I think i was gaslighted any advice?

[286798]

but realistically Im never going to be the tattooed alternative type of guy she seems to be looking for.

Why on earth would you WANT TO BE the type of guy she is looking for? Seriously. She's shown you that she doesn't respect you, will not honor her debts, will use you, apparently continues to use you and will continue to do so as long as you let her.

 

[rtg]

Little belated but Happy Canadian Thanksgiving hope you all had a good one or Columbus Day and an update..

I ended up going over to her apartment yesterday for a couple hours and the new boyfriend was there, nice enough guy and I tried being cordial/make a few jokes, my original concern about the cat/tattoos does seem to have been invalid as we all discussed putting him down and her getting a new kitten which is something I wondered about.

About an hour in she went to get the kids from her friends apartment nearby and when they were coming back along the path I could hear her son calling my name 11 floors up, then they both ran up to me to show me new homework and toys.

Not sure if she was trying to make her boyfriend jealous, just the way she is or because we genuinely hadn't seen each other in a while but apart from asking him whats wrong or why he was being grumpy she seemed to talk mostly to me, he did seem visibly moody mostly staying out on the balcony with a smoke or quiet on his phone unless directly talked to so not sure what was up with that.

All in all I feel like I did get a bit of closure on the situation, it felt a lot less awkward after the first few minutes then I thought it be, it will still take some time to settle but realistically Im never going to be the tattooed alternative type of guy she seems to be looking for.

Why are you even still wasting time on her? For the sake of self respect move on. She used you dude. She treated you like dirt. Then when you saw her her new guy was there too? What a slap in the face. Get this woman out of your life. Seriously.

 

[The Meat Rod Cometh]

Hi there im in a bit of an odd situation right now.. bit of a long post but I need to vent it a bit

Over the past year and a half I have been hanging out with this girl and her two young kids, were both 23 and it was quite a nice time. We met when both improving some credits at an Adult Education Center and over the course of the school year and this past one would go to the mall or park etc all the time with the kids (at least once or twice a week) and she knew I had a thing for her from school on and teased me a lot about it in a knowing way but gave off hints here and there to, she had seen a picture of me by accident when using my phone so that was something she always brought up smiling and jokingly to which made me feel more comfortable with her, one of the few people I have ever been able to have a comfortable silence with as well.

I basically stopped communication with most of my other regular female friends/potential relationships over her just because I got in routine/comfortable I suppose.. One night halfway through August she asked me to stay and cuddle as we watched Fantastic Beasts, things got a bit heavy and we got to second base before her daughter woke up.. I didn't know to what extent if she had been harboring feelings for me as after a few odd times where we didn't talk there had to be a reason she kept inviting me back into her life although my own desire had been waning over time so that kind of pulled me back in, a hug turned into holding her in my arms for a few minutes before I left which was more vulnerable then I think I had ever seen her.

And then the next day she was posting on instagram a picture with a caption like "screw you for making me feel ugly etc" on a picture when for me it was a great if not a bit confusing of a night.. I can understand feeling regret over it perhaps because of the child/father situation but still definitely brought me to a low point.

2 weeks later she messaged saying she had just wanted to cuddle (she had been grinding against me, running her fingernails down my arm and then put my hand under her bra so I was kind of wondering what the hell at first) so I apologized to just put it past us then she asked me for some money to help with rent which I gave her with her saying she would pay me back once she got her college money from the government though realistically I knew Ide probably write it off in time.

I didn't hear from her again for a week and then she came back asking for $300 for her sick cat which seemed fishy timing wise but I didn't want to question and some money for groceries and then again $100 for medication for him a few days later.

Now she had started college just around this time with government financial aid (osap) here in Ontario and I knew we would probably grow apart as happens but in the past month she has gotten like 5 tattoos and a new boyfriend so overcame some of those anxieties I guess, I new at the end of the day we weren't meant to be but at the same time the whole situation is just very odd for me.

