I need your help or advice with my sexual desire towards my straight best friend

[Merophe]

Keep in your head it has nothing to do with you. Or him for that matter. You are at least bi or gay, he is straight. Respect his space or you will surely lose what seems like a good friendship. I'm not saying that to be evil, but if you enjoy his company and have a few laughs here and there and enjoy his fully clothed company you either accept that as it is and when he leaves you may lose him as a friend forever. He's already made it clear and still is friends with you. That's all he wants. He's straight dude, respect his space.

I do

 

[bravesoldier]

Keep in your head it has nothing to do with you. Or him for that matter. You are at least bi or gay, he is straight. Respect his space or you will surely lose what seems like a good friendship. I'm not saying that to be evil, but if you enjoy his company and have a few laughs here and there and enjoy his fully clothed company you either accept that as it is and when he leaves you may lose him as a friend forever. He's already made it clear and still is friends with you. That's all he wants. He's straight dude, respect his space.

Yeah, man that's great advice. I have a situation with a female friend's son-in-law. I have always been ruthlessly drawn to that beautiful, cute, short, sexy guy. I don't see him often but each time I do I swear I can feel his affection coming right back to me. The last couple of times I have seen this ruthlessly cute 30 year old Daddy of FOUR.. the chemistry seems to get more and more overwhelming. I definitely seem to see in his eyes his appreciation for me as much as I know he detects my appreciation for him. When he approached me the other day for a handshake, I saw his eyes give me a good up and down, but to me it was more that certain look on his face that was telltale. I only wish I had a picture of that look. I don't know if he sees the same look coming from me, as I try not to stare until he's not looking. Usually, each time he and I are around each other we always pay each other compliments in a subtle way. After the handshake the other day all I could say to him was to tell him he was looking sharp, and oh was he. He returned by saying you too.. In the course of the rest of the afternoon he issued a few more compliments at random that only said he was looking at specifics about me. His subtle comments made me feel incredible to say the least. He commented on my sunglasses first, then later suddenly came out and said man, I like you style- pointing to my mustache and soul patch. All afternoon I fantasized about accidentally bumping into him in the restroom of the house, stopping briefly, wrapping both my arms gently around his narrow waist, gently pulling him close and planting a very wet, gentle kiss on his neck. I also couldn't stop thinking about quickly running my hand inside the waist of his shirt, rubbing his fuzzy belly (I saw his hairy stomach in a picture) while gently sticking my finger in his belly button, something I find so erotic. Then, quickly exiting the bathroom while giving him a sad look that I couldn't continue to show him my intense affection to him.

I honestly feel he is attracted to me like I am to him, but oh the disaster that would ensue if anything ever happened and were found out. His mother-in-law is a longtime friend, I love and respect his wife and the fact he's a father to four beautiful children.

Forbidden fruit.

 

[Stephenmass]

I agree with you 100%. Sometimes straight guys will compliment one another on sunglasses, a shirt, a pair of pants, etc., but not really in a sexual way. I am quite sure if you attempted to reciprocate in a overtly sexual way with comments that made him uncomfortable, you would probably lose a very good friendship. Yes, we have all read stories and so forth about straight guys getting it on with another guy, but IMO for a 100% straight guy, they don't even entertain that thought process the same way as say you do. You haven't made him uncomfortable and have kept what apparently is a true friendship. I'd value that over a half hour or less of "getting it on". A true friendship is really hard to find. I'd hang onto that rather than risk losing a good close friend because something I said made him uncomfortable around me.

