I recently ended an emotional affair I was having with a woman I met through school. We only hung out for six months, but I had really come to care for this girl in that time. Her and I are both married which is why I ended things.
We met back in November and only started off as friends. However, things quickly evolved. It wasn't very long that we established to each other that if we were single, we would be with each other. I was so diluted by what was going on, I didn't even realize what I was doing.
We never had sex or even kissed, but when we would hang out, the only things that were missing was that which would make a good porno. We were in love with each other. No doubt.
Our spouses knew something was going on, but didn't know what to do about it... so, they did nothing but reminded us that they loved us.
It couldn't go anywhere because we both said that we couldn't leave our spouses for the other. In speaking with a friend of mine yesterday, she got me to see in a clearer light what I was doing and convinced me that it wasn't going to end well and that I should end it before it became worse. So, I did.
Yesterday, I text her in the early afternoon and asked if she could meet with me. Because her and I are so well connected, she knew something was wrong and insisted that I tell her. I said that her and I couldn't continue with what we were doing and that I wanted to talk to her about it. She knew what was happening. She met with me two hours later and I repeated what I said to her, earlier. It was horrible.
At first, she resisted... saying that one can't help who they fall in love with and that feelings don't simply go away because they are ignored. I told her that she was starting to become more important in my life than my wife and that I couldn't let that happen.
She sat down on the ground, was silent and then cried. After a few minutes, she looked up and extended her hand to me. She simply wanted to feel my hand. I let her. I then helped her to her feet and then we hugged. For the several minutes that we hugged, I cried incredibly hard. I really loved this woman. She asked if I was sure I wanted to do this. I said that I had to. She simply replied, "I understand."
Because I had taken my motorcycle to meet her, she asked if I would give her one more ride. I agreed. We road to a local IHOP to get something to eat. It was sort of a tradition of ours. She simply accepted my decision and wanted to get the most from the bits of time we had left.
After we finished eating, I took her back to her car. We hugged a while longer and she asked if she would ever talk to me again. I didn't know what to say. She was being so gracious about the whole thing. All I could come up with was that there should be some space between us. She accepted it. She reminded me that if I ever needed her to not hesitate to call. I started to tear up again. She then added that she would always love me. I said the same... then we said goodbye.
Then she was gone. I miss her so much. I love you, Kati.
I didn't have any choice. It was either end my relationship with Kati or end my marriage. The two couldn't continue to co-exist. I imagine some who read this will tell me to toughen up or that what I was doing was despicable and I know. I didn't plan on any of it. It just seemed to... happen. What I have written here was mostly for my own therapy. Thank you to all those who read and have a kind word.
We met back in November and only started off as friends. However, things quickly evolved. It wasn't very long that we established to each other that if we were single, we would be with each other. I was so diluted by what was going on, I didn't even realize what I was doing.
We never had sex or even kissed, but when we would hang out, the only things that were missing was that which would make a good porno. We were in love with each other. No doubt.
Our spouses knew something was going on, but didn't know what to do about it... so, they did nothing but reminded us that they loved us.
It couldn't go anywhere because we both said that we couldn't leave our spouses for the other. In speaking with a friend of mine yesterday, she got me to see in a clearer light what I was doing and convinced me that it wasn't going to end well and that I should end it before it became worse. So, I did.
Yesterday, I text her in the early afternoon and asked if she could meet with me. Because her and I are so well connected, she knew something was wrong and insisted that I tell her. I said that her and I couldn't continue with what we were doing and that I wanted to talk to her about it. She knew what was happening. She met with me two hours later and I repeated what I said to her, earlier. It was horrible.
At first, she resisted... saying that one can't help who they fall in love with and that feelings don't simply go away because they are ignored. I told her that she was starting to become more important in my life than my wife and that I couldn't let that happen.
She sat down on the ground, was silent and then cried. After a few minutes, she looked up and extended her hand to me. She simply wanted to feel my hand. I let her. I then helped her to her feet and then we hugged. For the several minutes that we hugged, I cried incredibly hard. I really loved this woman. She asked if I was sure I wanted to do this. I said that I had to. She simply replied, "I understand."
Because I had taken my motorcycle to meet her, she asked if I would give her one more ride. I agreed. We road to a local IHOP to get something to eat. It was sort of a tradition of ours. She simply accepted my decision and wanted to get the most from the bits of time we had left.
After we finished eating, I took her back to her car. We hugged a while longer and she asked if she would ever talk to me again. I didn't know what to say. She was being so gracious about the whole thing. All I could come up with was that there should be some space between us. She accepted it. She reminded me that if I ever needed her to not hesitate to call. I started to tear up again. She then added that she would always love me. I said the same... then we said goodbye.
Then she was gone. I miss her so much. I love you, Kati.
I didn't have any choice. It was either end my relationship with Kati or end my marriage. The two couldn't continue to co-exist. I imagine some who read this will tell me to toughen up or that what I was doing was despicable and I know. I didn't plan on any of it. It just seemed to... happen. What I have written here was mostly for my own therapy. Thank you to all those who read and have a kind word.