I need help ladies

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by claudio, May 2, 2005.

  1. claudio

    claudio New Member

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    I am often scared to ask my partner if she had an orgasm, because i feel like she damn well should have. None the less, i have asked before and have recieved mixed results. sometimes i assume that she has had one and other times i dont think she did. also my partner is on the pill, and i trust her greatly so we don't use condoms. yes i go in raw. but my question is ....

    aside from the contractions and breathing change (which she could very well be faking) should i notice any other obvious signs of an orgasm?

    and since there is no condom should i feel any drastic rise in her vaginal secretions?

    just wondering, i would appreciate any help i can get from anyone. me and my partner never talk about sex after we have engaged in it, so i don't think i will ever know from her. and apperently she is crazy about me, i mean i am like all she ever thinks about. but i just wonder if her sexual attraction to me is down played by her emotional attraction. its good to know that she loves me for who i am, but it would also be cool for her to sexually be head over heels for me also. i just hope her past lover's shoes aren't too big for my efforts to fill. because if they are me and her are finished. lol, jk.

    just for the record i am 18, and my member when erect is a little under 7.5 x 5
     
  2. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    Well we (my gf and I) talk about sex all the time. When she orgasms, I can usually feel her get wetter, like soak my dick. Also she actually says 'I'm gonna cum' and then 'I'm cumminggggggggggg!' which is helpful. If she's faking then she's doing a good job lol but I trust she isn't.

    Maybe try a sexual technique that you know will make her cum? Fingering works for me all the time, in only a few mins or I can even make her cum in under a min. Again she does get wetter. My gf is very horny though and wet all the time (seriously)...Or G-Spot stimulation. Vary positions maybe?

    But if it's bothering you and you really don't know then ask her. Her enthusiasm will let you know...eg a 'um..yes' wouldn't be as positive as a 'fuck yeah baby' :D or something...

    Aside from that...if you two are just starting out then take things slow, and dont be surprised if sex isn't as great as you thought or she can't cum...some girls find it hard to cum.

    Also how long ago did she split up with her ex? Maybe she still has him on her mind or something? Odds are her bf was smaller than you dick-wise so don't worry about that either. Practice makes perfect and luckily practicing feels pretty good ;)

    Good luck and try all different things. Handcuffs could be good for teasing...which reminds me of foreplay, try lots of that too. Handcuffs if you've known her a long time and she won't think you're a freak lol.
     
  3. BobLeeSwagger

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    Dude, I don't think you should expect women to reveal what they do to fake orgasms.

    :p
     
  4. madame_zora

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    I think communication is vital! If more men were like you and actually cared if their women had orgasms, more women would enjoy sex. I know you say that the two of you never talk about sex afterwards, but maybe before or some other time you could ask her how she feels about your sex life together. Women are often so uncomfortable talking about sex that we don't realise how important performance feedback is to a guy. I can tell you that most women who are unhappy will find a way to let that be known, so probably no news is good news, but I would still try to lovingly bring up the topic some time when she won't feel put on the spot or under pressure to give you the answer you want. Good luck with all! Jana
     
  5. Steve26

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    There's a lot of variation among women in terms of how they'll behave during an orgasm. My wife actually gets really, really quiet when she's having one during sex -- exactly the opposite of the screaming, moaning performances you'll see in most pornos.

    If you're uncomfortable talking about it right after sex, you could just ask your GF in general sometime how often she has an orgasm during sex. Be honest and say that you're not sure. This way you'll not only get an answer on how often you are getting her off, but if you open up and admit uncertainty on how to read her in bed, she might also clarify by saying something like, "Oh, you can tell I'm having an orgasm when I do X and Y." You'll also show, by asking, that you care about her satisfaction, which she will appreciate.

    Good luck!

    Steve :)
     
  6. claudio

    claudio New Member

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    Thanks for all the advice, i will try talking to her.
     
  7. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

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    I personally get really quiet right before as well and then let out a groan with the contractions....which I would think that you should undoubtedly feel.

    I think some women are also different in that not all women "cum" when having an orgasm. At least I don't. I tend to get really wet during foreplay, but then never have any "gush" later one. I suspect that also has something to do with G-spot orgasms vs. clit orgasms. I'm a clit-orgasm kind of gal.
     
  8. flnkdguy

    flnkdguy New Member

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    When she lets go of your ears and passes out, that's a good sign.
     
  9. willie

    willie New Member

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    By far the easiest way to tell, is if she stamps around the house and talks in monosyllables, she didn't come.

    Also I've seen Arachnophobia, I can recognise bad acting.
     
  10. hose 85

    hose 85 Member

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    My wife always starts to breathe heavy and moan a little just before she cums, as she starts she tenses up and stops moving, and I can feel her vagina spasm as she rides the wave. :wow:

    Just my observations, J. }(
     
  11. madame_zora

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    Texass bring up a good point, the amount of fluid released can be very different from person to person. An orgasm can be very intense with little or no ejaculate, which is one way that women differ from men. Clitoral orgasms don't make me "cum" as such either, but boy howdy, are they fun! Since this is most women's method of choice, you can't really determine if she's had an orgasm based on flooding, because that usually won't happen anyway. I think for most women it's the contractions and extremely heightened sensations a woman feels that are the orgasmic indicators. Basically, if she isn't one to tell you, you might not know.
     