$1000 is barely anything in the grand scheme of things and like I say I basically wrote it off in my mind as a gift anyways but she didn't know that.. it wasn't meant to be a test but after a few weeks and her not bringing it up and eventually just not messaging it really feels like I got used in a way or if she did have good intentions at the start it is certainly sad to see her ghost me over money, either way she either used what I gave her on her tattoos as I never heard anything really about her cat and the onetime I asked about his kidney health she was super vague or she put it to good use and would just rather ghost me then even bring it up.

I guess a good lesson in life going forward but my trust is certainly shaken :/ I have lost in the region of 200 Lbs in the past few years at this point and had a few short relationships but this just felt like something that could have become my first serious adult relationship.. people would walk up and ask if I was her husband or just presume it, a nice life experience going forward but on the other hand a disappointing one.

She was just an emotional, manipulative bitch dude.
That's the reality of it.

You have the right positive attitude of moving forward with focus and having learned valuable lessons.

Thanks for sharing in honesty.

 

[sangheili90]

Do you know what my ex-husband told my sister? He said that he didn't worry that he wasn't supporting his child because he knew I was going to do a fine job of it.

Do you have any idea how happy that made me when I heard it? But it's not his fault, right? Because he knew I could handle it. He said I had the drive, determination and smarts to do what I needed to do to make sure she was cared for,

And you know what? He was right! But that doesn't absolve him of shit. We were married. I got pregnant with him. He can't take that sperm back. But he sure as hell took those vows back.

He was not a deadbeat when we were married. He had a pretty good job, and so did I. We paid our bills. We were the perfect example of a cute little family. Except his family was more extended than I knew.

Sweetheart, you've wasted more than your time - you've wasted mine and anyone else reading your misogynistic drivel. I've met men like you in my line of work. They don't work with me anymore, and we're both quite excited about that.

I made it just fine on my own. My daughter has a wonderful father, and he's the only dad she ever knew. None of that absolves her sperm donor of his obligations, which currently total over $80,000.

One day, when you're old enough you will live in the real world and see how things really work. All of this computer chair philosophizing will one day seem so silly to you, and you'll be embarrassed. I won't judge you for that. But I'll be happy that you learned from your mistakes. At least I sincerely hope you will.

That's a nice story but it doesn't disprove anything I said about single mothers, to clarify I was referring to them as a group and not you as an individual.....was pretty clear but you decided to address this from a personal stand point.

I'm not a misogynist, I just hate stupid women who go around acting like victims and feel entitled because they couldn't find a good man and ended up getting pregnant by some loser. Instead of saying "yeah I fucked up and paying the price" they respond by saying how strong and empowered they are, how they don't need a man but yet act entitled. Why the hell do you think black America is fucked beyond hope, it's because 70% of them don't even know who their father is, that is an actual number.

I remember getting into this with that trash @swoon a year ago, another stupid single mother. I remember telling her how I would have been 26 at the time, I have a nice house that is paid off in a good neighborhood, I'm financially set and can live a very comfortable life. I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke or have a gambling problem. I take care of myself, live an active lifestyle, have a broad variety of hobbies and interests and educated, and in addition to all of this I'm 6'4", fit, handsome and have a big dick lol. Her response was that none of those are positive qualities.......and she wonders why she is a single mother lol. Women like this wouldn't have a fucking clue, which is the reason why they are single mothers.

 

[sangheili90]

Little belated but Happy Canadian Thanksgiving hope you all had a good one or Columbus Day and an update..

I ended up going over to her apartment yesterday for a couple hours and the new boyfriend was there, nice enough guy and I tried being cordial/make a few jokes, my original concern about the cat/tattoos does seem to have been invalid as we all discussed putting him down and her getting a new kitten which is something I wondered about.

About an hour in she went to get the kids from her friends apartment nearby and when they were coming back along the path I could hear her son calling my name 11 floors up, then they both ran up to me to show me new homework and toys.

Not sure if she was trying to make her boyfriend jealous, just the way she is or because we genuinely hadn't seen each other in a while but apart from asking him whats wrong or why he was being grumpy she seemed to talk mostly to me, he did seem visibly moody mostly staying out on the balcony with a smoke or quiet on his phone unless directly talked to so not sure what was up with that.

