This is a massively complicated one. Or at least i think it is. I think men in general (not all of course) are much more insecure now than we've ever been. One of the main things that causes people to be insecure in themselves is change. And there has been an insane amount of change happening for hundreds of years now. From issues of race, gender, sexuality, roles, finance, government, philosophy, psychology, technology and so on.
What was thought to be the case years or even months ago seems to a lot of men to change on a dime. Even more so when it comes to women's rights. At this point i'm going to admit that i know...not think...that the stereotype of women being more overly emotional than men has always and i mean always been a lie. Men have fought wars over egos (current events), murdered people just from being rejected sexually and literally tried to cheat women out of personhood in religion for as long as anyone reading this can remember.
All of that doesn't just go away when a dude is born. All of those things influence us in our daily lives. With a lot of men getting upset over women even beginning to have their own sections of places.
And then there's the expression of sexuality. Or the expression of the desire for sex from women. I would imagine most guys are still hung up on and still think they need the rules of masculinity to define who they are. And when that doesn't work out even a little they have no idea what to do.
So terrified of ambitious women? Yeah, sadly i think that is the case. Mostly because if women are ambitious...where does that leave men? Now of course if we were looking at that from a logical standpoint. Men in those relationships could also be ambitious. We aren't talking logic here though. Not in general.
Most men are raised to see women in very specific lights. When that's challenged in any way those kinds of men's worlds just crumble. Something as simple and as logic as respect could send their worlds crashing into a black hole. And that's because ideals based off of masculinity are often massively illogical and contradictory.
Add in tech along with there being more people in existence equaling more choices and those issues get much worse. Insecurity sky rockets because with more choices and the easier with which those choices can be made the easier it is for people to reject others. People in general become kids in a candy store tripping off acid with a permanent sugar rush.
It might not be that you're choosing or attracting insecure guys. It might just be the numbers game at work here. Where there are just that many more insecure guys out there with many more choices, less logic, more emotion and less influence towards becoming better people in the future. With the fear of change driving most of their actions.
Just some thoughts though.