I need advice about my fuck buddy agreement

[D_Jared Padalicki]

Yeah, it was wrong to go back, to be honest, quite stupid to go in the same pattern again. Good luck

 

[Cougar]

haha.....he sweet talked you because he was horny and you beleived him!

ummmm, can't you see that he just wants sex and treats you badly to hold you at bay?

You are way to "emotionally invested" in this guy (it's the plague of young womens emotions as well as way too many older women)

 

[D_Eliassaph Daniell Goosegarden Jr]

You're involved. He isn't. It's just that simple. So it's only a "fuck BUDDY" arrangement for him. For you it's a relationship but it's only one-sided. Lose him!!

 

[schwulboy1989]

Please don't take this the wrong way. This is going to sound harsh, but believe me, honey, it's what you need right now.

How old are the two of you? I know kindergartners who are more mature than the two of you. I don't even remotely understand how you can possibly think that this guy is worth dealing with. He belittles you and treats you like SHIT because he doesn't care about you. AT ALL. and you refuse to see what's in front of you because it's not what you want and you seem to have this delusion that people change. People don't just wake up and *poof* into a new person. they have to genuinely WANT to change, and HONEY!!! He does not care enough about you to want to change for you. You should have taken the first subtle changes (ie- when he started wanting you to call before you came over and whatnot) as hints that this was all about him and not about you.

Here's what you're gonna do now. You're going to take what dignity he left you, and you're going to hold your head high and grow a little self respect. And you're gonna walk away. Leave him behind, and don't look back. If he starts talking to you, ignore him. Your little fights that you were talking about in your most recent post are some of the most immature things i have ever heard. And making a reference to something that you "could have said" is bullshit, and is just as bad as actually saying it. It's just passive aggressive in a manner that allows the person who said to be like "i never said it"...

and then you pull out the "high and mighty" card. HONEY. you had a fuck buddy. who didn't even like you. why are you feeding into his arguments? I could sit here and list the things that are wrong with what both of you said, but I feel at this point, it would be redundant.

Here's why I think that. You're probably going to read this message, and get offended because "i don't know you" and you're going to tell me how you're better than him, and how you're right, and how you don't need to be spoken to like this, and blah blah blah.

Here's the deal. I don't care how you feel about what I've said. I care that you keep putting yourself in a dangerous and self-harming situation, and I want you to understand that if you keep letting him into your life, things are only going to get worse. He seems to be mentally unstable, and violent, and a douchebag. Why on EARTH would you want him in your life?

Grow some ACTUAL self respect (as opposed to the fake self respect you feigned while arguing with him) and let it go. From what I can tell, you are a beautiful young woman, and you've got a long life ahead of you. Don't waste it on this asshole.

-Chris

 

[cdog204]

Rommette: This is a relationship that needs to end. He doesn't respect you, and you giving him unfettered access to your body just serves to reinforce this even though you like that part.

I found the 'fuck buddy' concept was impossible to manage while I was in college because everyone knows everyone. I think you need a certain level of anonymity for the 'fuck buddy' thing to work out.

 

[EboniGoddess]

Chris, I didn't take it the wrong way. I understand what you said. I didn't talk to him for a month because of the way he treated me. It was HIM that approached me to be friends again. I listed my demands and he agreed. After that the sex continued. I understand what you're saying and im not dealing with him again. Maybe as friends only. That is as far as it will ever go. For me sex is bonding. Our situation was supposed to be simular to a relationship minus the relationship. We agreed to only have sex with each other. It was to be unprotected (if we felt like it). It also was supposed to only last until we were close to being in a relationship with someone else or could possibly be about to have sex with someone in a week time frame. Therefor we agreed that having sex with someone while the agreement was on was considered cheating. This agreement has been going on for over a yr. 14 months to be exact. I knew him for 3 years.

Like I said before, for me sex is bonding. There is somewhat of an emotional attachment for me when I'm having sex someone I know so well. Its not like a one night stand. We knew each other and well. We hung out often. So when we had sex I did feel emotionally connected to him. I don't mean as if I want more from him and in an actual bf gf type of thing....its that I sort of cared for him because of the emotional attachement of sex. I would never have said the things he said to me. I'm not that hurtful. I care about people's feelings (some would say too much).