All in all I feel like I did get a bit of closure on the situation, it felt a lot less awkward after the first few minutes then I thought it be, it will still take some time to settle but realistically Im never going to be the tattooed alternative type of guy she seems to be looking for.

I love how this post just proves my point about single mothers, scary to think that this is becoming socially acceptable in America.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Hey @sangheili90 ... How about you go ask your mother how much she regrets pushing you out?

 

[twoton]

Hey @sangheili90 ... How about you go ask your mother how much she regrets pushing you out?

How do you know she pushed him out? Maybe he's still living in a man cave in her basement.

 

[twoton]

Little belated but Happy Canadian Thanksgiving hope you all had a good one or Columbus Day and an update..

I ended up going over to her apartment yesterday for a couple hours and the new boyfriend was there, nice enough guy and I tried being cordial/make a few jokes,

Wow. You are really getting strung along, my friend. She has you at the apartment while the new boyfriend is there? She's using you to get to him, and you're being such a nice guy, just trying to be supportive, just trying to save whatever dignity you can salvage, trying to take the high road.
Dude. You've used up your last bit of sympathy. From here on out, you get what ever she throws at you.

 

[deleted924715]

I'm not a misogynist, I just hate stupid women who go around acting like victims and feel entitled because they couldn't find a good man and ended up getting pregnant by some loser. Instead of saying "yeah I fucked up and paying the price" they respond by saying how strong and empowered they are, how they don't need a man but yet act entitled. Why the hell do you think black America is fucked beyond hope, it's because 70% of them don't even know who their father is, that is an actual number.

Yeah... look up 'misogynist'

Y u so mad bro?

I remember getting into this with that trash @swoon a year ago, another stupid single mother. I remember telling her how I would have been 26 at the time, I have a nice house that is paid off in a good neighborhood, I'm financially set and can live a very comfortable life. I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke or have a gambling problem. I take care of myself, live an active lifestyle, have a broad variety of hobbies and interests and educated, and in addition to all of this I'm 6'4", fit, handsome and have a big dick lol. Her response was that none of those are positive qualities.......and she wonders why she is a single mother lol. Women like this wouldn't have a fucking clue, which is the reason why they are single mothers.

Yet NO WOMAN WANTS YOU.

Why do you think that is?

Absolutely NONE of the things you listed will override your personality, or entitle you to a woman.

Single mothers don't concern you - why are you so concerned with them? That visible reminder that they are sexually active, just not with you, seems to cut you deep.

I wish I could offer words of comfort, but you are a repulsive person and will always be on the outside looking in.

 

[MisterB]

That's a nice story but it doesn't disprove anything I said about single mothers, to clarify I was referring to them as a group and not you as an individual.....was pretty clear but you decided to address this from a personal stand point.

I'm not a misogynist, I just hate stupid women who go around acting like victims and feel entitled because they couldn't find a good man and ended up getting pregnant by some loser. Instead of saying "yeah I fucked up and paying the price" they respond by saying how strong and empowered they are, how they don't need a man but yet act entitled. Why the hell do you think black America is fucked beyond hope, it's because 70% of them don't even know who their father is, that is an actual number.

I remember getting into this with that trash @swoon a year ago, another stupid single mother. I remember telling her how I would have been 26 at the time, I have a nice house that is paid off in a good neighborhood, I'm financially set and can live a very comfortable life. I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke or have a gambling problem. I take care of myself, live an active lifestyle, have a broad variety of hobbies and interests and educated, and in addition to all of this I'm 6'4", fit, handsome and have a big dick lol. Her response was that none of those are positive qualities.......and she wonders why she is a single mother lol. Women like this wouldn't have a fucking clue, which is the reason why they are single mothers.

Your post above is the blueprint to your soul, and it ain't pretty.

