Just tell the 'friend', very apologetically, that you don't have the money to lend at the moment.
I suspect he'll become unpleasant & then vanish in a venomous cloud.
they would know I was lieing
besides like I said before loaning them the money is not a problem at all, it's a small sum, it is a relativly rare occurance and they have paid me back the few times they have borrowed before
the money is nothing at all to do with the problem
the problem is the two sided coin of manipulation/taking advantage of them.
I don't want them to try to act like we are better friends then we are, and shower me with attention they normally wouldn't give because they want something. I don't want them to think they can manipulate me, but I also don't want them to think that they have to do that. The point is I would do this even without them being extra nice to me. And part of what bothers me is that they don't know me well enough to know that. (If that is indeed what is happening)
And the other side of that coin is I don't want to take advantage of them, getting the extra attention that I normally wouldn't be getting because they would normally be doing something else like studying for thier college classes or whatever.
There is the possability of course that they are just trying to be a better friend tome then they have been for the past few months, to be totally fair to them most of the time of our friendship they have been the type to talk to me a fair bit. Only in the past few months (since new years basically) had they been more distant, so it is equally likely that there is nothing bad going on here. The problem is I don't know how to figure it out myself and aside from two people all the advice I have been getting is based on the loan. Once again the loan is nothing to me.
For the difference this amount of money will make you may as well just assume I'm a millionaire and they want a hundred bucks ok?
It's nothing it's not even a factor.
In fact fuck the money pretend I never mentioned it, pretend the issue is they want to borrow a pair of shoes that I hardly ever wear. And I'm worried they are being extra nice to me to make sure I loan them the shoes ok?
I'm sorry if I seem rude, but I have 2 pages of advice about the one part of the situation that isn't a problem and only Dolfette has given me advice on the actual question I have! I appreciate that everyone is trying to help, really I do I just am getting answers to questions I havn't asked!