 

[Merophe]

Yeah, man that's great advice. I have a situation with a female friend's son-in-law. I have always been ruthlessly drawn to that beautiful, cute, short, sexy guy. I don't see him often but each time I do I swear I can feel his affection coming right back to me. The last couple of times I have seen this ruthlessly cute 30 year old Daddy of FOUR.. the chemistry seems to get more and more overwhelming. I definitely seem to see in his eyes his appreciation for me as much as I know he detects my appreciation for him. When he approached me the other day for a handshake, I saw his eyes give me a good up and down, but to me it was more that certain look on his face that was telltale. I only wish I had a picture of that look. I don't know if he sees the same look coming from me, as I try not to stare until he's not looking. Usually, each time he and I are around each other we always pay each other compliments in a subtle way. After the handshake the other day all I could say to him was to tell him he was looking sharp, and oh was he. He returned by saying you too.. In the course of the rest of the afternoon he issued a few more compliments at random that only said he was looking at specifics about me. His subtle comments made me feel incredible to say the least. He commented on my sunglasses first, then later suddenly came out and said man, I like you style- pointing to my mustache and soul patch. All afternoon I fantasized about accidentally bumping into him in the restroom of the house, stopping briefly, wrapping both my arms gently around his narrow waist, gently pulling him close and planting a very wet, gentle kiss on his neck. I also couldn't stop thinking about quickly running my hand inside the waist of his shirt, rubbing his fuzzy belly (I saw his hairy stomach in a picture) while gently sticking my finger in his belly button, something I find so erotic. Then, quickly exiting the bathroom while giving him a sad look that I couldn't continue to show him my intense affection to him.

I honestly feel he is attracted to me like I am to him, but oh the disaster that would ensue if anything ever happened and were found out. His mother-in-law is a longtime friend, I love and respect his wife and the fact he's a father to four beautiful children.

Forbidden fruit.

So today I went to his place and helped him pack; and nothing special happened. It seems like our friendships could be the same, but I still got those feelings towards him (I didn't show to him at all, must keep it).
Last night I masturbated, and I couldn't resist thinking of his face and his voice, and it makes me quite sad realizing that I've never had any of those fantasies; and I just wish I could delete this fruit out of my mind.

Well, the next 3 days i'll hang out with him and our friends before he leaves Thailand, and I wish I could just focus on the fun parts and abandon those sexual urges in me.

 

[wvgwm52]

What needs to be mentioned is this.. let’s say .. if things were different and he was gay.. that still doesn’t automatically say that he will have sex with you.. we all have preferences as to what we like and don’t like.. some of us think as long as there’s a penis it’s all open game..

we can’t go out here suck and fuck all of our friends .. . Just tell him before he leaves that your confused and let Him know your friendship is more important…

don’t get thinking that this is a movie theme of where he gives in to your urges And lets you get what want..

 

[bluemax]

I've been having a hard time dealing with these issues for some time now, I can't get rid of these sexual urges.
So I'm a depressed Thai femme gay with not much friends at all, but a year ago I met this white straight man from the States (Italian descent). He's ultimately my type and the opposite of me in every aspect. He's super tall, has light colored hair, gorgeous green eyes with a yellow hue, friendly, and open; unlike me who's super shy (maybe that's why I don't have many friends and it makes me super lonely). So over the past year we've had a good time together, spent moments doing friendly activities, and considered each other best friends. However, the party has come to an end cuz he's moving back to the United States on this April 15, and it breaks my heart. I'm at the stage of life where I don't have much friends, especially close or best ones, and going out seeking new one who clicks with me is hard (yes, I've tried before, but most are tourists who stay in Phuket for like a week or two).

We've never had sexual things at all cuz he's straight, but I've accidentally seen his penis and naked twice in the past few months. It left footprints on my brain and I've been having dreams about doing sexual intercourse with him. I can't let those feelings away at all, I did a grindr hookup one time (which is also one of my struggling cuz I barely got someone I liked who'd agree to do it with me since i'm femme, short, and normal looking) a day after my dream, but I felt nothing. And those urges are still present in my heart.

Last night I slept over at his place and opened up with him about this sexual desire toward him, which he's noticed for some time now but he keeps avoiding bringing this topic up cuz it makes him uncomfortable. We always open up to each other, and I told him that I needed to feel that penis and I wanted to do a blow job, but he said it's never gonna happen and I had to deal with it (for the context, I've told him before that I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him, which I genuinely do and he sees it; that's why we keep being good friends).