First things first...you've got verrry little experience with women; it's obvious from this and many other posts around LPSG that women intimidate you. Yet you seem to believe you know what women think/want, especially single mothers. Sweeping generalizations do not equate to real life experience. You need to get out more.

Women here have tried to help you get some game, but since you know everything, when you don't hear what you want to hear, instead of listening, you start calling names. How's that working for getting you laid, let alone some type of relationship with the opposite sex?

What you are is insecure. It reeks though many of your posts. Especially those where you need to remind LPSGland what a fine physical specimen you are. Even if you are exactly what you describe above, once anyone gets past the "handsome and tall and hung and built like a brick shit house" facade, all they see is an empty vessel. There's nothing there.

You've done the easy part. That hardest work is yet to be done--on the nonphysical part of you.

Lastly, you claim not to be a misogynist, but you are clearly a WOMAN HATER. Tell me what's the difference oh wise one? You generalize, and then generalize some more. You got nothing, so you are just typing some drivel that I assume makes YOU feel better.

To borrow a phrase from one of my favorite songs, The Greatest Love, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." You need to get busy, very busy.

 

[rtg]

Your post above is the blueprint to your soul, and it ain't pretty.

First things first...you've got verrry little experience with women; it's obvious from this and many other posts around LPSG that women intimidate you. Yet you seem to believe you know what women think/want, especially single mothers. Sweeping generalizations do not equate to real life experience. You need to get out more.

Women here have tried to help you get some game, but since you know everything, when you don't hear what you want to hear, instead of listening, you start calling names. How's that working for getting you laid, let alone some type of relationship with the opposite sex?

What you are is insecure. It reeks though many of your posts. Especially those where you need to remind LPSGland what a fine physical specimen you are. Even if you are exactly what you describe above, once anyone gets past the "handsome and tall and hung and built like a brick shit house" facade, all they see is an empty vessel. There's nothing there.

You've done the easy part. That hardest work is yet to be done--on the nonphysical part of you.

Lastly, you claim not to be a misogynist, but you are clearly a WOMAN HATER. Tell me what's the difference oh wise one? You generalize, and then generalize some more. You got nothing, so you are just typing some drivel that I assume makes YOU feel better.

To borrow a phrase from one of my favorite songs, The Greatest Love, "Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all." You need to get busy, very busy.

I wish there was a love button on here, because liking this post merely doesn't suffice.

 

[EllieP]

@sangheili90 I'm so sorry, but I didn't realize that I was debating someone with no experience with relationships, good or bad. Please do not try to interpret my stories. There's no meaning in them for anyone else but me.

I will be more than happy to discuss life events with you after you happen to experience a few. Until then you're talking theory, and I'm talking practicum.

One of my good friends has a daughter who became a pediatrician a few years back. She's so cute and smart. She got married a couple of years later and had a beautiful little boy. I got a chance to visit about a year later, and she told me that she felt like she needed to go to every parent of every child she's ever treated and say "I'm so sorry I told you that. I had no idea!" It was hilarious. She knew all the theory but had no practical experience with children. And everything she thought she knew was wrong outside of medicine.

Like I said. It's just a story that means something to me. So I guess it might be explaining where I'm coming from, not that I think you need to know since you already know just about everything.

I will only offer one piece of advice: go and buy the largest virtual crowbar you can find and open your mind. It's way too young to be so closed.

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

That's a nice story but it doesn't disprove anything I said about single mothers, to clarify I was referring to them as a group and not you as an individual.....was pretty clear but you decided to address this from a personal stand point.

I'm not a misogynist, I just hate stupid women who go around acting like victims and feel entitled because they couldn't find a good man and ended up getting pregnant by some loser. Instead of saying "yeah I fucked up and paying the price" they respond by saying how strong and empowered they are, how they don't need a man but yet act entitled. Why the hell do you think black America is fucked beyond hope, it's because 70% of them don't even know who their father is, that is an actual number.

