I need advice on a situation with one of my friends.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Refresh7, Oct 17, 2009.

  1. Refresh7

    Refresh7 Member

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    Ok so I'm a 20 yr old guy and in the middle of my senior year of high school, my oldest childhood guy friend said he wanted to stop being friends. He said that we didn't like the same things anymore and I was heading nowhere and in a different direction than he was because I didn't really try hard in school. I kept asking where this came from and he said he didn't know but it would just be better that way. :)confused:)

    It was horrible for a while as he became best friends with a guy that I hated (and coincidentally fooled around with when we were 13 and only the two of us know to this day) and they would ignore me and say things behind my back. Nevertheless, I ended up opening up to more people and became more popular and social around school and getting better grades than him (ironically).

    He eventually apologized and said he was horrible and that he was no longer friends with the other guy. I said I'd try to forgive him but it would always be in the back of my mind. We started becoming genuine friends again a year later...then he started sneaking around with my pregnant friend. And told her not to tell me because he knew I'd be mad, but she always did and I confronted him and he pathetically asked for forgiveness, which I gave him again.

    And now, he's fine and just sucks up to me all the time and refers to me as his best friend to everyone, and yet at this time when he's being the nicest he's ever been, I actually just don't want to be friends with him anymore. lol I'm over the drama, but I don't want to stoop to his level and do what he did and just cut him off out of nowhere. So what should I do?
     
  2. D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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    I think, as the general wisdom has it: Give a person a second chance, but not a third.

    What I think happened is that over the course of time and these events you've lost touch and faith in the man, which is quite natural considering what he had done.

    I don't think there's a clear cut between right and wrong in this situation although what I would do is I would put some distance between the two of you and see how that goes. If it works out then keep adding to that distance. It's one of those take a step back to see the big picture kinda thing.
     
  3. Refresh7

    Refresh7 Member

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    Thank you for replying. I see what you're saying. We go to different colleges, so it helps, but he texts me a lot, and is always inviting me to chill at parties now, so I feel at this point, I've come to the point where I can't truly be rid of him from here on out, especially since we're in the same circle of friends.
     
  4. D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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    Put a third person in the picture? Not as a replacement but rather an addition.
     
  5. molotovmuffin

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    I think you've out grown your friend or at least you come to realize that it's not worth the drama. I hate drama, when it shows up, I'm out. The easiest way is to start putting distance between you two as stated already. You know, you don't have to answer every text you get.

    I'm one of the people who's.... "who"s who" is constantly changing. Every few years I totally renew my perspective and friends list... like a crab shedding it's shell. People come and people go. That said, I don't really do friends, everyone is called that but in truth they're acquaintances.

    My best friends NEVER did me wrong in anyway and all of them live in other states and I can count them on one hand.
     
  6. MrMXYZPTLK

    MrMXYZPTLK New Member

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    People don't change. If they screw you over and you forgive them twice. They'll screw you over all the time because they know you'll forgive them agian
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    I would simply rewrite the line he gave you. Just say that you feel that you are moving in different directions in life and have reached an armageddon of sorts in terms of what you have in common and the values that you share.
    Take the high road and walk away and cultivate real friendships.
     
  8. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Nudey, don't you have some jet-lag to be getting over?! :biggrin1:
     
  9. Principessa

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    Uhmm, how is it you are 20 and just now a hs senior?:confused:
     
  10. molotovmuffin

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    LOL read it again slowly.... hahahahahah
     
  11. B_aussie8in

    B_aussie8in New Member

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    he sounds like a male heterosexual version of the blonde chick in 'obsessed(youtube the trailer). he sounds like a toxic friend who is trying to social climb but lack the social skills to climb a staircase let alone social classes. You need to ditch his ass, phase him out of your life. See less and less of him and stop forgiving him. If you don't he is going to sabotage your life.

    P.s. sorry for bad grammar and spelling.
     
  12. sab84

    sab84 Member

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    My two cents... tricked me once shame on you... tricked me twice.. shame on me...

    As you mentioned, you can't get rid of him altogether... then slowly reduce you relationship with him... cut him out of your life... reduce your text/calls/FB/myspace to him.... expand your friend circle and hang out with others... move him from best friend to friend and then slowly to an acquaintance... Anyways.. in few months you could as well move to another city for college or something.... and then it would be much easier...
    and to know if he truly is your friend and if he cares at all about you.... then you have to wait for someday when you need a best friend desperately.. and see if he fills in those shoes or not... (the real self of people rarely change.. they can only suppress or control who they really are)
     
  13. sexplease

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    What should you do?
    Enjoy the time you have to spend together.
    Peoples paths in life sometimes cross and sometimes run parallel.
    My preference with people is to walk side-by-side taking turns leading, for how ever long it is, that we enjoy each others company.
     
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