I like this friend of mines....need advise!!!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by asianvirginboy, Mar 26, 2011.

  1. asianvirginboy

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2011
    Messages:
    128
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston, MA
    Verified:
    Photo
    So I'm straight as much as I know but i've been always curious about guys. But i dont really consider myself gay or bi but curious. anyways, i have this guy who's a "friend" of mines that i met at the beginning of this year. i later found out through facebook that he interested in men and women. but he's dated a girl before. he's currently single now. the thing is that i have developed sort of a crush for him. i just cant stop thinking about him. i have dreams about him and i basically fantasize being with him. but i always think about the negative aspects and i would always end up hurt because i know that i would never be able to be with him and there's no way that he would be interested in me. So i need advice and suggestions-how do i know that he's interested in guys and most of all interested in me? do i give him hints? do i flirt with him? what should i do? also , how do i go about asking him out (if i ever have the courage to do so.....i grew up in a conservative family and me being gay is definitely out of the question)?

    i dont mean to offend anyone so please provide any advice or suggestions you might have. if you have similar experiences or stories, please share so i can figure out how i can go about this crush of mines. i really like him and i look for him online and on campus as best i could but i never see him. thank you guys!
     
  2. hardjohnson

    hardjohnson New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2011
    Messages:
    6
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    I have come out to most of my friends about being bi, everyone of them almost immediately hit on me. You say hes a friend whos single and bi... I dont think you have anything to worry about.
     
  3. maxcok

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2009
    Messages:
    7,392
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Elsewhere
    If this is how you feel, I'm curious why you identify yourself here as 50/50 gay/straight?

    As for the rest of your dilemna, it sounds like you've talked yourself out the possibility of anything positive happening with your own negative, defeatist thinking. Why not try to spend some time with him in a casual setting and see if it leads anywhere? Who knows, maybe he's interested too, or maybe he'll be come interested, but you won't know until you put yourself out there. Don't lay all your cards on the table, reduce the pressure, have no expectations -- just get to know each other better and see what develops naturally.

    Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2006
    Messages:
    14,446
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    6,520
    Location:
    United States
    It sounds like he's not really a part of your social circle. Are there ways you could get him more involved in your circle, or ways in which you could become more involved in his? If you almost never see him anywhere, it is unlikely you will be able to hook up.
     
  5. houtx48

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Messages:
    7,095
    Likes Received:
    35
    Gender:
    Male
    mines? Like plural holes in the ground?
     
  6. helgaleena

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2006
    Messages:
    5,663
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Wisconsin USA
    English is not his first language, obviously. It's still a fine question. You say on Facebook he is interested in men as well as women. Now it is up to you to become his friend. It is always better to have sex with a friend, no matter whether it's a man or a woman. Friends are a treasure.

    If you get some sex later, that's a bonus. Just keep your imagination private until some time in the future.
     
  7. AM_092

    AM_092 Guest

    hey, man! Just be confident! Talk more with him and get to know him better. See if you actually have a 'connection' (both ways).
     
Draft saved Draft deleted