I need advice about my hot ass boyfriend

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by iwantc2c, Dec 22, 2011.

  1. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    Hey i'm not sure if this has been posted yet but here i go. I met this guy 2 or 3 weeks ago and he was nothing but sweet the entire time. he kept complimenting me and saying how nice and sweet i was and he kept calling me hot cuz he said i was his type.three days after he asked me out and i couldn't handle it i cried. for those of you who are either moderate gleeks or hardcore gleeks, i felt like Shannon Beiste when Couter Menkins asked her out, ?He is slender bodied, chiseled looks, amazingly funny and hot as hell and i'm 5'4 220 pounds, it just felt like i was getting played. so right now i'm not putting my whole heart out there just in fear that this maybe some sick joke and i don't want to get hurt. but i really like him and i don't want to lose him just because he might feel my heart isn't in the relationship. now i know some of you are thinking, wow this guy has issues, well yes, i never feel good enough or never had a sense of self worth because growing up and up until now, my mom still treats me and isn't afraid to say, how everything i do is not enough or that i mess up all the time or there's always something. so now i have self esteem problems, so my question is, are there actual hot bodies guys out there who want to hook up with chubby guys???(i should clear up that i'm not 220 pounds of pure fat, i'm 19 years old and i worked out since 15 so i have decently broad shoulders. so i'd say stocky?!?!?!) or am i actually a victim of horrible joke. i want to be able to make a decision of whether i give him my heart or not before it's too late. HELP ME:eek:
     
  2. vitaman

    vitaman New Member

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    The answer to your question is yes. There are hot muscular thin guys who are genuinely interested in chubby or stocky guys. More than you would expect. Often these type of guys are completely turned off by other guys that look like themselves. I have several close friends who prefer chubby guys and I have no reason to doubt their sincerity and they have been consistend in this preference for years. So, don't assume that just because you have low self esteem that others won't hold you in high esteem.
     
  3. pangfling

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    dont jump to conclusions right away. dont be too harsh on yourself either. different people like different stuff, you know. i, for one, find other "chubby" guys attractive though im skinny as hell :) (can you post a pic or two of yourself?)

    also, try to get to know him some more. he might be sincere about how he feels for you and the only way to find that out is to risk getting hurt in the process..
     
    #3 pangfling, Dec 22, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2011
  4. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    i guess that makes sense. here is a pic
     

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  5. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    thanks so much vitaman i see where you're coming from, i totally do, i just don't know how to shake off these issues
     
  6. ColonialBoy

    ColonialBoy Member

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    You're the type I would go for, stocky/muscular & broad shoulders, not chubby.

    Now hit the gym HARD & go for this guy!
     
  7. houtx48

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    youth is wasted on the young..........when you're young you are to dumb to know what the world has to offer I'm guessing that's why life has to beat you up a bit to get you a tad smarter.
     
  8. ThePipe

    ThePipe Member

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    Um.....my advice to you really is to get therapy before you try to start dating. Your self hate issues will sabotage the relationship and you'll be lookin for him to "complete you" or "fix you" and you won't actually be experiencing the relationship in its purity, you'll be reactionary always as a result of questioning yourself.

    Please don't end up being one of those people that can't function because of their parents. You have to overcome that and love yourself more. You also need to get away from mother. She's toxic.
     
  9. BigInBellevue

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    Give it a chance. Just don't give your heart completely until you are sure. And don't under rate yourself. There is someone for everyone out there. There are even young guys who like ME!
     
  10. B_Sweetcar

    B_Sweetcar New Member

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    I totally agree with what everyone has said. You never know how anyone see you, we just have our own impressions of what we are like.

    I'm in a similar situation. I have a black boy friend who is TOTALLY different from me physically, but he LOVES having sex with me. He's athletic, handsome and popular with both sexes. I'm kinda fat, bald and hairy. To me, I CANN'T imagine how he could even be interested in me!??

    Of course he says I know how to do the things to turn him on better than anyone else and he finds my hair sexually stimulating when I rub it against him.

