I think I have a date Wed night. And it scares me.

airc3

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Well she texted me tonight after our outing saying "we can take over the world together." but then my friend, who is also her friend of 10+ years, says he thinks she';s just probably looking for a friend right now and we relate well. He's hanging out with one of her friends also, so I guess that's that.

But she certainly led me on. I won't let it happen again.

Then again maybe my friend has no idea what he's talking about. This chic also wants me to join her bowling club.
 
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airc3

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This is excellent. I don't know what to think, I don't have the social skills/experience for this. If she just wants to be friends, why do we go out alone? Where is everyone else? Why does she get all flirty with me, always sit near me, etc? I mean, how else am I supposed to take a text like "we can take over the world together"? And why is she planning future dates for us?

Here's what I'm thinking. We're going on "pre" dates. She just got out of a relationship and is probably confused and skeptical. I think we're both emotionally confused. I'll go one a few more "dates" with her and see if she offers to pay. After a few weeks I think we'll have to have a discussion about wtf is going on. I like her, but I don't want to bc I don't want to get burned. After a few weeks it's got to be, "do you like me or not? are we going on dates?"

Ah, don't think of it like that. It wasn't money wasted. She might just like you, like you and have the same concerns you have -- your mutual friends, jumping into something, so on.

She could think you don't want to jump into something...you said she knows you are a virgin, well, maybe she's respecting that. Maybe all guys have simply just wanted a fuck and with you she can simply have fun and see where you both go. If she went up at the offer of drinks, she might feel like she was saying 'let's fuck' and so on.....

So much you don't know. Don't jump to conclusions. Don't over think it. Maybe text her? You said she was a text girl. Aren't you two going out Saturday? If so, text her tomorrow to see if she wants to go somewhere before hand. Hasn't she made all the moves so far? She might be over thinking this as much as you -- for instance, if two days ago, she said she was going to sleep around, she might have gotten home and thought about how you might have taken that, like she was slut or something. She might have over thought her end, so....all I'm saying is calm down. LOL.

If she's hanging out with other people, well, okay, but don't jump to a conclusion that she's brushing you off.

Did you have fun?
Did she have fun?
Do you want to see her again, or do you simply want to have sex?
Could she want more than sex from you, and therefore is slowing down?

Lots to think about, I guess! I hope I helped out, but really, it's all up to you and what you think/feel.
 

libralover4u2

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Perhaps you think too much! Just relax, enjoy her company, and stop worrying about what others think or getting laid all the time. The $65 was OK for a nice meal out with drinks, but don't think you have to take her to an upscale place all the time. You are in DC, the movies, with snacks, wine, and beer at E Street Cinema can be a nice evening for less than $30. There are lots of things you can do in DC without a big bill. Check the Friday Washington Post Weekend Insert with her and the two of you plan on some things that you like. Even things like going to the gym or taking a long jog around the Tidal Basin this time of year is a super way to spend time together. And, at some point if she wants to return to your place and shower together, just go with the flow. Got bikes? Great way to see DC and spend a Saturday or Sunday afternoon together. If she is planning future dates for the two of you, that means she enjoys your company. Remember, it is not the designation, but the journey that gives the most joy.
 

D_Bubba_Butter

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After a few weeks I think we'll have to have a discussion about wtf is going on. I like her, but I don't want to bc I don't want to get burned. After a few weeks it's got to be, "do you like me or not? are we going on dates?"

So, she's after a henchman to be involved in holding the world to ransom?

Seriously, if you're thinking this now, you're likely to be investing too much in this girl, it'll change your behaviour towards her & you'll end up being taken for a ride or getting hurt. Relax. & let her pay next time.

Remember that she didn't just dump her previous bf - he cheated on her. She has a point to prove to herself & him. Be careful.
 

rtg

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I think she's just looking for some male attention personally.

And what's wrong with just being friends? It's flattering if someone wants to be your friend and you should take it as a compliment that she wants to hang out with you alone.

Not everyone has bad intentions, don't over analyse it too much dude. You might scare her away....even as a friend. She might just be a flirty person, a lot of women are. I definitely am and my guy friends know that this is just how I am.
 

Mercurygirl

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You were correct about one thing, you have some self-esteem issues. Seriously, you're your worst enemy. You went from not wanting to have a relationship with this girl for fear of alienating your circle of friends to now acting slighted (and may I say even jealous) in which you've even set in your head a timeline to nail her to a cross.

