Women are different. If you look around the internet you will find a lot of claims that anywhere from 70 to 90% do not reach orgasm from penis in vagina intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation from fingers or a vibrator.
I can't claim to have had sex with hundreds of women but my experience has been a bit different. It may be skewed but it is the only experience I have so I will relate it.
Of the women I have had sex with almost exactly half appeared to have an orgasm at least once during PIV sex without direct clitoral stimulation. A few of my relationships have been brief in duration or weekend long affairs but most have lasted at least a few weeks. About 1 in 5 of the women I have had sex with came quite regularly with PIV sex, perhaps not every time but 90% of the time or more. About a third orgasmed sometimes ranging from every other time to very occasionally.
For the half who did climax with PIV sex they often didn't come the first few times or even weeks. I think it was a matter of the two of us figuring out what worked best for them (in terms of position, rhythm, etc) as well as them becoming relaxed enough for orgasm to occur. Also, most guys tend to come more quickly with a new partner for a while and that might have had something to do with it. So I have wondered if some of the women I had rather brief relationships with who didn't orgasm with PIV intercourse might have done so if we had been together longer.
But there were certainly women I was with for a good while who never came during PIV sex. But that doesn't mean they didn't orgasm from oral sex or digital stimulation. And it doesn't mean the didn't enjoy vaginal intercourse. For a lot of women, vaginal intercourse provides a closeness and emotional attachment that oral sex lacks. And they enjoy it because their partner enjoys it, and has orgasms with it.
The handful of female partners I had who came just about every time with PIV sex tended to follow the same pattern. They usually liked to be on top and bear down pretty hard against my pubis. I'm sure that the indirect clitoral stimulation from the pressure played a big role. But they also seemed to like really deep vaginal penetration as well (or at least as deep as I could provide) without a lot of in and out movement but more pelvic rocking and grinding. One of these girls had fantastic vaginal muscles and could contract them to actually help herself orgasm (and drive me wild at the same time). All but one of these females also had orgasms with oral sex or digital clitoral stimulation but they told me that the vaginal orgasms "felt different" than the ones from direct clitoral stimulation.
My wife is one of the women who only fairly rarely has an obvious orgasm with PIV sex. When it happens neither she nor I can identify exactly what combination of moves, thoughts, or circumstances triggered it, and we have been screwing each other for over 30 years. She says she has "little orgasms" from vaginal sex though, whatever those are.
Here is a survey you might find interesting taken from 100+ women on regarding their sexual behavior including how often they masturbated, how they masturbated, how they liked to be masturbated by a partner, whether they liked direct clitoral stimulation during vaginal intercourse, and whether they came without direct clitoral stimulation:
Women's sex experiences
If you scroll down to question 12 you will find that about 43% of these women came at least half the time they had PIV intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation, and another 25% came that way at least occasionally. Only 32% said they had never had an orgasm with PIV sex without clitoral stimulation. I suspect that women who are more vaginally orgasmic might possibly be more likely to participate in a survey like this, but for what it is worth these responses are more in keeping of what I have personally observed with the women I have had sex with.
Gottcha', I really appreciate all of the information it's very helpful. We tried having sex again last night, it wasn't going too bad but when we got to the condom I just simply lost the erection. I don't know if it was me being depressed from the whole thing or the condom killing the erection.
We then decided to try without the condom (her suggestion) and I was able to keep the erection (it was pretty hard) so I suppose the condom is killing it for me but I'm still not sure. Is it really that big of a difference for a girl with or without a condom? Apparently most girls can't tell the difference between a condom and a regular penis so I'm not sure if she was faking the pleasure or not. I know it does frustrate her knowing that it is bothering me so much but I really don't want to sit there pounding away while she feels nothing ultimately making her feel like an object; which she is not.
Is the sex a make/break for your relationship?
No, it is not.