    I have another close friend and again, he really loves me. I feel the same way toward him. In this case, neither one of us is particularly attractive physically, it's just that we don't look at each other that way. When I see him, what I see is LOVE, I don't even care what he looks like and I told him so.

    Anyway, its food for thought!
     
  11. Charles Finn

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    ok fine i am 44 but since i was 15 i love love love stocky guys
     
  12. B_debonair87

    B_debonair87 New Member

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    sorry can't relate.

    i'm tall and at one point had a stocky build (mostly throughout high school because i played football) and still felt that i was a hot piece of ass
     
  13. StormfrontFL

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    I have to agree. You need to deal with your issues before you'll ever be able to have a successful relationship. I've been where you are. I had to learn to like myself before I could be open to the idea that someone else could like me too. By liking myself I discovered that I could survive if a relationship fell apart.

    Take it slow with the guy. Don't allow yourself to fall for him. In time you will be able to see whether or not his feelings for you are genuine.
     
  14. Smaccoms

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    This guy asks for advice about his self-esteem issues, and your only comment is how much of a stud you think you are? This makes no sense to me...:confused:
     
  15. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    i appreciate everyone's input and i also appreciate everyone having my back with the above comment and i guess debonair87 was just lucky to have an upbringing like mine or maybe just looks at problems and issues differently helping him to hold himself in high esteem, if anything i'm jealous. but back to the original point, i guess it wouldn't hurt to see a shrink and see if they can help iron out my issues. i really don't wanna screw this up cuz he seems very comfortable and confident holding my hand in public and telling me how much he cares about me and calles me nicknames like honey and sweety and all i can think about is, does he really?? i wanna stop this idiotic habit:mad:
     
  16. Kimahri

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    Hiya dude. I'm a bit older than yourself, but I've been where you are several years ago. I allowed my fears and insecurities ruin a relationship with a hot guy that really was into me. It really is easy for our minds to run away on us with something like this. Addressing it isn't easy at all. You have to stand your ground despite the urge to flee from the situation.

    I wish I had some deep piece of advice to give you. I'd hate for you to miss out on this guy if he's as great as you say. If your parental units really gave you that much grief about your existence, you MUST rid yourself of them. Therapy may not be such a bad idea. I did it and it improved my outlook on myself and things immensely. There is nothing wrong with you. Your picture is great.

    One thing I found in my former hot bf, he was as scared of being with me as I was with him. I wasn't hot like him, but I had my own things going on (I was a Lacrosse player and in a fraternity) and he secretly worried that he wasn't hot enough. Of course I found this out too late though.

    I guess what I'm saying is....go for it, dude. Fear, insecurities....all that stuff are just obstacles. Go around them and go get your man.
     
  17. D_Woody_Bush

    D_Woody_Bush Account Disabled

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    Two things I would like to add:

    First, you've only been going out together a very short time. So, of course you're still getting to know each other, insecurities come up (because nobody wants to be strung along and be made to feel like a fool) but there is not much you can do about it apart from carrying on, making the effort and, if things work out, you'll be able to look back and smile at your own behaviour.

    Secondly, (and this is just a thought) is your boyfriend so hot now because he has had body image issues himself in the past? Perhaps he felt he was too skinny or too chubby himself and decided to do lots of sports/hit the gym...? Perhaps he sees in you that you do not have to confirm to just one body-type and can still be beautiful and that is why he may feel at ease with you?

    We cannot read other peoples' minds, so just go with what he tells you, trust him and enjoy this time. (Why would he spend all the time and effort being with you, if he was not serious? In that case, surely, he would simply walk away or never have gotten involved with you in the first place.)

    I certainly wish you two well.
     
  18. iwantc2c

    iwantc2c Member

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    this does makes sense. i am meeting him tomorrow so i hope it will all go well. he is an amazing guy and he seems really nice. i will find out more answers tomorrow and i'll make sure to update right away hahaha
     
  19. D_Woody_Bush

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    Its more important that the two of you communicate - updates (though appreciated) can wait. You two come first :umbrella:
     
  20. B_iamsosexy

    B_iamsosexy New Member

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