I need some serious advice...

Discussion in 'Penis Enlargement' started by _Riker_, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    This is a bit of a long one and I'm not 100% sure if this is in the correct section of the forums so I apologize if it is incorrectly posted. :X

    I'm new to the site and I'm desperately looking for information on how to lengthen my penis, I am eighteen years old uncircumcised, I have an erect penis length of 5 1/2". I'm 6' 3", 210 lbs (not overweight, bodybuilding is a hobby of mine so I have a fair bit of muscle on me). Everything in my body seems to growing normally and I know 5 1/2" is "average" for penis length but I don't want this length, I would really just like another inch. I want to be around 6 1/2" or 7".

    I met a girl about three months back and I love her to death. We had sex for the first time a week ago and it was our first time for both of us. It wasn't bad but it was a little awkward (trying to get the positioning right, angle, speed and getting the condom on).

    I've been doing a bit of stretching lately and can get my foreskin to somewhat fully retract when fully erect. It doesn't exactly go that far back from the head of the penis just a little bit and if I let go the foreskin sits at the ends of the head.

    I was over my girlfriends house yesterday and she was txting someone and I didn't exactly LOOK at it, more like a quick glimpse and I read "he isn't that long at all", with her saying that and then her friend replying back "do you feel it when he fingers you", and that's about all I had to read and I was fucking MORTIFIED. I didn't confront her about it until later, she got pretty defensive and assumed that I went into her phone and read her txt messages (we were laying on the couch together and as she was txting she kind of veered it away from me but I still read it).

    I'm not mad at her or anything I just wished she came to me first to talk about it, I even told her that I don't mind talking about it. I said I wanted it all to be completely honest.

    When we had sex I had trouble getting the head of my penis to stay out from under my foreskin. During intercourse the foreskin kind of got over the head of the penis so the sensation wasn't exactly awesome and I was kind of losing my erection. She says that she can only feel it somewhat during missionary, during anal or any other position she said no. She told me that it isn't a big deal and maybe it is because we are inexperienced (I'm sure this might have something to do with it) but I'm around 5 1/2" fully erect and my size is certainly the issue here. It's very embarrassing and I never really put much thought into it until reading that text.

    It really is a horrible feeling knowing that you can't satisfy your woman. I think I've stopped growing (height wise, I'm not sure though) does this mean that my penis growth may have stopped too or could it still be possible for my penis to grow a decent amount from 18-21? Has anyone had such a scenario?

    All I want is a decent size so that I can pleasure my woman effectively. :(

    As you know I am NOT circumcised and I am a little confused on how I should jelq and how it should feel while circumcised. I tried it out in the shower and I can kind of feel blood flowing to the top of the penis, is it supposed to feel a tad bit pressurized? Like as I pull up I get a tingling pressure feeling if you know what I mean.

    Also in regards to my foreskin I noticed that as I pull it back the head of my penis (the very top goes back too) and it is this little line of skin I suppose.

    Here is a picture: Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting

    It doesn't exactly hurt as I stretch it but I can certainly notice the tension on it, is this normal?

    Also as far as jelqing goes what other techniques could I adopt for optimal penis length growth?

    Should I invest in Jelq devices to aid me?

    I've checked out the sticky thread at the top but I'd like some more input on the users end. I really do appreciate any help or feedback, thanks in advance!
     
  2. joe bltsflk

    joe bltsflk Member

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    Get a different girlfriend. I'm serious, this will always be an issue between you two. If she can't accept you as you are, then she wants someone else.
     
  3. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    Getting another girlfriend really isn't an option. :/
     
  4. joe bltsflk

    joe bltsflk Member

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    Umm, yes it is. If she dumps you, that's it for the rest of your life? You can't turn yourself inside out trying to be what SHE wants. What about what YOU want?
     
  5. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    First, I too would have been a bit taken aback if I found that a girl I had just had sex with for the first time was texting her friend about my penis size.

    Second, the picture you posted looked completely normal to me. Can't see a problem there. Is the "line of skin" you are referring to your frenulum? Looks OK to me.

