I need money, badly

[wldhoney]

I just read the linked thread -- Spoiled Princess said to threaten calling Child Protection Services on the other child. Did you do this? Did you ever consider calling Child Protection Services at all?

The part that I don't understand is the younger sister. If what you're saying is true, then there's a victim that is even WORSE off -- the younger sister. How could your finance just abandon her little sister?

This is all very fishy to me. I've heard many a girl tell horror stories about their homelives to get men to "save" them. ANd it never turns out to be that bad.

The part that sticks for me is the totally uncaring attitude either one of you have for a younger child.

Please explain this to me.

I can almost guarantee you that the Department of Social Services is already on it, first because of one of the kids ending up in juvenile hall, second from any statements made by the her regarding her younger sister.

On the one hand, there are horrible parents out there, on the other there are kids who don't want to follow parental rules and will lie.

If there is any doubt about DSS involvement, then,yes, contact them.

 

[Principessa]

Getting credit cards is easy and $2000 is a very small amount in that world. I wouldn't advise putting yourself in debt unless it is absolutely necessary, but if it is absolutely necessary, apply for a line of credit somewhere. Your $8.50 an hour job should be enough to get you at least a $2000 limit. Then ask for a balance transfer to a checking account with your name on it, or write a convenience check and deposit into your own bank account, withdraw the funds, and you have $2000. Thank you, NineInchCock_160IQ that is the best advice so far! :smile:

How hard is it to rob a corner shop these days?

If you feel too bad about doing that, when you have the opportunity to repay it, send her back the same that you stole anonymously. Assuming the OP is in sincere that is not funny.

Women might be able to make $2K by stripping. Or escorting. She is 16! Given that he was rescuing her from an abusive situation this is not good advice.

Sales is the quickest honest way. But you have to be willing to meet rejection head on and defeat it. Some summer type jobs like house painting if you do all the work yourself and hussle like a maniac could work.

When I was young I had friends that would work fishing boats or the crab boats off Alaska. When I hung out at the beach when dinosaurs ruled the earth, my buds would work 3 months and sometimes bring home $30K for a months work. Then hang out and surf for 11 months. Or ski. That may work next year but not right now. It sounds to me like she may be too emotionally fragile to be left alone right now.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I really don't know what to think, it sort of feels genuine, when people are distressed their story doesn't hang together because they're all mixed up and confused, but like everyone I don't want to be taken for a ride. It'd take a lot of people donating a few dollars to make up the amount you want and from what WldHoney says she shouldn't need money to achieve emancipation. I don't know the legal situation regarding this but WldHoney seems to, I don't know how both of you feel about this but how about WldHoney and Mephistopholes having a few exchanges to see if she can provide him some useful advice?

 

[mephistopheles]

Idk how to make you guys believe, all i can do is have faith in the goodness of mankind, something i never really believed, but I'm willing to do anything!

Today i broke down at work and couldnt quit crying, it hurts to think about all the lies and fuckups we've been subjected to.

Our favorite movie is rocky horror picture show, our love song is Punk Rock Girl by the dead milkmen. Her favorite food is gumbalia, and her favorite drink is tropicana fruit punch. Her favorite band is afi.

And just before all of this happened her mother killed her cat jade, so we got a new kitten loona... and now she has to lose her cat again.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

If your father has a restaurant can't you lend the cash from him?

 

[arliss]

your girlfriend can make an application for public assistance through her DSS worker...resulting in a P.A budget being set up in her name...this will enable her to support herself...and be on the road to being an emancipated minor...a judge will want to know about her means of support and the DSS worker or the Child protective worker (if they are involved) will let him (the judge) know she has established a P.A budget to secure her financial independence...a very simple process

 

[mephistopheles]

If your father has a restaurant can't you lend the cash from him?

My parents are having money problems at the moment, they've already invested in a laywer because a doctor over prescribed my mother the wrong medicatino, and shes been having brain clicks.

And getting new meds are expensive.



BTW, Arliss, would i just contact DSS to get all of this set up?

 

[wldhoney]

Idk how to make you guys believe, all i can do is have faith in the goodness of mankind, something i never really believed, but I'm willing to do anything!

