I need your expertise

Hak87

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Let me introduce myself. I am a 50 year old mixed asian male and by normal standards, I would good looking. I am very much fit and look after myself.

I have never been married but have had at least 3 relationships with women. Each relationship lasting over 4 years.

I never had kids with any of them which led me into investigating if I had a low sperm count. I actually did as confirmed by my Urologist.

Now with the issue of me wanting help.

In terms of erection and arousal, it seems like I do have sustained erections when I am in love with the woman. That takes a while though. Spontaneous meet ups do not do it for me. Let alone spontaneous sex. To the point that when I go on dates, I could not raise the flag. It is very frustrating! I end up telling my date that it’s performance anxiety then lie about that not happening ever before.

One stage I thought I was gay. I watched and wanked over gay porn but erections are never sustained And cumming not as explosive.

I even gave in and met up with guys on Craigslist. I only managed to get off when I got sucked by the dude.

Sucking, which I tried, seemed so disgusting and never really liked it. There was a man, quite good looking, fit and muscular and straigh-ish, who wanted to be fucked…I just could not get my penis hard to penetrate him. I had to call it off.

When I watch Bi porn, it is actually the pleasuring of the woman that I get turned on to. Though I must admit that seeing both male and female bodies rouse some eroticism when I watch them.

I have tried trans people…both MTF and FTM. Still I did not get much arousal.

I have joined a couple before, male and female, and even orgies and swingers, but when it was time for the deed to be done…I became limp.

In summary, I get turned on by the thought of sex. I get turned on my either male or female sex as evidenced by me getting pleasure watching porn. I am however not turned on at all when I physically meet up with a man or woman in person.

What does this make me? What is wrong with me?
 
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neintynein

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Let me introduce myself. I am a 50 year old mixed asian male and by normal standards, I would good looking. I am very much fit and look after myself.

I have never been married but have had at least 3 relationships with women. Each relationship lasting over 4 years.

I never had kids with any of them which led me into investigating if I had a low sperm count. I actually did as confirmed by my Urologist.

Now with the issue of me wanting help.

In terms of erection and arousal, it seems like I do have sustained erections when I am in love with the woman. That takes a while though. Spontaneous meet ups do not do it for me. Let alone spontaneous sex. To the point that when I go on dates, I could not raise the flag. It is very frustrating! I end up telling my date that it’s performance anxiety then lie about that not happening ever before.

One stage I thought I was gay. I watched and wanked over gay porn but erections are never sustained And cumming not as explosive.

I even gave in and met up with guys on Craigslist. I only managed to get off when I got sucked by the dude.

Sucking, which I tried, seemed so disgusting and never really liked it. There was a man, quite good looking, fit and muscular and straigh-ish, who wanted to be fucked…I just could not get my penis hard to penetrate him. I had to call it off.

When I watch Bi porn, it is actually the pleasuring of the woman that I get turned on to. Though I must admit that seeing both male and female bodies rouse some eroticism when I watch them.

I have tried trans people…both MTF and FTM. Still I did not get much arousal.

I have joined a couple before, male and female, and even orgies and swingers, but when it was time for the deed to be done…I became limp.

In summary, I get turned on by the thought of sex. I get turned on my either male or female sex as evidenced by me getting pleasure watching porn. I am however not turned on at all when I physically meet up with a man or woman in person.

What does this make me? What is wrong with me?
I mean, it sounds like you're more towards straight, maybe a little bi, but whatever, but you just have to actually be emotionally into your partner and your relationship with them. It makes you... a person of serious intent.

Try keeping some Viagra/Cialis on hand for those early dating occasions until you have momentum with someone you're into.

And... why talk to us? Ask a doctor. Preferably one who's sex-positive/LGBTQ-friendly since you may want to feel at ease discussing your side trip into homosexual encounters in the name of seeing whether anything is "wrong with you" other than preferring that sex be within a committed relationship with someone you're into.

I mean, when did you get the idea that a man-- at any age-- should be ready to go at any opportunity, anyway? that's just not a realistic thing to ask of yourself. Maybe at 18, when your conscious mind is truly not in the loop, but you're an adult, man. And you're choosy.
 

cobra8

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perhaps you are demisexual and just need to build an intimate relationship before a sexual one
 
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1069369

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Try watching less porn brah. Jerk off less or when you do just edge and abstain from cumming. Hold your load for the next partner your gonna fuck.

Also, you gotta fuck off that conscious mind. That keeps overthinking things. It gets in the way of an awesome fuck. So just have some alcohol, few beers etc before you fuck. I always do this.

Also, as another member already suggested, try some V. I take anywhere from 50-100mg Sildenafil, recreationally. Keeps me horny and rock hard for hours.