Since then, I've been having these weird feelings; sad cuz he's leaving, jealous of those female friends he's been hooking up with (which I'm also their friends too), hurt cuz I have a feeling with him (but I doubt about this part cuz I've been asking myself about my feelings, and I don't think of him romantically; but I might be delusional tho). Ultimately, I don't know what to do, deal with this, or how to cope. I need all of your advice, or sharing your similar stories that might help me, or anything. Please help me. Thank you in advance

I would suggest you read the book 'Limerence' by Dorthy Tenov. And best of look in letting your demon go.

 

[Merophe]

What needs to be mentioned is this.. let’s say .. if things were different and he was gay.. that still doesn’t automatically say that he will have sex with you.. we all have preferences as to what we like and don’t like.. some of us think as long as there’s a penis it’s all open game..

we can’t go out here suck and fuck all of our friends .. . Just tell him before he leaves that your confused and let Him know your friendship is more important…

don’t get thinking that this is a movie theme of where he gives in to your urges And lets you get what want..

Me and him both know that we value our friendships above anything, and I'm not gonna say or do anything sexually towards him anymore.
I'm here just to find ways to cope with these feelings, but thank you for your advice Your point of view makes me rethink and reflect my thoughts about this

 

[Merophe]

I would suggest you read the book 'Limerence' by Dorthy Tenov. And best of look in letting your demon go.

Thank you so much, I'll check them out for sure!

 

[sara shah]

I've been having a hard time dealing with these issues for some time now, I can't get rid of these sexual urges.
So I'm a depressed Thai femme gay with not much friends at all, but a year ago I met this white straight man from the States (Italian descent). He's ultimately my type and the opposite of me in every aspect. He's super tall, has light colored hair, gorgeous green eyes with a yellow hue, friendly, and open; unlike me who's super shy (maybe that's why I don't have many friends and it makes me super lonely). So over the past year we've had a good time together, spent moments doing friendly activities, and considered each other best friends. However, the party has come to an end cuz he's moving back to the United States on this April 15, and it breaks my heart. I'm at the stage of life where I don't have much friends, especially close or best ones, and going out seeking new one who clicks with me is hard (yes, I've tried before, but most are tourists who stay in Phuket for like a week or two).

We've never had sexual things at all cuz he's straight, but I've accidentally seen his penis and naked twice in the past few months. It left footprints on my brain and I've been having dreams about doing sexual intercourse with him. I can't let those feelings away at all, I did a grindr hookup one time (which is also one of my struggling cuz I barely got someone I liked who'd agree to do it with me since i'm femme, short, and normal looking) a day after my dream, but I felt nothing. And those urges are still present in my heart.

Last night I slept over at his place and opened up with him about this sexual desire toward him, which he's noticed for some time now but he keeps avoiding bringing this topic up cuz it makes him uncomfortable. We always open up to each other, and I told him that I needed to feel that penis and I wanted to do a blow job, but he said it's never gonna happen and I had to deal with it (for the context, I've told him before that I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him, which I genuinely do and he sees it; that's why we keep being good friends).

Since then, I've been having these weird feelings; sad cuz he's leaving, jealous of those female friends he's been hooking up with (which I'm also their friends too), hurt cuz I have a feeling with him (but I doubt about this part cuz I've been asking myself about my feelings, and I don't think of him romantically; but I might be delusional tho). Ultimately, I don't know what to do, deal with this, or how to cope. I need all of your advice, or sharing your similar stories that might help me, or anything. Please help me. Thank you in advance

I went through the exact same thing a few years ago! What I’d suggest is just pull down his trousers and slurp on that cock, maybe he lets you eat it once. I didn’t do it back then and I still regret not trying till this date. He’s moving away anyway so it’s not like you’re going to see him and it will be awkward everyday. Just suck it!

 

[dexolator]

For years I thought all guys fucked guys .. up until I was 21 22 years old .. alot of fellows let me suck their dick and fuck me.. then all of a sudden stop and start dating women.. I guess they did it with me as well as others when was horny and needed to get off somehow

wow can u tell us more story about this.. how these happened?

