I need a hug

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Jan 2, 2005.

  1. Imported

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    Captin_hung: Hi in my last topic i said how i was trying to get my ex girlfriend back well that really didnt work now she hates me and i dont know why im so confused and scared my greatest fear was to be alone and now its come true she was my best friend and all her friends where mine aswell and now they all hate me for a reason that i dont know i talked to her one day last week and everything seemed ok like we where gonna be friends again but then on new years night i got a text from her saying how she hates me me and that i ruined her night but i dont know what happened im really lost right now, she also blames me for people thinking that shes a slut cause she dumped me and went back to her ex an hour later and she thinks i made everyone hate her i tryed to tell her that noone hates her but she or her friends wont listen to me, i just dont know why shes angry she has her boyfriend she has her best friends she has her group of friends and yet i have nothing i lost my girlfriend i lost my best friend and i lost alot of my friends and the friends that i do have left i just cant connect with them like i can with her so now i have this feeling of emptyness and fear that i cant do anything about well thanx for any input good or bad i just needed to get this of my chest cause i cant talk to anyone where i am thanx for listening
     
  2. Imported

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    Deb: Sorry that this girl has crushed your heart, so I'll give you a big American hug and tell you that everything will work out just fine for you. I'll also give you two pieces of advice...1) Don't chase after someone that wants to make a fool of you. 2) Using punctuation won't hurt you nearly as much as that girl has. :D
     
  3. Imported

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    Laugh about it!: Wow buddy, you dodged a bullet on this one. Consider the way this girl is acting and think if you really want to be together w/her. She messages you on new years eve to blame you because her own actions made her look like a slut?

    Keep in mind that there are a lot of great ppl all over the place and you will find some that do not reject you because of a girl like this.

    I think its good that you posted, I'll bet just getting this off your chest has made you feel a lot better. =]
     
  4. Bluespeedoz

    Bluespeedoz New Member

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    Hi mate, first of all I'm sorry that you have hit a bad time but it may help to know that it happens to us all sometimes. It was smart to get this on paper because it will help you understand why you feel as you do. So well done!! And here's a big hug from the UK too!!

    You don't say what your age is, how long you were with your gf or why she decided to end your relationship and so it is difficult to offer specific advice. It seems that you would like to get back together with your gf but that she is not willing. I get the strong impression you and your former gf have some communication issues. And finally, as well as losing your gf her friends are no longer friends with you.

    Here are my thoughts -

    I think you need to work out what you really wanted from this relationship and why it has ended so that future relationships with girls don't end in similar ways.

    If you really love this girl it might be a good idea to write to her seeking a reconciliation and even if this cannpt be brought about you could perhaps remain friends. However if she doesn't want to play ball there is nothing you can do other than to accept the relationship is over.

    While I can't put my finger on why I get the impression this girl is not ready for the sort of relationship you want. Frankly she sounds a nasty piece of work and I consider that you are well rid of her. Yes you've been hurt - your pride and self-esteem have taken a knock - but I'm sure if you look out there you will find another girl with whom you can establish a loving and stable relationship.

    As for your former gfs friends. Well were they ever really your friends? If they were and have taken sides with her and no longer wish to be friends with you were they really worth having as friends? I don't think so and they are no great loss.

    It's natural to feel sorry for yourself but I don't think you're depressed yet. If you wallow in your misery you will become depressed and then things will seem even worse. So get out there and meet new guys and girls who are worthy of you. It isn't easy but it will be worth it. Good luck mate!!


    :(
     
  5. naughty

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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Captain... oh, captain!


    Darlin' I know you are hurting right now, but what you need to do is jump up in the air and say, "Thank you,God! " for letting that train wreck pass you by! As I said in an earlier post to you, try to let it go one day at a time. The human heart is so fickle. IT can take very little to tip the scale away from a potential relationship. Never allow anyone to disrespect you or make you feel small. When you start getting that feeling from anyone then you know that the person is not someone you need to be around. I know it is a blow to your ego and you feel that your heart is broken or that a bomb landed on you, but it will get better.When people show you who they are it is a gift to you. One day you will look back on this and be so glad that you did not end up with this young woman. Do not let it make you question the good in you, but if there are things that you did (calling too much, not giving her enough space, etc.) learn from it and know that if you knew to do better at the time you would have done so. Hang in there, Sweetheart.

    Naughty
     
  6. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    *hug*, bro.

    As your online compatriot, I'm glad that you lost about 110 pounds of dead weight -- that heinous ex-girlfriend of yours. That was probably the most fortunate thought to have happened to you this New Year's. As I read your posts, I get the feeling that this bitch took more than just her reliable sex and your mutual friends with her; she stole your self-confidence too. It's one thing to understand how much of a bad thing she was to you; it's something different to realize how GOOD you are to someone else, be they man or woman, friend or more than that.

    Give it some thought.

    You've got a hell of a lot to offer someone beyond your dick size, dude. Don't forget that.
     
  7. madame_zora

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    Captain Hung, I remember your last post, and this seemed like an ill-fated relationship back then, perhaps having it come to a conclusion, even a bad one, could be a good thing. We all make mistakes in judgement concerning realtionships, and I agree with the previous posters that the key is to learn from them, and move on. Someone out there will be a better fit for you, but you have to be free to meet them and not tied to someone who isn't fulfilling your needs. Best of luck to you in the coming year.
     