If you were a different type of guy you probably could have fucked her within a couple hours of her telling you a few days ago she wanted to sleep around. It seems to me she was open to that idea but two days of clearing her head has closed that window in regard to you and perhaps others. The female psyche is a fickle beast my friend. Especially when we're going through relationship issues, in her case, the break up with her boyfriend.

"She offered to pay her share" OK, does that translate into her using you? No, you offered to pay, be a man and suck it up. If you go out again and she makes some excuse not to pay, call her on it. "I thought you said you were picking up this one, I didn't bring my wallet." Certainly don't let her use you. Stand up for yourself if that's her game. But something tells me it's not.

The one thing she did do wrong was the time she spent on her phone. I would definitely have called her on that. You don't go have a dinner date with someone, friends or more, and spend it on your phone. That's just fucking rude.

Another thing. If you really wanted to know what she wanted you should of invited her up for drinks and not just say, "I'm having drinks" and wait for her to invite herself up. You need to be a little more proactive.
 

airc3

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After thinking about it more I do think she's just a pretty, flirty girl who likes attention from guys. We are friends, and that's it. I think the best thing for me to do is to not see her alone again, just in our group of friends. If we keep going on these little outings together I'm going to develop strong feelings for her that are more than friendship and I can't let that happen.

So basically, I went on a date and have to cut off the relationship because I enjoyed myself too much. How fucking backwards.
 
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airc3

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Why? So she could go back to her friends and tell them I'm some kind of sexual predator? She told me that if one of their guy friends ever got drunk and touchy feely with them, he'd be out of the group, period. I'll take her word for it.

Another thing. If you really wanted to know what she wanted you should of invited her up for drinks and not just say, "I'm having drinks" and wait for her to invite herself up. You need to be a little more proactive.
 

NotSoDumb_Blonde

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After thinking about it more I do think she's just a pretty, flirty girl who likes attention from guys. We are friends, and that's it. I think the best thing for me to do is to not see her alone again, just in our group of friends. If we keep going on these little outings together I'm going to develop strong feelings for her that are more than friendship and I can't let that happen.

So basically, I went on a date and have to cut off the relationship because I enjoyed myself too much. How fucking backwards.

*sigh* You said yourself this is backward thinking. Just. Let. It. BE.

See what happens and I agree with rtg, what's wrong with being her friend?

And why do you have to get drunk and do the touchy feely? You are over thinking this. If you want a chance with her....guess what? You have to take the chance! You might get hurt. Yep. You might get sex. Yep. You might not get either. Maybe you'll become close friends and last I checked, no one really has enough close friends....but maybe you do??? Seriously, I'm telling you, slow down and just see what happens. Do the alone time things, dates, and just ask her what's up. Something like: "So, I was wondering why you and I have been going out?" Not a big deal, not really. It does't make you look insecure, it makes you look intelligent and strong. You're thinking about it, you ask. End of story.

Unless you guys are like 19? I thought you both were in your late twenties?

Best of luck with whatever you do, but really, in life? It's just one big chance after another. You'll never know if you don't take one what you COULD have had/experienced. Do I wish I'd never had my heart broken? Sure, of course. Would I change my past/not meet the guy who broke it, lose all those memories? No way man. I want those memories even if I don't want him any longer. Does that make sense??

bj
 

airc3

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So my friend asked her if we went on a date. Her reply? "Are you kidding? You think I'm that desperate?" So much for that. Talk about mixed signals. Maybe I'll wait another 6 years to try again.
 

achillesx

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You're friend zoned bro, talk to the other girls in your friend circle, and let them be your wing girls for you.

You're not getting this one, but there's plenty more out there. If you really are looking to lose your V card I suggest you start learning to be sociable and meeting people. It's uncomfortable, but you have to push yourself to achieve something new!
 

D_Bubba_Butter

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So my friend asked her if we went on a date. Her reply? "Are you kidding? You think I'm that desperate?" So much for that. Talk about mixed signals. Maybe I'll wait another 6 years to try again.

So she's basically just not a nice person... If she valued you, she wouldn't have phrased it like that.

There are plenty of lovely women out there. Go & look. If you've only got this group of friends, go & join a club or something - do art classes, book club, running club - to meet some new (nicer) people.