It would be far easier to start a friendly chatting about the vegetables you are both shopping for or books you are browsing or whatever.
Deffo!:smile: They look nice can I squeeze them? Wow feel how firm my banana is. No?:frown1:
It sounds like you have mild empathy issues mate - this is quite typical for people near the Asperger's range. There's not a lot that you can do about it. You also seem to be a little obsessed with the goal, & not the game. That's also a problem along the same lines - though of course this might not be your issue at all.
That said, I can remember being upset about not being able to pick up positive cues from girls when I was a teen. It transpired that it was because there weren't any.
LOL
YOU HAVE TO FLIRT!
:wink:
Flirtation may not lead anywhere at all. It's not a means to an ends, but being comfortable with it will get you far.
I seem to recall that you didn't pick up cues from a girl on your bed! That is not really transferable to women elsewhere. Just because you see a pretty girl doesn't mean that not asking her out has blown your chances. The chance never arose. Unless you are already in some sort of conversation - asking for girl's numbers is stalker like behaviour.
Do you want to be that guy? The kind that women go "Oh no he's coming over?".
I've really thought this over, & think that for what you want, your absolute best line & set up - especially if she's alone is -
[keeping a decent space -walk over - get eye contact, smile (& use your hands subtly to illustrate your words)] -& say " Hi"
[pause -then a slight sigh - look down, then look back at her] "I'm XXXX &"
[pause]" I'm quite shy "
[look away - pause - look back] " but I saw you from over there"
[point & look there- look back]" & thought - wow!
[slight pause, nice direct eye contact, & a broad smile breaking out] [look down]" And I "
[look back at her eyes] "thought that if I had the guts to do anything to day - ah",
[at this point you're trying to get her name,& you're pausing till you get it, so your eyes should then be wide open & your hand raised & open too, then hopefully she'll say it -if she does (e.g Tina) smile again & say her name with a nod, look down, look back up at her ] "Tina "
[broad smile - & maintaining eye contact]-" I thought that if I had the guts to do anything to day - it would be to come over here & ask you"
[slight pause] "if you'd like to come & grab a cup of coffee with me"
[still smiling but looking bashful, then a slight laugh & broad rueful grin - if she doesn't say yes, or looks like she might be about to say no - only then continue] "At some point- though I'm good to go now!"
[big smile again, laugh, arms apart, palms up showing that your not an enemy].
This is at least genuine, non confrontational, & well within socially acceptable boundaries almost anywhere. The pitch is somewhere between Hugh Grant & George Clooney - though he really doesn't need a line!
If you go to bars & clubs, go up to the bar where women are, order a drink, & while waiting, look at them from one to another & strike up a conversation about something that you have noticed in or outside of the establishment. If not - make it up e.g "wow, did you see that guy outside with the gold lame jacket on trying to get in" - they say no -"it was mad, I thought there was some bizarre dress code on tonight - but it seems willy wonka had escaped & was looking for the Oompa oompas. Thank God, I thought I feel well under dressed - oh btw I'm xxxx & you are..." If at that point they're very interested you could buy them a drink, if it's only so so say " anyway girls, I've got to go & find my friends, I'll see you later".
The whole point is to get noticed, & make women feel safe around you. In no time, you'll know quite a few women's names, & can say hello to them, where things might develop, & by you talking to women - other women will notice you. This shit actually works. I used to work really unsocial hours, & often went out on my own - within 2 nights or weeks of going somewhere, you know enough people anyway. The key is to keep on drifting on - eventually you can make some good friends & meet women, & even if people ask you the next time where your friends are - just say, they're not here - I had such a good time, & met such good people, I thought hey, why stay in, when I can come out & have fun.
Note at no time are you actually chatting them up, or doing anything to offend them or any hidden BF!
I would say here that I've been told by many that I have a highly expressive face, which helps deliver cues just as much as what I say.
If this doesn't work - KTF40s comments are wise.:smile:
