I really hate myself for meeting guys sometimes...(((

[798686]

I think you should stop being so hard on yourself.

Do what you feel comfortable with, while you find out where your interests lie (but be safe). It sounds like you feel sick afterwards cos you think it's 'wrong' and feel horrified or guilty, but u are actually drawn to doing it. People dont beat themselves up after str8 experiences, so I dont think you should for this either. I think you should try and relax a little, and maybe try both out?

You're still very young, so plenty of time.

 

[nabludatelj]

Bottom line, the next time you arrange a blow job stay a while longer and get to know the person, male or female.

mm. all these meeting with guys have been arranged in the internet only.
If I could arrange such meeting with a girl....

 

[mitchymo]

LOL..)) why did u ask this question..?)))

English is not my native language.)

It is a valid question lol.

I think it bears an influence on how you feel. Where are you/ family from originally? The culture in the east is a lot less adapted to homosexuality and so the feelings you have may be associated feelings rather than your own.

 

[Florida Boy]

Have you been put down for being gay in your life, ie. bullied as a kid?

 

[Florida Boy]

mm. all these meeting with guys have been arranged in the internet only.
If I could arrange such meeting with a girl....

You can.

 

[nabludatelj]

It is a valid question lol.

I think it bears an influence on how you feel. Where are you/ family from originally? The culture in the east is a lot less adapted to homosexuality and so the feelings you have may be associated feelings rather than your own.

mm.. Im from Russia...)). lol
I dont really care to be honest what my family or my culture think about homosexuality..)) The problem is me. I think If I would fuck a girl, then I could understand for myself what do I really like.

 

[nabludatelj]

Have you been put down for being gay in your life, ie. bullied as a kid?

no never.. but

probably I have something psychological because I have spent a lot of time with girls in my life, who are friends for me only.. and that is why some guys were thinking I am a gay.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Regrets? Uhm go for guys you actually find hot, that helps :wink:

Maybe you'd like to have a connection with a person more than just random body parts and feeling good? Nothing wrong with that. Many people gay and straight feel a regret about sex. It was fun while it was going on, but look back and go, OMG Why did I do that? (Or like an old friend told me once about one of his friend's ex's. Immediately jump out of bed after orgasming and start praying and doing hail mary's)

The dudes you have hooked up with have they been more than just a mouth to service you? Like do you like them etc? If you visited a prostitute chances are you might feel the same kind of hollow feeling afterwards.

There are plenty of gay guys that have an internalized hate. Just look at the bigot hypocrites who preach against gays from the pulpit but engage in sex with males.
And I'm not saying you're closeted or anything just giving an example of others.

 

[nabludatelj]

Regrets? Uhm go for guys you actually find hot, that helps :wink:

Maybe you'd like to have a connection with a person more than just random body parts and feeling good? Nothing wrong with that. Many people gay and straight feel a regret about sex. It was fun while it was going on, but look back and go, OMG Why did I do that? (Or like an old friend told me once about one of his friend's ex's. Immediately jump out of bed after orgasming and start praying and doing hail mary's)

The dudes you have hooked up with have they been more than just a mouth to service you? Like do you like them etc? If you visited a prostitute chances are you might feel the same kind of hollow feeling afterwards.

There are plenty of gay guys that have an internalized hate. Just look at the bigot hypocrites who preach against gays from the pulpit but engage in sex with males.
And I'm not saying you're closeted or anything just giving an example of others.

I think just a mouth service.)
U know.. I caught myself on the idea that I even dont really like their blowjob. really I don not feel something.. extra wow.. while they sucking me off.
I dont really think I can fall in love with a guy... to check what will I feel If I like a guy..

 

[Bbucko]

I can admit that I am attracted to guys some how. But why after all these meetings.. I have nothing except bad feelings. I do not really enjoy a time being with guy.. because I have something what worries me on the back of my mind...

Today, I almost felt sick after that.

You're feeling sick afterward because of internalized homophobia.

 

[nabludatelj]

You're feeling sick afterward because of internalized homophobia.

