I seriously don't get it...

B_prettyswinggirl

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It's going to be a hard few months for you Uboat. When I first left my husband it was for very good reasons and it needed to happen. The friends I was staying with just kept gently reminding me it was for the best in the long term and I took a step of asking them to hold onto my cell phone when we turned in for the night because I didn't trust myself to not call him and beg for him back. I also changed my cell number to untraceable so when we had to call he couldn't get my number and torment me.

Have a close friend who you trust beyond all doubt act as your relationship sponser (think AA). Trust me it's an idea that works.

You will have that support you need when the urges to call her take over and someone to guide you back into the dating world which can be a scary place. It's so easy to choose what we're used to over the unknown because it is so scary.

I can tell you that having my buddies around when I wasn't working was the best answer for my mental wellbeing. I was married for 16 years, so I doubt that it's going to take you 4 months of constant handholding like it did me. I'm betting that each day is going to get a little easier if you leave yourself open to the change. It's going to get better, I promise.

There's a wonderful woman out there who will treat your heart like it was meant to be treated and when you meet her all the pain you're going through now will have been but a blink of an eye.

You've already shown us what a good heart you have. I'm betting there's already a woman in your life, perhaps at work who you haven't let yourself really notice yet...a woman just waiting for you to notice her and give her a chance. I don't see you being lonely for long. Hugs!
 

Unnamed

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Question? Why does it hurt so bad when YOU are the one who ends the relationship? She was spoiled to the core, selfish, and thoughtless…but yet I miss her and want to hold her close to me. I don’t get it.

there is a lot of responsibility in ending a relationship.
 

twoton

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ubout--you gotta stop calling her. You'll never heal until you do. It might take a long time. I went though a long and (for me) painful breakup. It was a couple months before I got over it.
The irony is, as soon as I finally cut all ties with her and moved on, she wanted to get back together. And we did! It was great for about two weeks, then I realized she was still who she was and I was miserable until I ended it.

Let her go. You'll be happier. You will heal.