I never thought you could want to break up with someone and not be able to.

[Ruiner]

So I've posted here. It's been interesting, good, and hard all at the same time. The other week, I realized that this can't last forever and have done my best.

In 6 months, the girl I am currently seeing is completely head over heels for me and is becoming ridiculously attached.

I never thought I'd be one to say this, but I feel like I'm trapped. How do you not destroy someone who has low self esteem so rooted, you couldn't even tell until it was too late.

 

[Principessa]

• Her low self-esteem. That's not your problem, it's hers.
• If you are the only reason her self-esteem has increased. Then that's a problem.
• There is never a good way to break-up but it needs to be done.
• Don't waste her time and yours.

 

[eyescream]

I agree with Principessa. Especially about not wasting anyone's time.

Although you should consider this: do you want to end it ONLY because you can't stand how needy and clingy she is or are there other problems?

If it's about how clingy she is then consider talking to her about it. If there are other problems then just end it and hope she doesn't take it too personally.

I've had my fair share of guys who have been needy & clingy, and other guys who have neglected me. So when you find yourself being neglected you start appreciating the ones that always wanted to be with you and vice versa.

 

[yhtang]

• Her low self-esteem. That's not your problem, it's hers.
• If you are the only reason her self-esteem has increased. Then that's a problem.
• There is never a good way to break-up but it needs to be done.
• Don't waste her time and yours.

Too true indeed, Italian Princess. I agree wholeheartedly especially the last line.

 

[dolfette]

it's cowardly and cruel to keep letting her imagine a future of being loved by you.
dump her and let her meet a man who can love her back.

 

[eeleeleel]

I've been in your girlfriend's position before. If you know the relationship has no potential, break it off.

There is no way that you won't upset her by ending it, but it will hurt her more the longer you wait. I wouldn't be mean to her, but do be firm and make sure you make a clean break. At least for me, wishy-washy and overly kind break-ups never gave me the closure I needed to move on quickly. If she's as attached as you make it seem and you try to 'let her down gently' she might still think she could win you back later on.

 

[MrToolhung]

• Her low self-esteem. That's not your problem, it's hers.
• If you are the only reason her self-esteem has increased. Then that's a problem.
• There is never a good way to break-up but it needs to be done.
• Don't waste her time and yours.

Very true! Very good advice here.