I can not literally feel sick (nauseate) just because of internalized homophobia.

 

[mitchymo]

mm.. Im from Russia...)). lol
I dont really care to be honest what my family or my culture think about homosexuality..)) The problem is me. I think If I would fuck a girl, then I could understand for myself what do I really like.

ok, getting somewhere, i wonder tho, why do you only want to 'fuck' a girl? why not with a guy? is it because the idea turns you off?
I think you already know deep down what you like and the problem is perhaps just the 'getting it'.

 

[nabludatelj]

ok, getting somewhere, i wonder tho, why do you only want to 'fuck' a girl? why not with a guy? is it because the idea turns you off?
I think you already know deep down what you like and the problem is perhaps just the 'getting it'.

the situation.. to be fucked by a guy or to fuck a guy.. even do not consider...
I have been asked to fuck someone a lot of time.. but I doubt tht I ll accept any of these offers... I can say for sure I dont want to..and I know that I want to feel what means to be inside girl..

 

[petite]

May be a stretch, but could part of the sick feeling come from having NSA sex? A lot of people don't feel good about NSA sex, even if they feel an attraction and they enjoy the sex acts.

 

[nabludatelj]

May be a stretch, but could part of the sick feeling come from having NSA sex? A lot of people don't feel good about NSA sex, even if they feel an attraction and they enjoy the sex acts.

Dont know.. I am OK with NSA sex... dont think anything bad about it.. ))

 

[D_Tina_Ciao]

Straight old woman here - just gather up your courage and approach a girl - if you want to know the feeling of being inside a girl, it has to happen sooner or later, so take a chance. She can only say no, won't attack you or hate you for it, even if she doesn't want to do it - and someone will one day, but you have to try.

Have you thought about dating a girl and just letting happen what will? Might develop into what you want if you're both relaxed.

Don't go through life with regrets; don't allow fear of what *might* happen defeat you before you even try - you only have one life; live it.

 

[mitchymo]

The more women you meet, the greater the opportunity to hook up with a girl that wants some fun, get out and mingle. (i ought to take that advice too actually)

Good news, you are young!!! plenty of time for it.

 

[Countryguy63]

Like it or not, you are feeling sick because you are loading yourself with GUILT. Your 1st post screams of it.

Enjoy what you want (You do enjoy it, or you wouldn't repeat it!), and the ideal situation will present itself.


**edit** also, you can make yourself physically ill with guilt(aka internal homophobia, etc)

If I am more than 1% gay, why do I feel sick after all these meetings?))..

I know that I am doing that just because it is easier to pick up a guy than a girl..in my situation)

 

[HiddenLacey]

Is it possible that you were raised to think this is wrong or that people will think less of you because of it?

Sometimes it can be hard to stop worrying about everyone else and just worry about you. What do you really think and feel? Do you like men? Are you attracted to men? If so then be with men. People judge things they don't understand. Being true to yourself is more important.

There are a LOT of people all over the world who wouldn't bat an eye at you being with a man. Most of us are happy for you.

Girls can take a lot of work, just be patient you can get the best of both worlds if you would like!

 

[readytocum]

Did battle a lot myself accepting me as being gay, not saying that you are, but after all my early experiences with guys...always felt disgusted and guilty. When watching porn...if you you do, what turns you on??? watching the pussy or the guy's dick...in my teen years porn was not as we are seeing now, I went there to watch guy's dick, but we rarely see them hard or even saw their cock and after 15 or 30 minutes would leave in disgust only seeing pussys. One gf of mind who was in love with me thinking I was str8, was really down after I told her I was gay, but we still stood goodfriend, and after...maybe 2 years later, she offered me to have sex with her, was drunk and did it, didn't like it, and it was my 1st and only experience with girls...After that I knew what what I want. By the way I'm 61...porn in my teen years...always had flacid cocks, or rarely seen them.

NB. sorry for english orthograph...french here

Good Luck and keep searching

Another note, was into dicks since I was 12 or 13, and that girl thing happened when I was 25...