I need advice about a sexless marriage

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by mayberry, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. mayberry

    mayberry New Member

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    There are other things that can stop sex in a marriage besides low libido ! My wife has multple medical issues that prevent ALL types of sex! 1. she has a jaw problem that prevents oral sex 2. her hips have issues that prevent weight and jostling 3. she has the equivalent of varicose veins and fibromaliga in her vagina that prevents penetration 4. her mental state is counterproductive to having sex! The sad part is it sounds like her body wasn't built for sex, but the opposite is true! 1. she had an orgasm every time with penetration alone! 2. she is a female ejaculator 3. she has multple orgasms 4, she has a libido like a man. We are getting money and insurance together for her multiple surgeries needed just to have sex! I took a 20% pay and benefits cut at work to keep my job, so its taking YEARS to get this done! I'm not going to cheat when its not her fault! But im goin nuts! It looks like another year at least! any advice would be appreciated :smile:
     
  2. D_Likima_Taint

    D_Likima_Taint Account Disabled

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    Too be blunt, you've got hands. use 'em.
     
  3. mayberry

    mayberry New Member

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    Oh yeah about using my hands! I am now a master masturbater! Belive me! I know technics that give me screaming orgasms that leave me trembling and sweaty! I would like to make love to my wife also! I have a family to think of, and m young son is older now and is seeing that something is wrong!
     
  4. helgaleena

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    Her on top positions.

    Have her masturbate you.

    Do 'strip show' for each other.

    See an acupuncturist.

    Eat sauerkraut, it is very good for your bones. If it's too salty only eat a tiny bit at a time.

    You obviously love her very much and she needs to realize exactly how much. If she can take a walk every day it will help her outlook immensely.
     
    #4 helgaleena, Jan 25, 2010
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2010
  5. cbrmale

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    Your wife's libido sounds like something worth waiting for, but I offer one alternative. Because of her hips, I suggest gentle anal sex, and anal sex is best done gently in any case. My wife has a raging libido, and when she was recovering from an operation we had sex this way a few times, because she really wanted to feel me inside her but we had to wait a few weeks before I could penetrate her vaginally. So she lay on her side, I lay behind her spoons-like, and voila! Gentle thrusting, and it was all good.

    One way to build up to anal sex is to start with butt plugs, gradually working up to a larger size. There's a lot of information around on anal sex, but usually it's just a case of kissing and caressing and relaxing and building desire, using one, two and then three lubed fingers, and then lubed penis pressed slowly while the woman pushes out. I'm lucky in that my glans is smaller than my shaft, so my initial penetration is not too hard.

    Is there anyway that some change can be brought to healthcare in the US? Without getting preachy, the operations you are saving for and waiting for would have been done by now in my country. So while we have waiting lists for non-emergency elective surgery, non-emergency procedures generally get done a few months after you see a specialist and the specialist schedules them. I think this is what your President is aiming for, and yet seems to be doomed to failure. Is there any way that people like yourselves can get together and lobby for change, rather than having the social and political process hijacked by private health insurance funds who want the status quo to remain?
     
  6. B_jeepguy2

    B_jeepguy2 New Member

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    Maybe a mistress?
     
  7. California07

    California07 New Member

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    How about you giving her oral and maybe some sex toys that she can use on you?
     
  8. dolfette

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    fleshlight.
     
  9. Iceman2215

    Iceman2215 New Member

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    Sorry to hear about your problem!! I know the feeling of wanting to be intimate...but not being able to!!! Really sucks!! good luck!

    I
     
  10. fantasychick

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    id suggest looking into buying some sex toys. the range today is so large that your sure to find something specifically to you and your wife's tastes and needs.

    it sound like you two love each other alot, i hope it all goes well for you :)
     
  11. 4socratease

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    your situation is not unlike mine----multiple medical issues that my wife suffers from and one of them is non-existent libido. My wife has encouraged me to seek out partners, but I have a resistence to changing the relationship in ways that would diminish or destroy the intimacy that still exists---also, she is an excellent cock-sucker (better than my techniques) and I love to rub her body with lotion, especially her ass. She is the kindest woman I know and is trying hard to resolve her issues and regain a healthy libido, so I don't want to diminish her efforts by playing outside the home. Also, be satisfied with your solo sex and get creative----I probably would not have acquired special skills such as autofellatio had my wife's libido been normal. She knows I have a very stron sex drive and supports whatever healthy sex practices I engage in. Good luck!!!
     
  12. mayberry

    mayberry New Member

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    I think the sex toys ideas will help! Thanks everyone for the advice! Like I originally posted. Her libido is fine , We think thats also a problem mentally for her because she wants sex as much as I do but physically cant so we don't do anything because it just frustrates both of us. I have seen 3 professionals concerning our issues and all I hear is low libido, which in this scenario is inaccurate! I am now trying a "cancer" help group because I cant find a support group for our issues.
     
  13. dolfette

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    touching and heart breaking at the same time.

    the sacrifices and efforts people will make for someone they truly love...
     
  14. pcghabsy

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    Ouch, I feel your pain and applaud you for sticking with the one you love. It is good to know that withina year things will be normal.. .But since you have waited this long... a year won't hurt!

    Till then there are few good suggestions in this thread, mutual masturbation can also help you folks out.
     
  15. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I agree with fantasy chick. You must go to the store together and choose things you each like. There are very small toys for woman (they are wonderful!! all mine are small, but it's simply by choice) that I think she could enjoy. Make sure you get some lube for her! Maybe you could also try helping her choose some pretty clothing to make her feel sexy? Do not forget the accessories (stockings, jewlery, washable markers, AND new shoes only for at home! It warms my heart to note that you love your wife and are willing to make sacrifices to keep her!!!!! You're def. One of the good ones in my book. Best wishes for many happy endings! :)UOTE=fantasychick;2568023]id suggest looking into buying some sex toys. the range today is so large that your sure to find something specifically to you and your wife's tastes and needs.

    it sound like you two love each other alot, i hope it all goes well for you :)[/QUOTE]
     
  16. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    My wife has encouraged me to seek out partners, but I have a resistence to changing the relationship in ways that would diminish or destroy the intimacy that still exists--also, and I love to rub her body with lotion, especially her ass. She is the kindest woman I know and is trying hard to resolve her issues and regain a healthy libido, so I don't want to diminish her efforts by playing outside the home. Also, be satisfied with your solo sex and get creative----I probably would not have acquired special skills such as autofellatio had my wife's libido been normal. She knows I have a very stron sex drive and supports whatever healthy sex practices I engage in. Good luck!!![/QUOTE]

    Yoga baby, you are the perfect person to offer him advice. You neglected to mention your yoga practice as a special skill. :)
     
  17. marriedasian

    marriedasian Member

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    hang in there bud, sex is a lot of things... oral, anal, touching, stripping, etc. take everyone's advice to heart and practice some of them. sounds like the storm is almost over.

    enjoy each other for what you both can do now and plan for the future when u can do more.
     
  18. vince

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    You both have hands and fingers and lips and tongues. Plus brains with horny mindsets. That's still quite a sexual arsenal! I suggest you explore ways to have sexual fun that do not involve her vagina. If you don't know how to start, there are books and professional counselors available.

    Or.. become a Mormon. :cool:
     
  19. trackdude

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    Cool, never heard of that. Would you happen to know how this works, considering it has a negligible calcium content?
     
  20. dolfette

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    avoid coke. that shit actually causes lowering in bone density.
     
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