I messed up...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by luckyinky, May 21, 2007.

  1. luckyinky

    luckyinky New Member

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    So here's an issue... I posted an ad on craigslist. I got a reply back from a kid at my school - (btw Im not out) - and not very sure of my self (thinking he may send it to people or tell people, since it was online) I had sent him a pic of someone else totally different from me (old person I used to fool around w/). We've talked - more than just sending nudes. I kind of like him now, I want to let him know I lied, but am afraid if I do then it'd be the end. I've also kind of contemplated telling him to meet somewhere that's gay oriented, and then me meeting him there "by chance" and moving in to save the day. Or should I just call it off all together?
     
  2. crescendo69

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    'Fessup now and tell the truth; it is always better unless you are trying to hurt someone with the truth. Tell him why you lied like you told us.

    I can't wait to hear others' advice on this.
     
  3. luckyinky

    luckyinky New Member

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    I might - I guess I should add that this kid was kinda in the closet, he said, a few friends know about him, and that I also actually know him. Which makes it kind of weird. I'm concerned - i want to just drop it and let it go maybe.
     
  4. dukey

    dukey New Member

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    The way I see it. If he's found you on craigslist, he's either interested in you or is like you. Either way, no threat.

    Rock on with your bad self.
    dukey
     
  5. B_Christofferb

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    Just tell him the truth. If he really likes you I am sure he would understand - considering he is also in the closet.
     
  6. dreamer20

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    You need to confess and apologize to him about the fake pic. You need to trust one another in order to start a relationship. Tell him that you like him very much and arrange to meet in a public place with him. I hope all goes well. Goodluck lucky.
     
  7. IntoxicatingToxin

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    Yep! Confess!
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Don't be surprised if you get a rejection out of it. He might not be as willing to let bygones be bygones since he's already really careful about his sexual orientation. Live and learn from this lesson, man. Life's too short not to be real about who you are.
     
  9. lemont77

    lemont77 Member

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    Yeah...confess...best idea. But, you know, apologize with style! Make it fun.
     
  10. Freddie53

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    Confess now or let the meeting him outed be a bygone. If you aren't willing to come out of the closet with him, then you have no choice but to let it go and that includes continuing visiting online.

    Either end it or confess.
     
  11. playainda336

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    The truth will set you free.
     
  12. davidjh7

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    Like everybody else said, you have to let him know. What if his physical attraction is to that guy you posted a pic of, and he isn't into how you look? You have conected at some level, or you wouldn't still be talking. He MAY be into you, and MAY forgive your lie, or he may not. Look at it this way---eventually, you will want to meet in person, to take it to a higher level. He will find out eventually--better for both of you to get the lie cleaned up, before either of you get in any deeper, and the hurt gets worse. Consider this a life lesson. If you lie on the net, and intend to meet the guy, the lie will be discovered. If you never intend to meet the person, then you have put a lot of effort into lying to someone who will never mean much to your life. Be upfront about yourself, and who you are. That way, if someone responds to you positively, then you know they are into YOU< not a false image.
     
  13. biguy2738

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    The only thing that I can add to what everybody has said is, you need to ask yourself if you are having doubts about pursuing things because you don't want to be "discovered", it that's the case, I encourage you to look into that a little further...you can't expect to keep part of who you really are hidden for the rest of your life...it doesn't mean that it has to be right now either.

    I personally have learnt to trust my instinct...maybe you should go with your gut.
     
  14. Principessa

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    I agree with biguy2738, davidjh7, playainda336, Freddie53 and many others. I have never been where you are but you need to get a set of cajones dude.

    :confused: What is with the fake pic shit?!? Stop that immediately! That is what is known as a lie; and people do not like being lied to. :mad:
     
  15. novice_btm

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    The only thing that I would add is that you do it tactfully. That is, think about the other guy. He could be getting all excited about finally getting to meet someone, especially if he's closeted, and maybe even growing to like "you", or who he thinks you are. It's tough enough to meet someone when you're either straight, or fully out, but for someone who's closeted, for whatever reason, they're typically apprehensive, on some level, to try meeting people. So, this guy goes, works up the nerve to try it, and has this pulled on him. You can confess, in hopes of making it work, or you can "break up" with confessing, "look, you're a great guy, but I don't think it's gonna work out, because I wasn't truthful about who I am". But you CANNOT just drop this guy with no information, leaving him wondering what HE did "wrong", and even more uptight about trying to meet someone in the future.

    BTW, I agree with njqt, do NOT use fake pix!!! That just sucks on SO many levels.
     
  16. LouisVauban

    LouisVauban New Member

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    I agree with everything above... be true to self and to this guy.

    Explain that you recognized him and that you attend the same school... tell him you were scared and that you were terrified of being outed. He might just understand those feelings. AND APOLOGIZE for leading him on.

    Tell him his secret is safe (for now) and that you have no intention of using the information against him and that you TRULY are attracted to him.

    More than being honest about what you did, be HONEST WITH YOUR FEELINGS!!!!
     
  17. fortiesfun

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    Of all the posters, I am most inclined to agree with Novice_btm, but if you are not willing to come out yet (and there are lots of good reasons why you may not be) then simply tell your friend that it is not him, but that you are still closeted and need to stay that way for a while. (Could be 'cause of family, etc.)

    Unlike others here, though, I don't think your secret is safe with him because he is in the same situation. If it develops at all it is likely that you will be outed eventually, and you should think about that before you go to far with him. I've seen way too many relationships that got warmed up and then one of the participants put an abrupt halt to things because he somehow expected it could all stay secret and freaked out when it couldn't. That sucks even more than being lied to.
     
  18. Kimahri

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    I agree with most....you should fess up now before you go too far along. He should understand about being in the closet and how hard it is to take a step outside of it to meet someone. I remember the beginning for me trying to meet people and sort stuff out.

    Definitely tell him, apologize, explain and ask if things can go on.
     
  19. BIGCOCKsucker

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    Out of curiosity, are you a high school teacher? Does the school district have a policy about staff members having sex with students, even if the students are at, or above, the age of consent? Not that you've had sex with the kid or even will have sex with him. But if you were to go there and somehow it got out, would that be grounds for your expulsion?

    Just playing devil's advocate, or is it angel's advocate, and looking at the worst possible scenario. Highly unlikely, but still a possibility, I suppose. I'd hate to see you get into any trouble for it!
     
  20. DC_DEEP

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    Ah, you beat me to it. I was going to ask "are you both students, and if so, what age?"

    None of that is clear from your original post or from your profile. I would have to know the answers to both of those questions before I could comment further.
     
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