i need help.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ronnieboy, May 29, 2008.

  1. ronnieboy

    ronnieboy Member

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    alright so this is probably my first actual post on here.

    long story short...occasionaly, and i dont know why, i can't get it up.
    i'm 23 years old, with no health issues, and i don't know what to do. it happened alot before i lost my virginity, i think probably because or nerves or what not. but after i started having sex..alot..it wasn't really a problem. it's been a little while since I last got laid. but a few times recently i get hard, get blowjobs perfectly hard, but then when it comes right down to it...it all of a sudden goes soft. it's really disappointing and embarrassing, and i don't know what to do.

    its so embarrassing and i don't think there's anything wrong with me, because i used to have sex all the time. now its happened to the same girl twice in the past week. who knows what the hell she's thinking, and i just want it to stop!

    anyone with similar problems who could help? or any advice?! anything would be greatly appreciated!!!!

    ahhhh.
     
  2. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I think your anxiety about the problem most likely isnt helping matters. If you worry about not being able to get hard, it will (understandably) stress you out and stress is a major factor of erection loss. My advice may not seem very helpful at first, but just try to relax and not worry about it and your hardon should return with vigor!
     
  3. ronnieboy

    ronnieboy Member

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    thanks dude, thats the thing. its like..well shit, it happened the first time, now i'm gonna think about it for sure. i know i just gotta relax, i dont know why im so worked up in the first place, its all just weird.
     
  4. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    If you know blowjobs are safe ground, maybe just stick with getting head for the time being. This will build your sexual confidence and the thought of boner-loss will eventually leave. Don't try and run before you can walk, just enjoy yourself and in no time at all, you'll be rock hard again :)
     
  5. SpeedoMike

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    since it seems the plumbing works you might find therapy helpful in determining what's happening and how to deal with it.
     
  6. ronnieboy

    ronnieboy Member

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    haha yeah i guess the best bet would be to just clear this damn head of mine and not think too much about it...fucking brains always getting in the way!
     
  7. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I dont think you have a "problem" - a lot of guys experience what you are going through. Dont fret dude, your dick isnt broken :)
     
  8. ronnieboy

    ronnieboy Member

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    well lets hope not! its just fucking weird...never any problems getting hard..until its time for the condom or time to just hammer the chick. i know its mental..just gotta figure out how to get past it!
     
  9. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    I would give rather great odds that the problem is one of cascading stress on performance, but, at the same time at age 23 heading for an MD might not be a bad idea as well.

    E.D. can hit at any age. If there is a cause for this that you are not aware of, a quick check by an MD might rule out some things and that in and of itself can make you feel better and more confident.

    One way to begin to know if what you have going on is performance anxiety or organic is to look at the positions of your body in reference to success and failure.

    I suffer from E.D. and am more than 20 years older than you are. I would like to hear a little more dialog on a few things to see if there is any resemblence to what my trip downhill looked like. Go ahead and PM me if you want.

    Organic or psychological this is probably going to be an easy fix because of your age.
     
  10. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    Just a quick thought - there is such a thing as a allergy to rubber, which when you put on the rubber could cause a loss of erection. Possibly.
     
  11. lpsg4t

    lpsg4t New Member

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    Hi! well my advice is this;

    When your about to get laid dont think or worry abt not getting hard
     
  12. D_Relentless Original

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    Hi Ronnie, Fully understand what you are going through, happened to me in my 20's for a while, i was at the doc's etc, really anxious, worried you know the drill, basically to try and overcome it i was masturbating for fun, seeing if it would work on my own which it did on most occassions, but then down to the business with someone it did'nt. i.e one night stands etc, i finally decided to put something else in its place temporary of course, Rugby,swimming etc, even reading trying to take my mind off it as it became a vicious circle,i was relaxing more etc, i actually met someone and someone who was understanding, we used to kiss, etc but not have sex, if it did'nt work then it was no problem for either, gradually i got my confidence back, harder erections, erections that stayed ,and thats what it may be with you pal, your confidence sexually has been knocked, but you will get it back, time and patience .
     
  13. CALAMBO

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    ronnie...the event you describe has afflicted me over my 50 yrs...i believe it is a momentary distraction of the mental flow to the penis....do not dwell on it...but do discuss with your doctor if it persist...they hear it all and seen most all...seems to happen to me about half way thru a sexual event...just change the course of fun...take a leak...go at it again...have her suck it back to life....
     
  14. B_dumbcow

    B_dumbcow New Member

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    The best thing to do is see a doctor face to face if this continues. The internet never has all the answers. :hug: Good luck.
     
  15. D_Coyne Toss

    D_Coyne Toss New Member

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    How are things going now? Have you won over this anxiety? Or have you seen a MD?

    It is soooo disturbing when it happens: you feel like 1/2 and there is absolutely no reason, we all face defaillances, sooner or later.
     
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