 

[sara shah]

Me and him both know that we value our friendships above anything, and I'm not gonna say or do anything sexually towards him anymore.
I'm here just to find ways to cope with these feelings, but thank you for your advice Your point of view makes me rethink and reflect my thoughts about this

Just stop with the decency! Suck him dry!

 

[Merophe]

Just stop with the decency! Suck him dry!

Oh honey! if life is that easy, I wouldn't be suffered and misery like this lol

 

[ZuhayrKhan27]

I've been having a hard time dealing with these issues for some time now, I can't get rid of these sexual urges.
So I'm a depressed Thai femme gay with not much friends at all, but a year ago I met this white straight man from the States (Italian descent). He's ultimately my type and the opposite of me in every aspect. He's super tall, has light colored hair, gorgeous green eyes with a yellow hue, friendly, and open; unlike me who's super shy (maybe that's why I don't have many friends and it makes me super lonely). So over the past year we've had a good time together, spent moments doing friendly activities, and considered each other best friends. However, the party has come to an end cuz he's moving back to the United States on this April 15, and it breaks my heart. I'm at the stage of life where I don't have much friends, especially close or best ones, and going out seeking new one who clicks with me is hard (yes, I've tried before, but most are tourists who stay in Phuket for like a week or two).

We've never had sexual things at all cuz he's straight, but I've accidentally seen his penis and naked twice in the past few months. It left footprints on my brain and I've been having dreams about doing sexual intercourse with him. I can't let those feelings away at all, I did a grindr hookup one time (which is also one of my struggling cuz I barely got someone I liked who'd agree to do it with me since i'm femme, short, and normal looking) a day after my dream, but I felt nothing. And those urges are still present in my heart.

Last night I slept over at his place and opened up with him about this sexual desire toward him, which he's noticed for some time now but he keeps avoiding bringing this topic up cuz it makes him uncomfortable. We always open up to each other, and I told him that I needed to feel that penis and I wanted to do a blow job, but he said it's never gonna happen and I had to deal with it (for the context, I've told him before that I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him, which I genuinely do and he sees it; that's why we keep being good friends).

Since then, I've been having these weird feelings; sad cuz he's leaving, jealous of those female friends he's been hooking up with (which I'm also their friends too), hurt cuz I have a feeling with him (but I doubt about this part cuz I've been asking myself about my feelings, and I don't think of him romantically; but I might be delusional tho). Ultimately, I don't know what to do, deal with this, or how to cope. I need all of your advice, or sharing your similar stories that might help me, or anything. Please help me. Thank you in advance

Interested in finding out how you accidentally saw his penis and saw him naked twice. Story time please

 

[wvgwm52]

some gay men think theres no such thing as a straight man--they think all men are bisexual or gay and available to suck n fuck because they have feelings for this straight guy--

keep your dick in your pants leave him alone except remain friends and find you a gay man to be in love with

 

[Merophe]

Interested in finding out how you accidentally saw his penis and saw him naked twice. Story time please

Nothing interesting, I just went to a spa with him, and we got to change. He got a towel covered up but it slipped, so I saw just a part of his cock, not fully tho.

 

[Stephenmass]

If you are going to remain friends even after he goes away, he's respecting you and accepting you as you are. You, if you want him to return or write or call or whatever, need to respect his space.

 

[wvgwm52]

It’s certain gay men that think with their dicks more than anything.. and think this straight friend of mine is hot.. I wonder if he’d let me suck his dick..