  12. mimosurfDutch

    mimosurfDutch Member

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    One of my ladyfriends is very self concious, and while we were having sex I (over time) noticed that she would hold back from making any sounds for fear that room mates would hear us. With the lights dim, all I had to do was watch her facial expressions to know how she was feeling.

    The wrinkles around her eyes grow large when she comes, so whenever I see that I drive/thrust at her uterus hard and fast to magnify her orgasm as much as possible. In addition I adjust my angle to pressure the top wall/clit at the same time. I know I'm doing a good job when she just can't hold back from making any sounds :D
     
  13. big_peter

    big_peter New Member

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    In my experience, there may even be wide variations in One partner's orgasms.... Sometimes 'all quiet', sometimes loud and active.

    It depends on mood, personality and often location/circumstance (one wants quiet when sneaking a quickie in a semi-public location, no?)

    My SO has stuffed a pillow in her mouth at times... and has, at times, calmly told me how many orgasms she had.

    I've experienced orgasms where my partner obviously spasms - or doesn't; gets very wet - or doesn't, Screams - or doesn't. Unlike men, with the telltale ejaculate, the female can exhibit quite a variety of reactions (and while I have a few 'favorites, they're all good!). So what to look for is mostly a big smile on her face when you're done. Sometimes it's all you can do - without asking, that is.
     
  14. jonb

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    Orgasms come in a variety of flavors, but the good news is, male and female orgasms show the same signs other than in the genitals. Some have mostly reactions in the genitals. (Speaking as a guy, there have been some times when I didn't feel a thing, but I still ejaculated.) Others can have any degree of spasms. (I've had some real epileptic orgasms before. I"ve also given some real epileptic orgasms.) Still others can actually involve laughing. Or sadomasochistic banter. Still others are actually painful on the buildup, but still a pleasurable release. Still others involve fainting.
     
  15. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    Women are different in many regards, especially when talking about orgasms.

    I tend to be a very sensitive woman and get very, very wet from foreplay, oral sex and even vaginal. In saying that, I too get quite right before I have one, but during the actual release I get loud... extremely loud. I am a moaner and groaner and depending on how good it is, a screamer. Coupled with that are the contractions that have been mentioned.

    One other thing... at least with me... after I orgasm, I find myself trying to push him away. I am very sensitive there... it tickles a little. Strange, yes... but that is me.
     
  16. Irish

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    I had this problem with my first girlfriend. Honestly, I would advise you both just get over your inhibitions and talk about it. I was speaking with her recently (we broke up last December) and I think we talked more about what was going on in the bedroom the other day than we did at any point while we were actually dating. She answered my questions, I answered her's. It's good to get some honest, solid feedback. It's hard at first, but once you learn to be open about it things go much more easily. Communication is one of the best tools you have.
     
  17. Aruba 1st

    Aruba 1st Member

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    Ma Honey is very similar to you.
    She varies on a monthly basis.

    Another "anouncement" besides a gush and the fluttering is looseness and change in the places where she is most tight, kind of as though she's arching or re-positioning inside - feels like she's "tenting".
     
  18. Imported

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    orionsword57:
    There were times when my wife wanted to be bitten at the point of her orgasm(s), and she would either bite me or ask to be bitten as a signal. The point is.... we talked about it before hand, a lot actually, and agreed that there was no right or wrong about what ever the other wanted. Since her death and seeing other women, I never have begun a sexual relationship without bringing this issue up (among several) to determine what we both might want and expect. I have found that women both appreciate a man wanting to know what they want and that he is committed to her fulfilment.
     
  19. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    There were times when my wife wanted to be bitten at the point of her orgasm(s), and she would either bite me or ask to be bitten as a signal. The point is.... we talked about it before hand, a lot actually, and agreed that there was no right or wrong about what ever the other wanted. Since her death and seeing other women, I never have begun a sexual relationship without bringing this issue up (among several) to determine what we both might want and expect. I have found that women both appreciate a man wanting to know what they want and that he is committed to her fulfilment.
    [post=312030]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    Communication is the best policy to ensure both parties are happy/satisfied. I am a strong believer in sharing your desires, your needs and your wants. If you do not articulate them to your lover, then how in the world is he/she suppose to please you? It is not rocket science....

    Good for you Orion... Packaged nicely and willing to talk... perfect!
     
  20. Imported

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    robyn: Here's my opinion on faking - why bother? If it isn't happening, lying won't make you feel any better. Also, lying about having an orgasm certainly won't make you have one in the future. Showing your partner how to help you have an orgasm, and then telling them when you have one, seems to work best. How can you tell that she had one? There is no sure sign for women - for men, it's a bit easier to tell :) At least in most cases (I have seen guys, "dry cum") Someone else mentioned getting very sensitive after cumming - I am the same. I cannot tolerate my clit or nipples being touched for a few minutes after cumming - though my bf loves to touch them right away because apparently it makes me sqeeze my vagina really tightly (though I am not paying attention to my vagina at that time - it is almost painful for my clit to be touched and sometimes he just goes to town!)

    Hehe - the pain is a, "good" pain, if you know what I mean :)
     
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