It's not a matter of not believing you. I've seen my share of neglect and child abuse because as a paramedic among other positions within emergency personnel, I consistently come into contact with it. It's very real.

But, I am going to be fairly blunt here. There are also kids out there, as I stated before, who don't want to follow the house rules so they run away, become disruptive. Understand that I am not saying you do not have valid concerns or feelings. At the same time, when we are young and in love, everything is very emotional, especially when someone is trying to keep you apart. When the mother speaks in court, chances are YOU will be cited as part of the problem. Since she is a minor, it is very unlikely that you will be able to speak or even attend the proceedings.

You are saying that she is 16 and comes from a dysfunctional situation. If that is so, then yes, she needs to be removed from the danger. However, it also means she is more than likely emotionally unhealthy and what is against both of you is that at 16 YEARS OLD she has a fiance. It's hard to hear and accept, but most 16 year old girls, especially ones trying to escape a bad situation, are not going to be deemed ready unless they have been maintaining a job, have a means of transportation, a place to live that they can afford, and a way of supporting themselves. What will also be considered is her record at school. Did she get good grades, was she responsible in her homework, did she attend her classes. If she hasn't it doesn't reflect well on her maturity level.

At this point she is a ward of the state. Once she entered juvenile hall they basically became her custodial parents. She cannot hire a lawyer for herself without the courts permission. You cannot hire a lawyer for her. If she wishes to present a case for emancipation, the courts will need to approve it. She will petition for emancipation with the help thru her case worker or state appointed legal representation.

 

[Not_Punny]

mephistopheles -- we really feel for you. We have all been in disastrous situations -- or have known/helped people in disastrous situations.

Problem is, your fiance can't be "saved" from a legal process. It's not a perfect system, but she's not in danger of losing life or limb.

To do a fundraiser here at LSPG would take a lot of planning and effort on your part, and I honestly don't know how willing people would be to contribute. It's technically not an emergency, and -- like I already said -- no one is in any danger of losing life or limb.

My suggestions are to follow WldHoney and Arliss's advice.

And have patience.

But if you find that you really DO need to raise money -- set up a PayPal account and/or PO box for checks/cash and actively promote it. No one else is going to raise that money for you. (I might contribute if I saw a fundraising campaign being run, but you're the one who's going to have to set it up, promote it and execute it.)

 

[mephistopheles]

Thank you guys, I'll get on that asap.

You have my most sincere thanks.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

Wldhoney and Arliss gave excellent advice.

Your gf has been in that situation for 16 years and she's survived it, so she'll survive it now. As has been said but I'll put it more bluntly, it's quite possible she's laying it on a bit thick, sixteen year olds tend to be very melodramatic and at 16 I thought my extremely good parents were absolutely vile, deep down I knew they weren't and that I was being unreasonable so to bolster my case I'd embellish a little to friends about how hard done by I was. If she is genuinely at risk whether you find the money you need or wait till it goes through due process with the DSS she's still likely to be there for a little while more. You're panicking and you need to calm down and realise that she's survived all this time she's probably not in the danger you feel, it's extremely rare for a child of that age to be in extreme physical danger from a parent.

 

[arliss]

My parents are having money problems at the moment, they've already invested in a laywer because a doctor over prescribed my mother the wrong medicatino, and shes been having brain clicks.

And getting new meds are expensive.



BTW, Arliss, would i just contact DSS to get all of this set up?

you are not the PLR no one is going to (legally) listen to you..you have no defined role in any of this....your girlfriend has to initiate this....you can certainly suggest this is what she wants to do...communicate this to the DSS worker and she will ask ya gf (off the record) and if ya girl says yes then good ..the process wll start

 

[mephistopheles]

Spiledprincess, elieve me, I've seen(wtih my own eyes) some of these thigs happen to her, this is not over reacting or being melodramatic.

And Arliss, thanks very much, but i dont think she even knows that idea is possible, as i said, i havent been able to contact her at all.

I watched her mother beat her with a sandle, and didnt do anything... I regret it completely... but if i had stepped in I would have been banished from ever seeing her again, and her mother has put restraining orders on people in the past...

And i know, why didnt we call Dss or Cps? I dont know, we didnt even realize they existed... and we werent concerned about her mother beating her, she was more concerned with losing me.