I remember getting into this with that trash @swoon a year ago, another stupid single mother. I remember telling her how I would have been 26 at the time, I have a nice house that is paid off in a good neighborhood, I'm financially set and can live a very comfortable life. I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke or have a gambling problem. I take care of myself, live an active lifestyle, have a broad variety of hobbies and interests and educated, and in addition to all of this I'm 6'4", fit, handsome and have a big dick lol. Her response was that none of those are positive qualities.......and she wonders why she is a single mother lol. Women like this wouldn't have a fucking clue, which is the reason why they are single mothers.

Lol, yeah right......Mr. BeenLaidOnce. Tell us about quality women. What's the secret of your success in dating?

 

[deleted924715]

Lol, yeah right......Mr. BeenLaidOnce. Tell us about quality women. What's the secret of your success in dating?

If he had even a hint of a sense of humour, I'd think his post was tongue-in-cheek... but I've never seen one. Ever.

 

[950483]

That's a nice story but it doesn't disprove anything I said about single mothers, to clarify I was referring to them as a group and not you as an individual.....was pretty clear but you decided to address this from a personal stand point.

I'm not a misogynist, I just hate stupid women who go around acting like victims and feel entitled because they couldn't find a good man and ended up getting pregnant by some loser. Instead of saying "yeah I fucked up and paying the price" they respond by saying how strong and empowered they are, how they don't need a man but yet act entitled. Why the hell do you think black America is fucked beyond hope, it's because 70% of them don't even know who their father is, that is an actual number.

I remember getting into this with that trash @swoon a year ago, another stupid single mother. I remember telling her how I would have been 26 at the time, I have a nice house that is paid off in a good neighborhood, I'm financially set and can live a very comfortable life. I don't drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke or have a gambling problem. I take care of myself, live an active lifestyle, have a broad variety of hobbies and interests and educated, and in addition to all of this I'm 6'4", fit, handsome and have a big dick lol. Her response was that none of those are positive qualities.......and she wonders why she is a single mother lol. Women like this wouldn't have a fucking clue, which is the reason why they are single mothers.

So nothing much has changed in your miserable life over the past year then?

https://www.lpsg.com/threads/the-empowered-woman-according-to-lpsg.457337/

https://www.lpsg.com/threads/fascinating-video-about-sex-statistics.455438/#post-6140202

https://www.lpsg.com/threads/update-on-my-pursuit-of-women.455960/

https://www.lpsg.com/threads/do-you-think-that-dating-is-harder-now-than-it-used-to-be.455303/

That is a terrible shame. I was having a lot more fun in my 20's than you seem to be. Even though I'm 38 I'm still enjoying my 20's due to the fact that I look like I am in my mid 20's. Having my cake, and eating it, and then having another slice of cake.

If you ever manage to get over your twisted, spiteful, racist, stunted, miserly, misogynist, substandard, sordid self, you might be happier. You'd still be stupid, but you might be happier, just an idea.

 

[deleted924715]

@sangheili90
I will be more than happy to discuss life events with you after you happen to experience a few. Until then you're talking theory, and I'm talking practicum.

You mean your actual life experience is superior to that thing he read on that website which that bitter dude wrote? Well that can't be right.

Nevermind your happy, solid marriage, successful career doing something you love, amazing daughter now making her own way in life and overall comfortable and contented life - you're a low quality woman and a loser because:

a) You contracted your ex's 'qualities' through osmosis and therefore he is no longer responsible for his own actions - you are. You must have accidentally rolled over onto his pillow during the night. Oops.
b) We all know women are merely a reflected image of the worst man they have been in a relationship with
c) You must be punished for having sex. Oh it was with your husband...? Hmmm. Nah, you still must be punished for having sex, you're so selfish reminding him he isn't getting any, flaunting your child-bearing ways
b) He read it on the interwebz so it must be true

 

[185248]

My advice? Just don't stand to close to a naked flame if you be gaseous. Bloody common sense will keep you out of trouble 95.5% of the time. The other 4.5% is what people tend to make the most use of.