  8. txquis

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    I agree with Madame...
    You also say you dont want to be alone...you wont be.
    Human beings are resiliant. You will bounce back and be with someone better.
    Cheers.
     
  9. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Far be it from me to say anything negative about the stinkin' bitch because you might some day reconcile with the sorry slut and I'll have egg all over my face if I call her names.
     
  10. madame_zora

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    Pecker, you're pretty damned amusing for a Republican!
     
  11. Pene_Negro_Grande

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    Like that old saying - "what does not kill us makes us stronger"...I totally live by that...Totally agree w/what everyone here is saying...Her friends were never your friends really and aren't you glad you know it now...I suggest you try to reconnect w/some of your old friends you had before your girlfriend...Take my word you need someone to connect w/and talk to...I have a friend going through something similar w/his girlfriend cheating on him and the guy is really suicidal over it...I mean I got phone messages late at night when I was asleep and emails about him wanting to kill himself which really makes me kind of upset and sad w/him because he is a very good looking and normally confident type and seems to have everything else going good in his life but he is having a hard time getting over this...All I can say is read my quote I have listed below...The heart is rezealant and this too shall pass...
     
  12. MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK

    MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK Well-Known Member

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    the pain behind your eyes
    IMO, if she was that petty as to go and make an example out of you like that, I wouldn't even waste my time acknowledging her next time you should happen to almost cross paths with her.

    Cap, there are going to be people like that all your life, and only you decide whether or not they deserve a place in your life if they behave like that.

    I wouldn't sweat the stupid little bitch if I were you, it's only talk from here, and if people would rather take her word over yours, then you're better off without her or them.
     
  13. Kimahri

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    Hang tough bro. Things will be better.

    *platonic hug*
     
  14. Bluespeedoz

    Bluespeedoz New Member

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    Hi man

    Another hug from the UK - I hope things are working out for you. Andyes I very much agree with Pecker ditch the fucking bitch because she is not worthy of you. You can do much better! -_-
     
  15. Freddie53

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    Look for the silver lining! Look at the blessing you have received. Aren't you glad you found all of this out now and not after spending 5 or 10 years in a failing marriage that eneded up completely destroying who you are!

    It is hard to see this as a blessing. When bushes are cut back they grow and look so much better later when they come back to life. You have no control over the actions of anyone but yourself.

    So, go to the right place to find any other girl firiend. If you don't like the place where you are seeking and it is just out of character for you then look somewhere else for a new significant person and people that you think of as family and friends.
     
  16. Imported

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    joe22xxx: Hope you're feeling better.
    I can relate really well to what you are saying, especially the part about being alone. Not many guys want to express that fear. It's been a big thing for me recently also.
    I'm starting to understand that my needs can sometimes imprison me.
    Joe
     
  17. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    Try not to worry about it too much, youve got some great people here for you. If she wants to hate you, let her. Its her choice...and her loss. There are plenty of other people who would welcome you into their lives with open arms, for who you are not what you look like, or what you have in your pants. The fact that she went back to her ex an hour later might mean there was some jealousy involved...he may have told her to act that way "if she really loved him" but she has some nerve treating you that way if she loved you in the first place. Youll find someone better, i know that from experience. Just hang in there, things will settle out eventually. As for her blaming you, she's got no right, its actually rediculous, so try not to work yourself up about it too much. It'll all be ok, and im sure as long as everyone else around here is here, everyone will make sure it's alright. Like freddie said, its better now than in 5 years of marriage, where it would be complicated and all. At least now you have the time to find that special someone. Dont worry. With every end there is a new beginning! So with all due respect, ::hug::
     
  18. Freddie53

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    Just another note to let you know I have been thinking about you. Here is a big hug from me as well.
    Understand this about yourself. It is hell separating your emotional feelings from your intellectual feelings. Sure, you agree with everyone who posted. But emotionally you are still attached to this girl. It takes time and sometimes lots of it to move on. The best way to move on is to look for a new interest. No, you won't be as happy with your new interest. But do it anyway. It can be another relationship, but that might not be fair to the other person as long as emotionally you are tied to this girl.

    So, look around. Share your feelings with your true friends. Shed tears when you need to and come to us for as many hugs as you need. There is nothing that beats a true hug of friendship from someone who really cares what happens to you. Find those people. Count us in as a carying family.
     
  19. madame_zora

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    Freddie, you just can't help but be cool, even in your typos! I read that last sentence, and I know your meant "caring family", but "carrying family" is just so appropriate. That's what friends do, we carry each other through the quagmires until it's safe to touch ground again. Captain Hung, I hope you are getting the support you wanted when you made this incredibly honest post. The things that have sprung up since should surely let you know that you are not alone, we are all dealing with difficulties, and it is the emotionally strong who ask for help, not the weak. Thanks for opening up to us, it's been really great around here.
     
  20. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    Captain Hung, it is her loss babe... Smile and move on. Life will offer you more in the long run, trust me...

    And besides, Kiwi's are a commodity that a lot of women search out! ;)

    <<<HUGS>>>> babe
     
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