I think I am 100% gay but I like all straight things. Why I cannot hang all the time with straight friends without them feeling in danger!

tobythecat

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Thats it. I like cars, sports, building, all heavy work stuff. Most of the people don't believe I am gay but when I disclose that information, many change and feel in danger. That's annoying.
Why do they feel "in danger"? Are you a "dangerous person because of you sexuality? Of course not.

Why shouldn't Gay men like you have an interest in so called Straight stuff like sports/cars etc. I can see why that's annoying to you.

Perhaps you should ask them about their change in perception to you.
 

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Thats it. I like cars, sports, building, all heavy work stuff. Most of the people don't believe I am gay but when I disclose that information, many change and feel in danger. That's annoying.
You can try speaking to a hot woman and see if there is a change when she finds out you are gay and then ask her if she thought you were hitting on her and if she relaxed after knowing you were gay.
You can find a hot woman on Malibu near a mansion that looks like a dollhouse I mean your only interest are focused on things that have more male followers, sounds like a strategy to get potential dates. You missed the iron industry "everybody dance now"
I'm straight and I don't share most of your interest
 

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I'll put it like this OP, of the many questions posed by gay and bisexual men in this particular section, you are probably part of the 1-5% that are not seeking some loophole to sexually engage with straight men.
Though I've never posed a threat to anybody a day in my life, I'm not so naive to not understand why some 5'6" white woman might be a little apprehensive if she saw my 6'3" black ass behind her in a dark alley.
Your beef isn't with with the straight men in these spaces, your beef is with so many of your fellow gay men, whom make it very clear they're seeking access to these straight men in these spaces.
 

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Anyone who is straight would not fear someone who is gay. It means they have some repressed fears.
Or perhaps that "fear" is actually an aversion to highly probable sexualization from unwanted sources, reinforced by the many gay men who show an overt preference for straight male based sexual content, open gyms and locker rooms, tips and tricks how to mentally judo flip instances of straight male vulnerability and platonic intimacy into sexual opportunities and homoerotic situations.
You don't fear turning your back to the well secured lions cage, but good common sense says you should never in any circumstances invite predation, even if its supposedly consequence free.
 
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o y
Or perhaps that "fear" is actually an aversion to highly probable sexualization from unwanted sources, reinforced by the many gay men who show an overt preference for straight male based sexual content, open gyms and locker rooms, tips and tricks how to mentally judo flip instances of straight male vulnerability and platonic intimacy into sexual opportunities and homoerotic situations.
You don't fear turning your back to the well secured lions cage, but good common sense says you should never in any circumstances invite predation, even if its supposedly consequence free.
So you are actually saying that there is genuine fear of me jerking off thinking of my mate...

Well, I've never found a friend sexually attractive, its like thinking of your brother naked. But I do find attractive a stranger in the gym shower who is not my friend.

So, following that logic, heterosexual friendship of a man and a woman cannot exist?
 

iamjustme65

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Meh... me thinks you are just saying this for attention.
Pre- 1990 or so... that experience would be normal. But even at that, it isn't a feeling of "danger" or fear based at all despite that is what some people want to claim.
A feeling of being uncomfortable around someone is not fear.. you are not scared of them, just not comfortable.
But that is the old days, obviously I know several gay men and I don't really see anyone treating them any different than anyone else.
 

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Thats it. I like cars, sports, building, all heavy work stuff. Most of the people don't believe I am gay but when I disclose that information, many change and feel in danger. That's annoying.
I have known a few gay men in my life that could very easily 'pass for straight' because there was absolutely nothing stereotypically 'gay' about them. Like you, they enjoyed all the stereotypical "straight" things.

Was I caught be surprised when these guys mentioned they were gay? Yes (this was loooong ago), but that was it. Okay, you're gay, pass the chips.
 
