I need some advice on volunteering

[Tattooed Goddess]

Can anyone give me some stories on how you've volunteered to help others you don't outright know?

Right now there is a family in my area, i went to school with one of their boys and i know him, he knows me. The other boy, the one i dont know, is suffering a terminal cancer. He's about 32 years old, with a young wife and two children not school aged. Things aren't looking very good for them right now. I've been keeping up with their story on Caringbridge.com since it was announced. I am a silent onlooker at this point.

I clean for a living, and while i'm so behind on some of my own housework, i keep thinking there must be something i could do for this family. Right now they are out of state getting aggressive treatment for him, but i thought about offering to come and do a little bit of house cleaning for them. I am sure they are getting people to make a lot of meals for them or help with their children. The only thing i can think of to help them is coming over for a few hours and getting some of their deep cleaning done.

I am not sure who else to ask at this point, as i try not to let bizarre ideas get too many roots before i get some opinions. I've offered to people who have major things going on that i could come and help, but i feel like if they know you that they just don't know what to say. This is more of an anonymous jesture of kindness. I know sometimes it's hard for me to feel motivated to do my housework and I'm not having to live at the hospital with my husband. I can't imagine how this family keeps up at this point.

Would this be too weird to offer? Has anyone else been able to do something to help out someone they don't know, but know about? Has this been successful for you?

The last two years during Thanksgiving and Christmas it's been so depressing to see how much of the holiday is spent being worried about gifts for people who can afford them already. I'm tired of cooking my ass off for family dinners that are just weird like everyone elses. I'd rather drive downtown and do something for the needy or homeless there. I keep mentioning it but this year has to be different.

I spent several hours catching up with this family's story and it's made me think so much about what i can do as it would pull me out of being depressed about other shit going on in the family right now. I have a feeling it would be good medicine. I just want to offer something reasonable and acceptable.

They might say no, but i figure if i gave them a more precise offer such as if i could come over for a couple of hours and help make things easier for them to welcome their son/dad/husband home when he gets out of the hospital, maybe this would be offer they couldn't refuse.

 

[flame boy]

Perhaps if you do it so it's associated with the cleaning business they may find it easier to accept? If it's one person offering something they may find it hard to decline. If, however, a business contacts them and says they have been following their story and would like to help out by providing cleaning services for no charge they could find it easier to accept or decline.

Either way, it's a very kind gesture which I am sure they will appreciate.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Oh that's brilliant, and not something i had thought of. I could send them a business card in the mail with a hand written little note stating i had been keeping up with their story and i'd love to help out anyway i can, the best way i know how!

Damn, you're good. Much more professional approach to something that could be uncomfortable to let just anyone come and do.

I kept looking at the angle of how i knew one of their sons and not really looking at it from the perspective that the sick son and his parents/wife had no clue who i am. Offering in a manner of looking like a business owner rather than a person who knows their other son definitely makes me less nervous of being put aside with the other requests to help from people who know their extended family.

 

[petite]

flame_boy's suggestion sounds good to me.

It's not a weird offer and a lot of people do things like that. I think it's wonderful.

I started to tell stories, but I can't figure out how to do it coherently and while still staying within my personal guidelines that protect my privacy. The story ended up being too confusing and vague and I just gave up.

TheBF recently lost a good friend to cancer. He was about the same age with a young family, too. He also told his story on CaringBridge. It really hit TheBF hard. I hope things turn out better. It was really tragic.