    Third, I understand that given your height your penis might look a little small to you (hell, I bet their penis looks a little small to at least 90% of guys here regardless of size) but it isn't small. You have an average length.

    Fourth, an average length penis is a decent size and can pleasure the great majority of women effectively.

    Fifth, the first time for most guys is a bit awkward regardless of penis size. Hell, even after a guy has gotten laid a bunch, the first time with a new partner can be a bit awkward. It takes a few times to become accustomed to the other person's preferences and rhythms, work out the angles, and find the best positions for your respective anatomies.

    Can't help you with the foreskin bit as I am circumcised. I have read that a lot of guys with tight foreskins can correct the problem with stretching exercises so maybe someone can chime in.

    At the age of 18 it is possible you will get a little bigger but quite a few men will have reached full adult size by that age, so don't count on it.

    Having said all that, I understand that you would like to be bigger. Your foreskin shouldn't be an issue for basic PE exercises. You don't need to retract the foreskin to jelq or stretch. You should be flaccid, or nearly so, when stretching, and you shouldn't be jelqing anywhere close to erect. Your foreskin should also not be an issue for Kegels, which I would also recommend. Yes, you should feel tension when stretching.

    And if you are worried about your ability to please your girlfriend, take this opportunity to learn how to eat pussy. Don't be offended if she offers you a few tips either.

    I have heard of quite a few uncircumcised guys having issues when using extenders or hanging devices, but I wouldn't consider those options until you have tried PE for at least several months. You also don't need a "device" to jelq.
     
    #5 redbear52, Feb 4, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2012
  6. jackhappy

    jackhappy New Member

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    I think the advice above about getting a new girl friend is valid. If she's never had it before, how does she know about size comparisons? You may
    stick around and even marry her, but it's about certain she will seek a longer one, and you'll be hurt big time. Move along - there are lots of fish
    in the ocean!
     
  7. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    I've read the entire txt message conversation, she doesn't want to dump me she was just discussing with her close friend, at the end of the conversation her friend says "Atleast you getting sex, hahaha" and then she replied back "Yeah. Except sex isn't the only thing that's worth a relationship".

    She isn't sitting there pressuring me into trying to be something I'm not, she is very supportive but it's just so depressing to find out that it was all an act.


    I know I don't need the device for jelqing but do you think it would help me grow faster? She loves it when I finger her and eat her out, (text message confirms) but after reading the text message everytime I finger her and eat her out and hear her moan I just get a little depressed because I know that I can't do anything with my penis and it's just mind fucking me...
     
  8. joe bltsflk

    joe bltsflk Member

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    "it's just mind fucking me..."

    So the problem is in your head, not your pants. Good luck.
     
  9. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    It's both my friend, I still love her and I want to be with her but just knowing all this. Every time we consider having sex this is just going to race through my mind and I don't think it'll make me leave her but I'm just afraid she'll get tired of it.

    Sex is sex, you (not you specifically I mean) say it isn't important but when we're together about to do the deed and all these different things are running through your mind then it does matter.
     
  10. RodRingo

    RodRingo New Member

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    How important is the sex for you in the relationship, really?
     
  11. D_HermanSmellville

    D_HermanSmellville New Member

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    I think your putting too much thought about inches and you might have an unrealistic expectation on what having another inch is going to really to accomplish for this relationship.

    It sounds like it's early on in the relationship and you just haven't hit the right spot with her yet. Get to know how to make her body react. Don't think that just having a larger than avg cock is going to do it everytime either, that's bullshit. Guaranteed that once you find her sweet spots and discover what will makes her wild you won't have to worry about looking at her phone to get insight on how satisfied she is because you will just know (a lot of it non-verbal communication from her).