We didnt do a lot of thing that would should have done at the time, we were panicing ad didnt know what to do... I was doing absolutely all i could do stay in the house with her and keep her from starving to death.

My fiance is 6'2" and used to weigh 250, after they moved to NC(just because of not eating) she lost 50 of those lbs. I lost 40 lbs... I am 6 foot tall and weigh 100 lbs now because her mother was starving us on purpose, this sint over reacting. I'm so emaciated you can see every single bone in my body, looking at me is like looking at a corpse

 

[Not_Punny]

Your fiance is not in solitary confinement, and will have ample opportunity to ask questions and be advised. She's smart and not completely alone.

 

[arliss]

Spiledprincess, elieve me, I've seen(wtih my own eyes) some of these thigs happen to her, this is not over reacting or being melodramatic.

And Arliss, thanks very much, but i dont think she even knows that idea is possible, as i said, i havent been able to contact her at all.

you have not been able to contact whom? ya gf....well read what I posted you need not contact her...contact her DSS worker or the Child Protective worker.....understand this..and truly I empathize wih you...ya gf is not locked away in Siberia...my point is ....she has access to both telephone calls and mail..even hardened criminals on death row have access to telephone calls and mail...let's be realistic.....

 

[mephistopheles]

my point is ....she has access to both telephone calls and mail..even hardened criminals on death ro have access to telephone calls and mail...let's be realistic.....

No she doesnt... I've tried, the oly person who can contact her via phone is her mother, and the ppl at the detentio center said she cant recieve mail, so they're putting all my letter to her with the stuff she was taken in with.

I can't contact her at all.

And she cant get my letters until she leaves the detention center

 

[arliss]

Spiledprincess, elieve me, I've seen(wtih my own eyes) some of these thigs happen to her, this is not over reacting or being melodramatic.

And Arliss, thanks very much, but i dont think she even knows that idea is possible, as i said, i havent been able to contact her at all.

I watched her mother beat her with a sandle, and didnt do anything... I regret it completely... but if i had stepped in I would have been banished from ever seeing her again, and her mother has put restraining orders on people in the past...

And i know, why didnt we call Dss or Cps? I dont know, we didnt even realize they existed... and we werent concerned about her mother beating her, she was more concerned with losing me.

We didnt do a lot of thing that would should have done at the time, we were panicing ad didnt know what to do... I was doing absolutely all i could do stay in the house with her and keep her from starving to death.

My fiance is 6'2" and used to weigh 250, after they moved to NC(just because of not eating) she lost 50 of those lbs. I lost 40 lbs... I am 6 foot tall and weigh 100 lbs now because her mother was starving us on purpose, this sint over reacting. I'm so emaciated you can see every single bone in my body, looking at me is like looking at a corpse

6'2 250 well d-d-dayummmmmm.....you got a big ole gal lol....

 

[mephistopheles]

6'2 250 well d-d-dayummmmmm.....you got a big ole gal lol....

She played soccer for 8 years, its mostly in her butt and thighs.

 

[wldhoney]

If at any time in the future her mother physically attacks her, call the police immediately. That is when it needs to happen. Even if there is not a mark on her, it has just occurred and everything is fresh.

In no way does her mother have the right to physically harm her, and vice versa. This goes the same for her sister. She needs to call. Even if it isn't physical, if they are at anytime fearful for their safety, that is an emergency.....call 911.

Police are pretty serious when it comes to child abuse. If they believe it is occurring, they are going to remove the child and call in an advocate. She deserves to be protected, and that she has had to live with it this long shows a failure somewhere, whether it has been the system or family members looking the other way.

The best thing you can do is remain calm, mature, keep your job. Tell her to be respectful, to show good behavior, and to have a plan outlined on what she wants to do regarding school, job, etc.

I live in another state, but I have connections within DHS and JDH here, and can ask for advice if you need it.

 

[arliss]

No she doesnt... I've tried, the oly person who can contact her via phone is her mother, and the ppl at the detentio center said she cant recieve mail, so they're putting all my letter to her with the stuff she was taken in with.

I can't contact her at all.

And she cant get my letters until she leaves the detention center

then communicate with her through her lawyer..she has to have a lawyer either legal aid or an 18b attorney.....they will surely give her a message from you..