Here's reality for me. We have friends in common so its not that we can avoid each other. That's out of the question. But, if we eventually became friends again and he treated me like shit I could say 'fuck you' and not feel so bad (though I probably would still feel somewhat bad). Its the emotional attachment that has me the way I am.

 

[wallyj84]

God, this is still going on? Jesus.

 

[YourPrinceAwaits]

Hello, I read about your delemia. Sorry to hear your going through the roller coaster ride with this fuck-buddy/somewhat of a boyfriend of yours. I would have to say that no your not in a relationship with this person so keep that thought in focus. That focus is your pivot point to base your decisions upon. Second you need to be in-sync with 'how do you feel when your around him?' You need to be around people that make you feel good and happy not sad and upset. Third is your self respect...if you like yourself and have respect for yourself you need to end it. Keep in mind that when people see you take a stand for yourself and for what is right they will respect you that much more. With that respect your gain from others will pay off 10 fold in the long run since you stood up for what you believe in and took a hit (lose) to regain self. When you least expect it that right person will walk into your life and you will be so happy...and so much better of for it. Check this guy off as 'a memory' and move on. View him as a memory and life experience. You will be surprised on how much better you will feel. Hang in there kid-o. Joe from arizona.

 

[chadstallion]

God, this is still going on? Jesus.

lol; thought the same.
I consider my fuck buddies as guys that are great to play with but make it a point not to get involved with their personal lives. As long as they like to suck dick and fuck and are around when its convenient, its all good for me.

 

[ZOS23xy]

He isn't your boyfriend - fuck him and go home.
If he's holding out? Find someone else to fuck.

Don't play games.

I'd desire a fuck buddy myself, but a lack of time and outlet gets in the way. And with a person like this I'd want at least some respect and concern, even if, in the long run, it would not be love. It could be a nice smirking friendship.

Don't play games, and don't use his xBox either. Don't the one at the house who is the target of a game.

 

[Florida Boy]

Fuck-Buddies, is just that. You two are not on the same page. An fb agreement may have been your original agreement, however, somewhere it changes. You became involced. He didn't. What you are in is a bad relationship. View it as such and then get out.

 

[Empathizer]

I think what's happening here is this: this guy used to like you or at least treat you well as a friend. Then, he started to fuck you. Now, you've hinted that "he found God" at some points and stopped having sex. Clearly, he has a conflict between his religious beliefs and his penis. So, after having sex, his guilt (or confusion or whatever) overwhelms him and it interferes with his ability to treat you well. In other words, he takes out his guilt and regret for his sexual needs upon you, his fuck buddy. It is possible a discussion with him on this level may soften his post-coital reaction...but it may be too deep-seated to be easily resolved.

In the end, you should NEVER have to stay in any kind of relationship in which you are not treated with respect. It doesn't matter if it is between you and your doctor, you and a teacher, you and the grocery clerk...or you and your fuck buddy. No orgasm is worth that kind of treatment. If you can't resolve it, find another (or more than one!) fuck buddy. For women (and especially one who looks like you), it should be no problem satisfying that particular itch.

Guilt, my ass!

he's fucking someone else on Sundays, and wants an excuse to send her away!

Like someone else said, "fuckbuddy" = "fuck" + "buddy".

Without the second part of the word, you'rejust getting fucked.

 

[EboniGoddess]

ok guys.....we knew each other and hung out as friends for 2 years before the sex started so i guess that would be friends with benefits. We continued to hang out together after the sex.

Its hard to aviod him. On xbox live I was in a party with him and my mutual friends. Last time he treated me like shit I didnt talk to him for a month UNTIL he contacted me. I had let him go. I figured that since I listed my demands and he accepted I would be treated better. He even has our mutual friends take his side...friends that aren't even there are telling me stuff he lied about and saying that "he wouldn't lie so i don't believe you". This is bs. I'll let him go out of my life and as before i wont say anything to him again

 

[dolfette]

leopards don't change their spots.
not unless something traumatic/dramatic & life changing occurs.
be civil to them & don't try to get their pals on your side.
but don't give them an inch. ever.