I won’t say I never sucked straight cock before I know several were straight.. but it was then that knew I was gay and decided to let me suck their dicks .. some let me rim their asses and some of them fucked me as well.. but it was their choice and remain friends afterwards

if he isn’t making any moves .. quit wanting something you never can have.. before you go “basic instinct” on him and cross the line and do something you will regret later

 

[Trigger22]

I've been having a hard time dealing with these issues for some time now, I can't get rid of these sexual urges.
So I'm a depressed Thai femme gay with not much friends at all, but a year ago I met this white straight man from the States (Italian descent). He's ultimately my type and the opposite of me in every aspect. He's super tall, has light colored hair, gorgeous green eyes with a yellow hue, friendly, and open; unlike me who's super shy (maybe that's why I don't have many friends and it makes me super lonely). So over the past year we've had a good time together, spent moments doing friendly activities, and considered each other best friends. However, the party has come to an end cuz he's moving back to the United States on this April 15, and it breaks my heart. I'm at the stage of life where I don't have much friends, especially close or best ones, and going out seeking new one who clicks with me is hard (yes, I've tried before, but most are tourists who stay in Phuket for like a week or two).

We've never had sexual things at all cuz he's straight, but I've accidentally seen his penis and naked twice in the past few months. It left footprints on my brain and I've been having dreams about doing sexual intercourse with him. I can't let those feelings away at all, I did a grindr hookup one time (which is also one of my struggling cuz I barely got someone I liked who'd agree to do it with me since i'm femme, short, and normal looking) a day after my dream, but I felt nothing. And those urges are still present in my heart.

Last night I slept over at his place and opened up with him about this sexual desire toward him, which he's noticed for some time now but he keeps avoiding bringing this topic up cuz it makes him uncomfortable. We always open up to each other, and I told him that I needed to feel that penis and I wanted to do a blow job, but he said it's never gonna happen and I had to deal with it (for the context, I've told him before that I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him, which I genuinely do and he sees it; that's why we keep being good friends).

Since then, I've been having these weird feelings; sad cuz he's leaving, jealous of those female friends he's been hooking up with (which I'm also their friends too), hurt cuz I have a feeling with him (but I doubt about this part cuz I've been asking myself about my feelings, and I don't think of him romantically; but I might be delusional tho). Ultimately, I don't know what to do, deal with this, or how to cope. I need all of your advice, or sharing your similar stories that might help me, or anything. Please help me. Thank you in advance

Just stop. This will lead to nothing but prolonged agony for you and maybe the loss of what seems to be a good friendship. You let it be known and he said no. That's good enough. He knows and still wants to be your friend that's amazing. Let that be enough. Maybe he can be your wingman help you find someone else

 

[dreamer20]

I'm a depressed lonely Thai femme gay with sexual urges & not much friends. A year ago I met my type of man. Straight, white, tall...friendly and open; unlike super shy me. We had good times together & became best friends. It breaks my heart cuz he'll be back to the United States April 15. Finding a similar friend is hard (as most are tourists staying in Phuket for like a week or two). I accidentally saw him naked, twice in the last few months & dreamed about sex with him. After a grindr hookup ( barely got someone I liked to do it with me since i'm femme, short, and normal looking) those urges were still present in my heart.

April 2, 2023: my telling him about my sex desire made him uncomfortable. I said I needed to feel that penis and do a blow job. He said it's never gonna happen and to deal with it (for the context, I've told him before that I didn't have any romantic feelings towards him, which I genuinely do and he sees it; that's why we keep being good friends). I don't know what to do, deal with this, or how to cope. I need all of your advice, or sharing your similar stories that might help me, or anything. Please help me. Thank you in advance

All you can hope for, if your objective is to befriend a straight man again, is a Platonic friendship/ relationship and not sex. You were fortunate to have such a friendship with your "type" of man. Him being naked didn't suddenly change his sexuality or indicate he desired you. It did indicate he was comfortable being nude around the good friend and person he thought had no "romantic feelings" for him. It was insensitive and disrespectful of you to make a sexual advance - knowing it would cause discomfort and he wasn't into having sex with men. Treasure the friendships that you have. Use Grindr to find a queer person(s) who might be able to both attend to your sexual urges and be a companion for you.

 

[wvgwm52]

It doesn’t matter if depressed or whatever .. it doesn’t entitle anyone to think that they got a crush on someone that should be allowed to be with him

There’s comes a time when you think with the head between shoulders and not your legs