I need a second opinion and/or advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by shadow27, Dec 17, 2010.

  1. shadow27

    shadow27 New Member

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    I dont know what to make of this guy and our conversations. I would love a second opinion.
    Are Y'all ready for a long story? Here goes.

    I work retail and this guy came into my store. I was being myself and greeting him and i noticed that he was extremely hot. So i decided to flirt a bit. well we talked for an hour and fifteen (off and on as i was working) and at one point he asks for my help in the dressing room. He proceeds to take his shirt off not once or twice but four times with me drooling there in the door. The only problem, i cant tell if he is gay or not (bad gaydar). After he leaves im on cloud nine. Two weeks roll by and he comes in again. We talk for 45 minutes this time, i decided to ask him out, see where he lands. He tells me he needs to study for a test but then promises to come back. He is a medicine major and has a lot on his plate. I dont see him for three weeks.
    he comes in tonight and we talk for 10 minutes. He asks where i was and i let him know (schedules didnt line up right) i ask what are his plans now that he is done with finals, he tells me he is going home for christmas break and im pulled away by a different customer. I was going to go ask him out again (he has no excuse this time so i felt more confident) and i see him almost running out the door.

    I have no clue how to understand what is going on. Am i completely reading this wrong or is it not my connection but something with him? At one time i remembered how nervous i was asking him out and wondered if it was vice versa. Any words of wisdom?
     
  2. salter

    salter Active Member

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    Wait and see if he comes back again. Maybe the fact that he was really going to have to say yes scared him off. What do you have to lose anyway unless you jump him in public and he beats you up. So don't jump him in public
     
  3. Tremaine

    Tremaine Active Member

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    Me thinks that he is very interested in you, it is another thing whether he will take it to the next stage. You have nothing to loose and everything to gain. I would say that he keeps returning and you keep talking - for an extended period says that he is not merely passing the time of day. You may have to wait until the hols are over but hey you could be in for one hell of a new year's pressie.
     
  4. guynmn

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    I don't know many str8 guys who keep going back to have longer than typical conversation like that. Especially ones involving comparing schedules to go out together. Did he buy/shop when he came back or make a bees line for you? Because from reading it sounds like the only reason he came back twice was to talk to you.
     
  5. shadow27

    shadow27 New Member

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    OK so update...
    i asked him out...2 weeks ago...he didnt show up or call...so i waited...
    He texted me tonight...his first comment..."hey, so you should know...im not gay"
    WHAT THE HELL! Who the hell does that! Im so pissed! He was hot and flirting and he didnt seem to mind that i kept it up.
    So now im back to nothing. Win.

    Thanks for all the help guys, you are awesome for even responding and helping!
     
  6. DQSundae

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    Sounds like a real prick. It's called narcissism. He is in love with himself and loves the attention he gets from others. Oh well, his loss. Move on.
     
  7. sexplease

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    no one know where cupids arrow will strike.... or where it won't.
     
  8. Zeb0014

    Zeb0014 New Member

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    I actually can relate to the guy, unfortunately. I no longer do this, but when I was in my late teens/early twenties...I would do almost the exact same thing. I would notice some guy checking me out and I would flirt back a bit, but not too much, then withdraw with him wanting more. I would keep flirting periodically until things got too serious, and then I would blow my cover and let him know that I wasn't really into guys. (Also, at this point in my life I was about 96% straight / 4% gay flirting). As a aged a little more, I came to terms of how wrong I was in leading guys on. I was just being an attention whore and I knew it. So, I stopped leading guys on, got married to my beautiful wife, and opened up a bit to where I consider myself sort of bi....meaning I haven't really had any sexual experiences with guys, but I sometimes fantasize about it. I am attracted to men, but my wife is really my main preference and really all I need.
     
  9. josh20hung

    josh20hung Active Member

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    maybe this is his first time being with another man and he's nervous .. if he's not gay be happy that you didnt waste any more time .. if he actually is .. he'll be back
     
  10. D_Harry Erik Shun

    D_Harry Erik Shun New Member

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    I'm sorry but I do not believe someone can be sort of bi, or sort of straight. When it comes to sexual preference there is no sort of about it. People put too much emphasis on labels. Is it so hard to be true to one's owns self and to others. The guy the op refers to is either lying to himself or to him.
    Yes there will always be cock teasers, tease me once, have your fun; tease me twice never. Count your blessings that this lead to nothing more than flirtation do not loose sleep over it. Should he show up again at your place of work have another clerk serve him and keep your distance or you will end up hurt.
     
  11. Stephenmass

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    Let's say he is not gay OR he has thoughts about a gay experience but is afraid to experience his thoughts in real life. He tell you up front when you are about to go out outside the store he is not gay. Is there something wrong with a straight guy befriending a gay guy where they both respect each others boundaries? You never know, he at the least could become a good friend, or if he gets comfortable around you and wants to take his (if he is having them) thoughts to a REAL level with you, is that good enough for you? Can you wait not knowing if he just wants to be friends? Can you accept his straightness as a str8 male and respect his boundary? What he could be afraid of is looking at it as a hook up. He doesn't want to just meet, drop em, get off and leave. Who knows? I suppose what the whole thing depends on is if you would be willing to accept just a possible good platonic friendship without it going further.
     
  12. borntobeking

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    Stephenmass makes a good point. It could very well be a platonic friendship and he was just letting you know that he is not gay so that there is no confusion. However gay or straight I do think it was rude of him to agree to go out with you and then not show up or call. Common courtesy should be expected regardless of the sexual orientation.
     
  13. Stephenmass

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    I would have said the same thing BTBK except I forgot to include it when I answered him. You are 100% correct. It is NEVER acceptable to stand up anybody if you promise to be there.
     
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