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Thats it. I like cars, sports, building, all heavy work stuff. Most of the people don't believe I am gay but when I disclose that information, many change and feel in danger. That's annoying.
To be perfectly honest. I think that straight guys who become friends very soon after meeting will very likely put you in the 'straight' category. Then when they find out that they were totally wrong about the way they saw you, it probably scares them.

My buddy is gay. I thought he was straight. I'm not good at knowing who is who anymore.
If I liked him, maybe I'm also not as straight as I thought.

People get spooked.

Just wait until you tell someone you are BI. Then everyone runs away at the speed of light.

Huggs to you.
 
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Sagittarius84

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So, following that logic, heterosexual friendship of a man and a woman cannot exist?

Or perhaps that "fear" is actually an aversion to highly probable sexualization from unwanted sources,
The biggest problem in heterosexual intergender friendships is always purported as sexual attraction, when really the issue typically is one is attracted when the other is not. Mutually attracted or averse men and women have few issues with friendships, and generally, because of how preselection works in women's mating and dating choices, as well as our largely opportunistic mating strategies, men are positively receptive to sexual attraction, even from a woman he isn't necessarily attracted to. Basically there doesn't really exist an unwanted or non beneficial source of positive female sexual attention to straight men.

There are.....more issues when the disparity in attraction is reversed amongst the genders, which tends to be the nexus of the debate.
 

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Thats it. I like cars, sports, building, all heavy work stuff. Most of the people don't believe I am gay but when I disclose that information, many change and feel in danger. That's annoying.
Being single can imply you're looking, and dealing with single straight guys can be difficult because your presence may actually be deleterious to them in certain ways...So a more comfortable way to integrate with straight guys doing "straight guy stuff " may be after you have a significant other, or if you were introduced to the significant others of female friends.
 

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To be perfectly honest. I think that straight guys who become friends very soon after meeting will very likely put you in the 'straight' category. Then when they find out that they were totally wrong about the way they saw you, it probably scares them.

My buddy is gay. I thought he was straight. I'm not good at knowing who is who anymore.
If I liked him, maybe I'm also not as straight as I thought.

People get spooked.

Just wait until you tell someone you are BI. Then everyone runs away at the speed of light.

Huggs to you.
I am so glad someone gets what I mean. I have been happy partnered for 12 years and the amount of bullshit and stereotypes I get here just confirmed my theory. I am not looking for attention or to seduce anybody. From now on I'll just pretend to be straight with close minded people, much easier. Have a good life you all!
 

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Being single can imply you're looking, and dealing with single straight guys can be difficult because your presence may actually be deleterious to them in certain ways...So a more comfortable way to integrate with straight guys doing "straight guy stuff " may be after you have a significant other, or if you were introduced to the significant others of female friends.
There's that old saying "Birds of a feather flock together." Maybe being perceived as 100% straight to some people is important. There are lots of same sex attracted people who absolutely go out of their way to perceived as 100% straight as well.

The male ego is very fragile.

Their sexuality is also very fragile, which can make some guys very over protective of their presentation.

Most men get older and then no longer need to protect their 100% gold star straight presentation.
 

Sagittarius84

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The male ego is very fragile.

Their sexuality is also very fragile, which can make some guys very over protective of their presentation.

Most men get older and then no longer need to protect their 100% gold star straight presentation.
I think this notion is percieved in a vacuum. Our ego and our sexuality exists proportionate to our status and our sexual appeal, and with cis women being our sole desired consumers, said things are objectively extremely fragile. A world where women generally appreciate men, and whose attractions mirrors those men have for women generally, is one where the male ego and straight sexuality can be relaxed. Conversely solipsism, and sexual fluidity run rampant amongst women, whom are almost guaranteed attention, attraction, and compliance from a significant portion of men no matter what lifestyle choices she makes.

It doesn't surprise me that older men can relax because they have either reached an echelon of attraction via status or socioeconomic stability, or the rock bottom where the only opportunities to be afforded in any abundance will be those that aren't hetero in nature.