    Best advice I have for you is to communicate with her more, find out if you don't already what kind of vibrators, dildos and toys she likes. If shes shy about it introduce them slowly, valentines is coming up so maybe buy her one as a gift (maybe something like a hitachi magic wand). Don't get into telling her that you read that she made a comment about your size to her gf it's pointless since she will likely either get pissed off you read it or she will give you sympathy (which isn't going to help you extinguish your insecurities, at least long term)

    Bottom line is to get creative. Don't be simple or boring like some of other guys tend to be thinking it's just large dick that is going to take care of biz.

    best of luck


     
  12. D_HermanSmellville

    D_HermanSmellville New Member

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    It's not mandatory to have your foreskin retracted to mimic a circumcised penis during sex either.

    Without retracting the foreskin, feels pretty amazing.
     
  13. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    Although I would have been taken aback to find her texting her friend with info about my penis size as I said, I personally would not get rid of her for having done it. People do dumb things all the time that are insensitive and cause unintended pain to another, men and women both. If women had dumped me the first time I said or did anything that rubbed them the wrong way, I wouldn't have made it to the second date with any of them.

    Furthermore, penis size is not the big deal for most females that it is with most males. Girls, especially young ones, are often not aware how hung up guys can become over this. She might have been considering your penis size in a very matter-of-fact way, not in any derogatory sense, by indicating that it wasn't the biggest tool in the shed. I have no idea what her breast size is but if she had B cups and you described them to a friend, you might say that they weren't really big without meaning that they were inferior to larger ones. As was said, if you are being mind-fucked by this issue it is you who are doing the fucking.

    And the fact is that a lot of women do not orgasm during penis-in-vagina sex without direct clitoral stimulation with fingers or a toy. A minority of women (no more than 30%) come fairly regularly. Another percentage (perhaps a third) will come occasionally, and the rest never do. And penis size probably has little to do with it for the majority.

    Try to get your head around this issue as quickly as you can. Face the facts, you are an average size. Unless you get quite a bit bigger, for any woman you run into in the future who has any prior sexual experience there will be a fair chance that she has encountered someone bigger. If you start fretting over this and worrying that you will not be able to provide as much sexual satisfaction as she has had with some guy in her past you really will be fucked, and not in a good way.
     
  14. seahorses

    seahorses Member

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    There are several points here that stick out. First I‘m a little sceptical about the amount of sexual experience that, at least, you say your girlfriend has had? After all, she was able to make the comparison that, "he isn't that long at all" Also, as you mention having sex with her a week ago, but say nothing about having sex with here since; (leaving me to assume there hasn‘t been any?) I find it difficult believing that two virgins would consider having anal sex on their first sexual encounter; that, in my experience, normally comes later in a heterosexual relationship. Whose suggestion was it?

    Scepticism aside there definitely seems a lack of anatomical and sexual knowledge here. First of all it‘s not lack of length, at least not in your case, that cause her to not experiencing pleasure during intercourse. You can give her an orgasm using your tongue or your fingers, neither of which, I doubt, are anywhere near 5.5 inches. It‘s more a question of finding the right way to stimulate her. That however, is not necessarily down to you. A lot of what goes on below is dictated by what‘s happening up top, in the head… hers, yours, or both? It might be the case that you need to ask her how and where she likes to be touched, not everybody likes the same thing.

    In regard to your foreskin, this is an intense erogenous area with more sensory nerve ending than in your fingertips or lips. It plays many different roles, one of which is to cut down on the amount of friction that can cause discomfort to your partner during intercourse. It does this by allowing your glance to partly glide up and down inside the sheath of skin… sound familiar?

    You will also find a lot of women say that a man’s girth is far more important to them than his length. If that’s the case then you could try pumping before intercourse. If none of the above applies, then it could be that she has a gynaecological problem. But whatever the problem is, if you love each other the way you say you do and both want to make a go of your relationship, you ought to be sitting down talking about it to each other … through a councillor if need be. Sex in a relationship, especially at your age, is fundamental to it being healthy, and can be the death knell if it isn’t.
     
  15. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    To me it isn't something I would leave her for, although I don't exactly know how she feels about it. She told me it doesn't matter but there is something telling me otherwise, in the text message conversation in regards to my problems during sex her friend says "Man got alotta problems", my girlfriend says "I know. It kinda sucks" and then goes into saying that "It's no biggie" and that "there is more to the relationship than just sex". It's comforting to know but I'm still a little rattled.

