I would say hate but some people would be offended or shocked and go on a tirade about it. The problem is, I've never been encouraged to do anything and no one has ever took an interest eg 'how was school today' or 'what do you want to do [when you grow up]' Probably one reason I'm introverted...as well as being premature and its probably my nature...but that's not the issue. It really is like no one understands me, as cliche and angsty teenagerish as it may sound. The truth is, I like to be on my own, don't really like loud noise and I hate smoke. So I don't really want to go sit in a pub all night. I happen to live in a pub and so people are constantly on at me 'why don't you go in the pub' etc etc. I have friends, but they are 'chavs', heavily into drugs (horse tranquilizers are their latest choice) and go to some real dives with that shitty house music...I ask them to go in the pub, since its okay with them...I'd feel weird in the pub on my own and get bored easily. Still though I prefer to be on my own, reading or watching documentaries or writing etc. My family don't like this...I went to my grandad's the other day to show him my new dog...my nan (who isn't actually my nan...lots of half relations and no relation at all relatives in my family) said 'did you go out on Friday?' I said no. She said why not, I said I didn't feel like it. My grandad interrupted me however and said "He's a hermit. He's a hermit." Which really pissed me off. But the worst, in a catalogue of extreme ignorance and probably shame on the part of my family was tonight. My aunt came into my room and said why don't I go downstairs...I said I didn't feel like it and its already late her. She said come on you're good lookin...blah blah blah. Then she said 'come on, I've told all the girls in the pub about 'Big Paul'. I mean what the fuck! Why would anyone do that, its as if the only thing anyone is proud or accepting of me for is my fuckin penis! I really don't like them. I told my aunt, and have told her many times that I'm going to move away. She slapped my arm (she hits me a lot, so does my mum) and said 'no you're not etc'. But I really want to. It's so depressing and negative here... The upside is I have a job interview on Tuesday in 'the big city', or nearest big city. Plus other jobs coming my way too...as soon as I get one I'm moving away and I doubt I'd want to come back. I've said before that if they weren't so negative I'd be a lot happier, a lot more active etc...but they just laughed at me. Anyway this is a rant/vent I guess. Any advice/comments? Should I move out? I think I should, I hate it here.