I need advice about my fuck buddy agreement

[beachbum1971]

You shouldn't let anyone mistreat you. There are plenty more men out there that would treat you better. I'd use a toy until you found one.

 

[islandman]

Rommette,
*** SMACK ***
Don’t say anything to him!
***SMACK***
Move On!
***SMACK***
Love Yourself First
***SMACK***
***SMACK***
&
***SMACK***
Ok, that almost sounds abusive.
Do we have your attention now?

Babe, it’s an unhealthy environment and you need to love yourself first.
Seriously!
Best of luck to you Rommette – Stay Strong and keep us posted babe.

 

[dolfette]

truth.
you don't need to explain, tell, apologise.
just don't go round there. don't call him.
and when he asks tell him it's just not working for you.
act like a doormat and you'll be treated like one.

 

[musclemonkey5]

You said he gets very mad when you show up unexpectedly. Have you considered he is not being monogamous with you and is afraid you will catch him with a girl (or guy!). Perhaps James is more than his friend, and perhaps they make jokes about you being his whore, that being why they laugh at you.

 

[EboniGoddess]

ok everyone....i did it. I did it over instant messenger. I tried to reason with him....I really did but the asshole in him started to come out. He said 'im not going to change the way I act...you either deal with it or and maybe start acting differently r you dont.. I don't really care cuz im not changing for you."

I then said "youre often rude and disrespectful" and guess what his response was? "But that's who I am". Wow.....he's admitting he's an asshole. He said "if you dont like how i treat you then you must be doing something to make me treat you like that". So in other words its my fault. I either held a gun to his head and told him to be mean and nasty or I left him not choice. Instead of him taking responsibilities for his actions he puts the blame on me.

I then figure that the conversation wasn't going in the direction that I had hoped and decided that he sealed the deal on me ending it. I told him I think that we should just be friends so that things can go back to the way it was and he said "im still gonna treat you the same whether we have sex or not. Aint shit gonna change...thats why I think its funny". So then I start crying. He said he doesn't care whether we fuck or not and then he started saying he knows me better than I know myself. I then said 'go fuck yourself......or maybe James. You seem to favor him more than me". And that was it. It was so hard and im stuck here typing this stuff to you all crying. Its almost 1 am....I should be sleep but now can I after this?

 

[EboniGoddess]

I can't sleep...im so tempted to instant message him back and tell him im sorry for everything I said

 

[D_Hepsibah Salmonbreath]

goodness rom let him go end it soon and get someone that will be as good a buddy when your out of the bedroom. now if you want i volenteir for the position and will be just fine and dandy with travling to you. but yeah let him go and move on.

 

[EboniGoddess]

Its so hard to move on cause he was a friends also. We met when we were 18 and we're 21 now

 

[Pendlum]

If he admits that he is an asshole in nature, and you never experienced this side until now, he was lying to you when you became friends, so your friend is his lie, not him. So all you are really losing is a lie, which seems to be already lost since he is in fact an asshole now.

So just drop him, maybe talk to an old friend instead, make new friends. Just don't give a shit about him. Focus on making yourself feel better without him involved at all.

Time != good friend.

 

[dolfette]

for fucks sake, girly, get a bloody grip!
he's right, you're inviting him to treat you like shit.
you want to say sorry to him now??

utterly wet.

 

[dirk2d]

I can't sleep...im so tempted to instant message him back and tell him im sorry for everything I said

DO NOT DO THAT!!!!! If you do he'll just treat you worse because he thinks he can get away with anything now, and it looks like he probably can. Your dignity is worth more than a fuck, respect yourself. Cut all ties, If you don't leave now you never will.

Re-read this thread as if its someone else in your position, like its your best friend being fucked over by this guy. Hope you understand what's going on before its too late, I can't really say any more than what's already been said by others.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I can't sleep...im so tempted to instant message him back and tell him im sorry for everything I said

Why apologize? Because you think that will change things? HE JUST ADMITTED THAT THINGS WILL NOT CHANGE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS!!!

You will forever be treated like shit, and he could care less. ITS OVER. Its been over. But you are young so mabey it is a good idea to learn the hard way.

