straight. But if you had any decency you wouldn't try to be in a relationship with a person you know were already in a relationship with somebody else. How about go find somebody who is single.
I like married guy. need advice on next stage.
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Straight males don't jack off in showers where males are at. So the guy could be gay and with a female because he is afraid to admit he is gay. Or he could be bisexual. But clearly isn't straight. But if you had any decency you wouldn't try to be in a relationship with a person you know were already in a relationship with somebody else. How about go find somebody who is single.
I would never have embarked on a relationship with a married person but I would have had an innocent wank and then had a platonic friendship. I know I would run the risk of confusing myself and him.
But I know my yearning is unhealthy and I never wanted to accept that I was gay and had to renounce relationships with "normal" (in my distorted head) straight men. Hence I seek out the ones that I can't have for my selfish reasons of personal security.
But I do agree with you that straight men don't masturbate in showers frequently solely by other males, especially when they know another guy is present in the next stall on an almost daily basis. He will never see me again after yesterday. I felt like an adolescent again and made a dick of myself. Thanks for the responses everyone.
Quick question - would a straight guy get a kick out of knowing that a gay guy is getting turned on by watching him wank? What pay off does this guy get from having a private wank in a male only shower stall knowing that it is a shared experience?
I would never wank in front of others (except at home but that's different). Wouldn't want to be watched by others and wouldn't want to be checked out by guys in showers. I'm just there to have a quick shower and get out.
But you keep saying private. That means the guy is doing it alone and out of sight of others which a lot of straight guys do, including me when the urge hits but in a stall in mens room at work which really isn't any different. Never done it in gym showers. Sounds to me like this guy didn't want to be spied on
But you keep saying private. That means the guy is doing it alone and out of sight of others which a lot of straight guys do, including me when the urge hits but in a stall in mens room at work which really isn't any different. Never done it in gym showers. Sounds to me like this guy didn't want to be spied on
No. He knows that I was there each time. We would speak before closing our respective doors and then he'd start immediately. I'm suspecting that after lifting weights he likes to unwind.
One day he walked past me in the changing room after we had met in the shower block and said with a smirk "Best part of the day". He knows what he is doing. But I cannot fathom what kick he derives from it.
One day he walked past me in the changing room after we had met in the shower block and said with a smirk "Best part of the day". He knows what he is doing. But I cannot fathom what kick he derives from it.
My take is that he's fully aware of what's going on, his kick is probably exhibitionism, and maybe he enjoys teasing you a bit. He might well be up for some fooling around in the steam room, that's why he invited you there. I'd say he's not interested in anything romantic or even a friendship, this is just an amusing part of the day for him. Probably best to steer clear imo because you are far more invested in this than he is. That's just my take on what you've described.
He is saying that pursuing this can only lead to trouble...
He might have known you were there, but by closing the door he clearly didn't want an audience. Maybe he just likes to unwind after his workout like you said. That's normal, lots of guys do.
Stop thinking that the dude had the hots for you and get over him. I thought you already were.
So now that he rejected you, you are thinking of a revenge? Leave him alone and stop peeking under his shower stall!
Who mentioned 'revenge'? What I said was that I would remove myself from the gym so that he has some peace to pleasure himself and I can sort my head out and not confuse my lust for a reciprocated feeling.
I saw him yesterday and he saw me in the opposite shower. He started to pleasure himself again. When leaving the gym I didn't stop to talk to him or greet as I used do. He has no interest in me and just likes masturbating in a male shower room in private. Maybe he gets no opportunity at home.
I saw him yesterday and he saw me in the opposite shower. He started to pleasure himself again. When leaving the gym I didn't stop to talk to him or greet as I used do. He has no interest in me and just likes masturbating in a male shower room in private. Maybe he gets no opportunity at home.
Look...
You have two choices...
1) Accept things the way they are and do nothing. The best outcome... you have exactly what you have now, which is nothing really. The worst outcome... he moves on to something else and you lose what you have now. Meanwhile you live with the regret of "what might have been"
2) Invite him out to lunch or coffee or something and see what is next. The best outcome... you find a friend, or even a friend with benefits, or more. The worst outcome... he's freaked and lose what you have now, which is nothing really.
Hmmm... no brainer... one choice leads to possibility and hope, the other leads to delusions and regrets.
You have two choices...
1) Accept things the way they are and do nothing. The best outcome... you have exactly what you have now, which is nothing really. The worst outcome... he moves on to something else and you lose what you have now. Meanwhile you live with the regret of "what might have been"
2) Invite him out to lunch or coffee or something and see what is next. The best outcome... you find a friend, or even a friend with benefits, or more. The worst outcome... he's freaked and lose what you have now, which is nothing really.
Hmmm... no brainer... one choice leads to possibility and hope, the other leads to delusions and regrets.
BTW - an overture or an invite (a request for help), is not inviting him to local coffee shop or out for lunch.
I see him now and we say hello but I don't engage any further or initiate conversation. I still feel hurt for some reason and long for bodily contact. I cannot understand why that is. But I know that for him he just finds his private wanking 'hot'. I do believe that he notices my disengagement but I'm not sure if he really cares.
Just for one moment, stop thinking about yourself. He is married. There are other men. Unmarried, available men. One of those will let you have fun and not ruin other lives.
Get a Grindr he's probably on there or kik. He masterbates there because he doesn't ever have time to himself at home. People here freak out about infidelity like it doesn't exist. Cue the marriage warrior replies. I've fucked so many married men it's redic - they think because it's with a guy it's not cheating. Not true but it's what lets them sleep at night. I would just befriend him - see if the chemistry is real or not. And never make the first move and respect his boundaries. But also keep an eye on his actions. I have one friend who we share crotch stares. It's really hot but I just like that for what it is. Ask him about his wife and life. This post is super old but in case anyone cares to restart the conversation.
Let me save you. It's wrong. He's married. God Jesus blah blah. Promises were made. Cheating is wrong. You're awful for condoning these actions. Leave married people alone. I masterbate with the tears I cry when i think about the person who cheated on me. Im in a open marriage so it's okay because they know, what you do is wrong and you're horrible. Sexual attraction isnt chemistry you must fuck and cum in missionary only.
Let me save you. It's wrong. He's married. God Jesus blah blah. Promises were made. Cheating is wrong. You're awful for condoning these actions. Leave married people alone. I masterbate with the tears I cry when i think about the person who cheated on me. Im in a open marriage so it's okay because they know, what you do is wrong and you're horrible. Sexual attraction isnt chemistry you must fuck and cum in missionary only.
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Try to save yourself the drama and potential heart ache here.
This man is married. He is highly unlikely to leave his marriage for someone, whom he met at a gym.
Good luck to in in finding a more stable situation with a great chance of success.
This man is married. He is highly unlikely to leave his marriage for someone, whom he met at a gym.
Good luck to in in finding a more stable situation with a great chance of success.