 

[Itsmeandyou]

Hi there im in a bit of an odd situation right now.. bit of a long post but I need to vent it a bit

Over the past year and a half I have been hanging out with this girl and her two young kids, were both 23 and it was quite a nice time. We met when both improving some credits at an Adult Education Center and over the course of the school year and this past one would go to the mall or park etc all the time with the kids (at least once or twice a week) and she knew I had a thing for her from school on and teased me a lot about it in a knowing way but gave off hints here and there to, she had seen a picture of me by accident when using my phone so that was something she always brought up smiling and jokingly to which made me feel more comfortable with her, one of the few people I have ever been able to have a comfortable silence with as well.

I basically stopped communication with most of my other regular female friends/potential relationships over her just because I got in routine/comfortable I suppose.. One night halfway through August she asked me to stay and cuddle as we watched Fantastic Beasts, things got a bit heavy and we got to second base before her daughter woke up.. I didn't know to what extent if she had been harboring feelings for me as after a few odd times where we didn't talk there had to be a reason she kept inviting me back into her life although my own desire had been waning over time so that kind of pulled me back in, a hug turned into holding her in my arms for a few minutes before I left which was more vulnerable then I think I had ever seen her.

And then the next day she was posting on instagram a picture with a caption like "screw you for making me feel ugly etc" on a picture when for me it was a great if not a bit confusing of a night.. I can understand feeling regret over it perhaps because of the child/father situation but still definitely brought me to a low point.

2 weeks later she messaged saying she had just wanted to cuddle (she had been grinding against me, running her fingernails down my arm and then put my hand under her bra so I was kind of wondering what the hell at first) so I apologized to just put it past us then she asked me for some money to help with rent which I gave her with her saying she would pay me back once she got her college money from the government though realistically I knew Ide probably write it off in time.

I didn't hear from her again for a week and then she came back asking for $300 for her sick cat which seemed fishy timing wise but I didn't want to question and some money for groceries and then again $100 for medication for him a few days later.

Now she had started college just around this time with government financial aid (osap) here in Ontario and I knew we would probably grow apart as happens but in the past month she has gotten like 5 tattoos and a new boyfriend so overcame some of those anxieties I guess, I new at the end of the day we weren't meant to be but at the same time the whole situation is just very odd for me.

$1000 is barely anything in the grand scheme of things and like I say I basically wrote it off in my mind as a gift anyways but she didn't know that.. it wasn't meant to be a test but after a few weeks and her not bringing it up and eventually just not messaging it really feels like I got used in a way or if she did have good intentions at the start it is certainly sad to see her ghost me over money, either way she either used what I gave her on her tattoos as I never heard anything really about her cat and the onetime I asked about his kidney health she was super vague or she put it to good use and would just rather ghost me then even bring it up.

I guess a good lesson in life going forward but my trust is certainly shaken :/ I have lost in the region of 200 Lbs in the past few years at this point and had a few short relationships but this just felt like something that could have become my first serious adult relationship.. people would walk up and ask if I was her husband or just presume it, a nice life experience going forward but on the other hand a disappointing one.

Sounds like she was trying to screw you over...... and not in the pleasurable way.

 

[EllieP]

You mean your actual life experience is superior to that thing he read on that website which that bitter dude wrote? Well that can't be right.

Nevermind your happy, solid marriage, successful career doing something you love, amazing daughter now making her own way in life and overall comfortable and contented life - you're a low quality woman and a loser because:

a) You contracted your ex's 'qualities' through osmosis and therefore he is no longer responsible for his own actions - you are. You must have accidentally rolled over onto his pillow during the night. Oops.
b) We all know women are merely a reflected image of the worst man they have been in a relationship with
c) You must be punished for having sex. Oh it was with your husband...? Hmmm. Nah, you still must be punished for having sex, you're so selfish reminding him he isn't getting any, flaunting your child-bearing ways
b) He read it on the interwebz so it must be true

Just FYI, I liked this three times but only one showed up!

 

[deleted924715]

Just FYI, I liked this three times but only one showed up!

Haha well that's single mothers for ya - a bit too liberal with their lovin'