Go ahead, try to change him. And keep posting updates. At some point, we will lose ALL sympathy for you on this issue and then just be entertained by your misery. Harsh? Yes, but you are the one writting the jokes now. And if you choose to be a joke, the only thing left to do is laugh at you. Why? Because you will not listen to all the wonderful advice given to you here by a lot of wise people. It is easier for you to try to change him then to find a better situation for yourself. That is just plain lazy.

 

[Ethyl]

They're called bad habits for a reason. Drop him. Hard, fast, now.

 

[dolfette]

this could be a turning point in your life.
in 5 years time do you want to be sitting in ER saying, ''but i really love him and he promised it won't happen again!'' as they sew your face back together and set your wrist?
because right now that's the direction you're heading. you're an open invitation to abusers. this guy only verbally abuses you...how far will the next one go?

get therapy. seriously.

 

[likitisplit]

i voted you leave his ignorant, insecure, immature, stupid, redneck ass...and wanted to add, leave him...after you get him drunk, sew him up in a sheet and go through about six broom sticks on and in his ass. please never let the low lifes abuse you ladies like that. please!

 

[Principessa]

Well, it seems all of you feel the exact same way. I should let him go. But then i'll be forced to only rely on my vibrator (which I suspect is on its way out). I need to let him go but.......(don't get mad)......I don't know how to tell him. Often times guys are very good talkers. I've had guys who I was steaming mad at and when I confront them my whole rehearsed speech goes out the door and in fact by the end of the conversation i'm apoligizing to him.
Country guy yes I do want genuine advice from everyone. Its so easy for all of you to say "drop him" or "let him go" but its much harder for me to be able to do it in real life

He knows I like sex so he knows how to get what he wants from me. I wanna end it by explaining myself in a way that I leave no other alternatives or a loophole for us to continue to have sex. This shouldn't be this hard. I'm an optimistic so I always hope that he will change

Break up in an e-mail. I know that sounds harsh or perhaps unfeeling; but if you can't do it face-to-face or on the phone, then e-mail is the next best thing. :yup: Having been dumped once via e-mail I can tell you that once over the anger, it hurts like hell. However, there will be no question in the recipients mind that it is over.

FWIW: Ain't nothing wrong with a vibrator! :biggrin1: They never hurt your feelings, complain about your ass being to big, or your boobs to small, and they don't care if you can deep throat.

 

[EboniGoddess]

DO NOT DO THAT!!!!! If you do he'll just treat you worse because he thinks he can get away with anything now, and it looks like he probably can. Your dignity is worth more than a fuck, respect yourself. Cut all ties, If you don't leave now you never will.

Re-read this thread as if its someone else in your position, like its your best friend being fucked over by this guy. Hope you understand what's going on before its too late, I can't really say any more than what's already been said by others.

I figured that would happen so I didn't. I considered him a very good friend that's all.

this could be a turning point in your life.
in 5 years time do you want to be sitting in ER saying, ''but i really love him and he promised it won't happen again!'' as they sew your face back together and set your wrist?
because right now that's the direction you're heading. you're an open invitation to abusers. this guy only verbally abuses you...how far will the next one go?

get therapy. seriously.

Well no, we're fuck buddies. That's it. I would never let a guy beat me up.

 

[dolfette]

Well no, we're fuck buddies. That's it. I would never let a guy beat me up.

that's what all young women say!
but somehow lots of them end up living that life.
you let a man emotionally abuse you. and you wanted to say sorry.
that's where it starts. the top of the slippery slope.

you really do need to fix this appeasement issue you have,
before it fucks up your life big time.
and i'm not saying that to be a bitch.
i'm saying it because i've seen it happen.

the world is full of bullies.
you need to learn how to deal with them.

 

[EboniGoddess]

It seems to me that all men are assholes. Every guy I've dated (except one) has been an asshole. I wish I could hurry up through the next couple of years, find my soulmate and get married. I'm starting to really hate guys. Maybe I shouldn't have sex with men anymore. (Don't take that as an indication im going all lesbian on all of you). I'd rather fuck my vibrator forever and get a sperm donor to help me have kids. Then i'll adapt another kid or two. Why must guys be assholes? I wish I could just fast forward I swear

 

[dolfette]

no, there are plenty of nice guys.
they respect their women and can't understand why beautiful girls like you are dating arseholes.
but there's something in you that attracts and is attractive to bullies. you just need to quit men until you figure it out.

no more rewarding bad behaviour!