i need to tap this well

[zombyalive]

this girl i'm dating makes unusual comments in front of large groups (of friends), and it makes me wonder. once she repeated (a couple times in a row after she got no response) some lines from a standup comedy we had seen, "she's got that big fat black cock in her mouth" - kind of out of nowhere. she laughs the loudest at stupid penis size jokes in movies, and will even repeat them later... obviously. she'll take things out of context and turn something into a sex or dick "joke" about size. i'd use the term joke loosely because they're not necessarily funny, nor especially intended to be, but if someone snickers or whatever- so be it.

of course it could just be me, but her comments seem to revert back to big fat dick. its as if she was a child unconscious of how she's giving herself away... of course, maybe she's totally aware of it too, i don't know. her remarks don't nec make me self conscious, i can tell she thinks we have awesome sex (i've had better) and i'm too large to get it all in- so whatever.

the problem is she'll turn something like, "it's too far, i can't reach" into a stupid comment about the guy's dick size but then in bed with me, she hardly says anything at all. she just clams up. her amazing body keeps us active, but this is getting a little old. though it alone isn't worth breaking up at this point either.

it might not even come up like this either, but between her persistence and interest in big cock and black guys, i wonder how it is that I end up getting the shaft. i want to tap this well.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

Not sure exactly what's wrong. You're dick's great. She wants a black one? Is that it?

 

[D_Landrocke DeLonguepiece III]

from what I understand you are uncomfortable with her making stupid jokes in public. Is that right? Just talk with her and tell her you are not comfortable with it. And perhaps if she would not make those jokes with you present. If she doesn't agree, then you can dump her or continue putting up with it. Your choice.

 

[sexplease]

perhaps it's a nervous reaction.
Tell her what and how you feel. Do not make this about her, because this is about you and your feelings.
When you talk about your feelings and thoughts, another person is less likely to become defensive, clam up and divert the topic.

one issue. one dialogue. keep it to the current challenge and find a suitable solution you can live with. Perhaps compromise, but be be kind to your selves.

or, maybe she suffers a little sex Tourette syndrome. BIG COCK

 

[helgaleena]

She is very bad at subtle boasting obviously. She lacks social skills. If 'her amazing body' is worth it to you to try to make it work with her, you need to tell her she hurts your feelings with the crude references because you take them personally.

I will bet she is so quiet in bed because she has even less experience there than she does in social graces. Have you got anything to teach her for your part, or are you both feeling your way in the big world?

 

[dolfette]

she's insecure.
stupid jokes in safe, public settings.
silent in intimate settings.
if you say something you'll just make her more self conscious.

lose/lose, mate :smile:

 

[Smooth88]

Agree with above posters... Lacking in social skills, doesn't have a grip on reality, run away dude.

 

[Opalite]

I'd say it sounds like this girl isn't all that mature.. "theeheehhee penis!" much?
Though, It would sound like she's trying to be subtle about bragging your penis-size to nearly anyone willing to hear so they'll never think she's as insecure as she is when you're alone.. I don't think such things will ever evolve into a healthy relationship, seeing it does look an awefull lot like she's using you to hide behind.

But It's eventually your heart, your call..

 

[zombyalive]

Have you got anything to teach her for your part, or are you both feeling your way in the big world?

do you mean, are we both so clumsily groping our way through life?

Though, It would sound like she's trying to be subtle about bragging your penis-size to nearly anyone willing to hear so they'll never think she's as insecure as she is when you're alone.. I don't think such things will ever evolve into a healthy relationship, seeing it does look an awefull lot like she's using you to hide behind.

wow, i'm surprised by some of the responses. i think in certain ways they put things into perspective, appreciated. though i also realize my representation of the situation is a little skewed.

i'm really on the fence about this lately, but i think i've made up my mind.

 

[zombyalive]

so, i did make up my mind and broke up with her. now i'm single and enjoying myself. thanks for the encouragement and advice. when worst comes to worst, i remember what i thought while reading this thread- and i appreciate it, from strangers even more so, since the bias is totally unknown on my part.

 

[helgaleena]

That is nice to hear, zomby. Bon chance.

 

[Wish-4-8]

I would confront it. Chalk it up to communication in a relationship. Let her know what is bothering you.

Now, the success in this conversation is all going to depend on how you approach this. Do it wrong, and you will make the situation worse. But you have to do something or it will become a festing obbession with you that will drive you mad everytime she opens her mouth. And one day you will lash out at her, in public. And all she has to say is, "Why didnt you tell me that was bothering you?" And you will look the fool, after the damage is done.

 

[Wish-4-8]

Oh, damn, I am too late! Now you will never know if a conversation would have solved the issue. (Unless you did have the conversation.)