    I appreciate the input, I even asked her to come talk to me about this before going to her friends. Just the way that I found out has me really hurt, and she already knows that I know because I did confront her about it and she showed me the entire conversation. I've talked to her about it and told her how I feel, all seems well but I still have these annoying thoughts running through my head now.

    I like being creative and trying other positions but she can really only feel it during missionary. I guess we'll need to continue experimenting. :/

    I certainly won't be leaving her for this, I do genuinely love her. I've been trying to get this out of my head and face the fact, it's still really difficult. For no reason at all I just think about it and it's just so hard.

    When I started our relationship I did end up breaking her hymen with my fingers, she bled and we got past that stage. Anywhere in between me breaking her hymen and her having sex with someone else up until our moment is rather unlikely given the fact that we do talk frequently and I visit her house often and she has little free time on her hands. I'm not sure if she said "he isn't that long at all" in regards to a porn star's penis (she has watched porn before) but that's what she said I don't know if I should confront her and ask her about that.

    We had sex on Thursday of last week, this week we had sex Wednesday and we tried having sex on Friday (but this is when I caught glimpse of the text and didn't read the entire thing, I just saw "he isn't that long at all" and some other things) and I honestly was so depressed about it that I couldn't even get an erection.

    We actually tried anal sex before vaginal sex about a month into the relationship I think. From there on we frequently had anal sex until we finally moved into vaginal. She said she liked anal when she was on top but hated it in any other position and that it hurt.

    I've been reading up a lot lately and I did read something about anatomical structure and how it dictates the pleasure men and women have during sex. She goes wild when I use my mouth and fingers but she also loves it when I penetrate her with my fingers (my dick is slightly longer than my finger) so I'm not sure why my penis doesn't do anything for her, I guess I just need to move my penis more to stimulate her clit.

    She came over last night and that's when we had our serious discussion about the whole matter, I told her how I felt about it and told her that it really doesn't change my outlook on her; I just want her to talk to me about this stuff. It got a little emotional but we both felt better after we talked and we connected and had oral sex.

    I think with us being rather early in our relationship she is having a hard time confronting me about things she doesn't like or "feel" in this case. I don't think she has a gynaecological problem but then again I wouldn't really know because I'm not a gynaecologist. I'm certainly going to talk to her about it all more today.

    I appreciate everyone's input and if you have any more tips or information that I should know of I would greatly appreciate it!
     
  16. Gamm

    Gamm New Member

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    Pound her asshole. She'll change her mind shortly after that.
     
  17. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    It seems that a lot of young people these days don't consider oral or even anal intercourse to be "real sex". At least, I have heard a lot of stories about girls who engaged in oral sex or even anal intercourse who still considered themselves virgins since they had not engaged in PIV sex.

    No offense but it seems to me quite possible that your girlfriend might be one of these "technical virgins" who may have encountered other penises in the flesh, despite having not previously had vaginal intercourse. Her easy willingness to engage in anal sex with you sort of suggests some prior experience.

    Given that she had not previously engaged in penis in vagina intercourse before, she probably didn't know exactly what to expect any more than you did. Even those women who later become vaginally orgasmic often aren't initially. A big factor in determining whether a female orgasms with vaginal intercourse (or any other type for that matter) is her state of mind, and for vaginal sex especially, I think it is a matter of her learning to relax, figure out what it takes for her personally to reach orgasm, and allow that to happen.

    If I were you I would avoid any additional confrontations with her. I don't blame you for being somewhat upset over discussing your sexual performance and/or penis size with a friend after having sex for the first time, but it sounds as if you have made it clear to her that you thought that was inappropriate, so I would leave it at that.
     
  18. _Riker_

    _Riker_ New Member

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    I plan on leaving it at that, I've known her for awhile before we started dating and she hasn't had other serious relationships. She doesn't feel like the type of girl to really sleep around with other guys and I'm actually the first boyfriend she has introduced to her family, her family doesn't know of any other boyfriends since most of them were apparently "non-serious" relationships. Neither of us really knew what we were doing and none of her actions hinted at some previous sexual experience.

    When I asked about anal (it was me that engaged, she wasn't the one to suggest it) she was skeptical at first but I feel like she does really trust me so we tried it out. It was really awkward the first time we did it but it got better after a couple sessions.

    So what I'm understanding is that the penis going into the vagina really does not do much for pleasure (I'm sure this varies from woman to woman), the big pleasure comes from the clit and it's when the penis goes in and also stimulates the clit that makes penetration enjoyable?

    Am I looking at this the right way?
     
  19. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    Women are different. If you look around the internet you will find a lot of claims that anywhere from 70 to 90% do not reach orgasm from penis in vagina intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation from fingers or a vibrator.

    I can't claim to have had sex with hundreds of women but my experience has been a bit different. It may be skewed but it is the only experience I have so I will relate it.

    Of the women I have had sex with almost exactly half appeared to have an orgasm at least once during PIV sex without direct clitoral stimulation. A few of my relationships have been brief in duration or weekend long affairs but most have lasted at least a few weeks. About 1 in 5 of the women I have had sex with came quite regularly with PIV sex, perhaps not every time but 90% of the time or more. About a third orgasmed sometimes ranging from every other time to very occasionally.

    For the half who did climax with PIV sex they often didn't come the first few times or even weeks. I think it was a matter of the two of us figuring out what worked best for them (in terms of position, rhythm, etc) as well as them becoming relaxed enough for orgasm to occur. Also, most guys tend to come more quickly with a new partner for a while and that might have had something to do with it. So I have wondered if some of the women I had rather brief relationships with who didn't orgasm with PIV intercourse might have done so if we had been together longer.

    But there were certainly women I was with for a good while who never came during PIV sex. But that doesn't mean they didn't orgasm from oral sex or digital stimulation. And it doesn't mean the didn't enjoy vaginal intercourse. For a lot of women, vaginal intercourse provides a closeness and emotional attachment that oral sex lacks. And they enjoy it because their partner enjoys it, and has orgasms with it.

    The handful of female partners I had who came just about every time with PIV sex tended to follow the same pattern. They usually liked to be on top and bear down pretty hard against my pubis. I'm sure that the indirect clitoral stimulation from the pressure played a big role. But they also seemed to like really deep vaginal penetration as well (or at least as deep as I could provide) without a lot of in and out movement but more pelvic rocking and grinding. One of these girls had fantastic vaginal muscles and could contract them to actually help herself orgasm (and drive me wild at the same time). All but one of these females also had orgasms with oral sex or digital clitoral stimulation but they told me that the vaginal orgasms "felt different" than the ones from direct clitoral stimulation.

    My wife is one of the women who only fairly rarely has an obvious orgasm with PIV sex. When it happens neither she nor I can identify exactly what combination of moves, thoughts, or circumstances triggered it, and we have been screwing each other for over 30 years. She says she has "little orgasms" from vaginal sex though, whatever those are.

    Here is a survey you might find interesting taken from 100+ women on regarding their sexual behavior including how often they masturbated, how they masturbated, how they liked to be masturbated by a partner, whether they liked direct clitoral stimulation during vaginal intercourse, and whether they came without direct clitoral stimulation:
    Women's sex experiences

    If you scroll down to question 12 you will find that about 43% of these women came at least half the time they had PIV intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation, and another 25% came that way at least occasionally. Only 32% said they had never had an orgasm with PIV sex without clitoral stimulation. I suspect that women who are more vaginally orgasmic might possibly be more likely to participate in a survey like this, but for what it is worth these responses are more in keeping of what I have personally observed with the women I have had sex with.
     
    #19 redbear52, Feb 6, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2012
  20. RodRingo

    RodRingo New Member

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    Is the sex a make/break for your relationship?
     
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