I think I went temporarily insane. . .

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Yummy, Oct 23, 2005.

  1. Yummy

    Yummy New Member

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    *sigh* Here we go. . . I'm new here, but I thought of the forums I'm a member of, and this might be the best place. So, I just dropped off a "friend" of mine. The problem is, I dropped him off after NOT having sex with him. I want to sleep with him, and he wants to sleep with me, however we usually don't both want one another at the same time. But I digress.

    I suppose my real question is: Should I have not slept with him tonight because he's on an abstinence kick, and I don't think he'd respect himself in the morning if we had sex tonight?

    This question is compounded by, even if we might have sex tomorrow?

    He's trying not to be a slut (which I agree with), but he really likes me. However, I told him I wouldn't have sex with him this evening because if he wanted to be abstinent, I was in full support. BUT I really really really want to sleep with him. How long do y'all think I should decline his offer before he won't be traumatized (he's been going for 2 weeks and 2 days, and damn near begged me to fuck him later tonight - after, of course, telling me about the abstinence thing)? :shrug:
     
  2. Pye

    Pye
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    If this was the first night you heard of his 'abstinence' kick you did the right thing. It also depends upon how you feel about him...if you want more than one night of sex with him- tell him that it can't be a one night thing-- be honest..keep friendship intact
     
  3. GoneA

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    I couldn't agree with Pye more. So, to save space.....ditto.


    BTW....if he does come to 'NOT respect himself' he'll get over it.
     
  4. madame_zora

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    Well, I agree with not coaxing someone into having sex if they are not in the right frame of mind for it, but I also think it's a bad idea to try to make someone else's decisions for them.

    You've been a good girl turning him down once, I think if he brings it up again, I'd just ask him if he wants to have sex with you more than he wants to remain abstinant. Let him know you expect him to stand behind his decision and not dump on you afterward for something he chose of his own free will. If he decides to keep bugging you for sex, who are you to refuse something you want anyway?
     
  5. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    If HE comes onto YOU and basically offers himself then I think that's his problem (if he even perceives it as a problem the next day...he might really like you and the sex you have).

    However, if it were you pressuring him, and basically seducing him, that would then be a bad thing and I bet he'd regret it and at least not like you for awhile. Since that isn't the case, next time he makes you an offer your body can't refuse, take it ;)

    Good luck...I have many tests and exams to do now :(

    *Back to work*
     
  6. Dr Rock

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    who lives in the east 'neath the willow tree? Sex
    what the fuck is abstinence
     
  7. DC_DEEP

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    Abstinence is the absence of fuck.
     
  8. DC_DEEP

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    Yummy, if he is a friend, has chosen to abstain for a while, and gets horny occasionally, you need to have that long talk and decide where you want the friendship to go. Be sure to tell him to give himself a hand first, to take the edge off, and also be sure no intoxicants are involved (funny thing with alcohol and recreational drugs, most tend to increase your horniness while decreasing your judgement.)

    I applaud you for not necessarily giving in to the heat of the moment (so to speak.) If more people could have just a little of your resolve, there would be far fewer broken marriages/relationships, diseases, and unwanted pregnancies.

    You sound like you "got it goin on". I'm sure you will do what is best. If the two of you DO end up in a sexual relationship, cool. If you don't, the world won't necessarily end, but you will still have a friend. Nothing wrong with a little unrequited lust.
     
  9. Dr Rock

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    Abstinence is the absence of fuck.
    [post=354499]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    I thought it was when someone was trying to quit drinking.

    why would anyone wanna quit having sex?? sounds like a fruitcake to me.
     
  10. Yummy

    Yummy New Member

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    He was taking a hiatus from sex partially because he was having too much of it lol. And thank you everyone for all the advice. DC DEEP, we were both fully sober at the time, and there were no drugs involved.

    He has since told me he wants to date me (actually, he'd like me to be his girlfriend, but I insist on the dating part first), so I'll see what he does from now on. Incidentally, he's supposed to be coming over tonight, and he hasn't shown up yet. . .
     
  11. GoneA

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    sure you still wanna be with him.
     
  12. Dr Rock

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    yeah, I still don't get it
     
  13. Yummy

    Yummy New Member

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    Well, I'm kind of looking at the situation as a test run. . . we'll try it out, if it works, great, if not, eh, shit happens.
     
  14. Dr Rock

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    yeah, i know the technical meaning of the term, i just thought it was generally applied to alcohol in the social context.
     
  15. Yummy

    Yummy New Member

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    Quick update.

    He's feeling better about it all now, so we went ahead and had sex last night. I'm quite pleased with the outcome, and he's put the whole relationship thing up for discussion, i.e. he really wants me to be his girlfriend. I suppose we'll talk about it and see where it goes from there. Thanks for all the replies!
     
  16. rawbone8

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    whooohooo

    that was QUITE a suspenseful interlude between posts while you two wore down his resolve – just kidding – best to ya
     
  17. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    Enjoying sex (or lots of sex) doesn't make anyone a slut.
    Abstinence (when he really wants to have sex) will drive him CRAZY.
    You decide what YOU want to do.
    You buy some condoms ( pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease would be a problem you don't want ).
    You seem to be the one who is thinking more clearly. Good for you.;)

    PS: Welcome to the group!
     
  18. Yummy

    Yummy New Member

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    I agree, enjoying a lot of sex doesn't make anyone a slut. He actually said he wasn't a whore. I asked him if he was charging people, and he said no, so I felt the need to inform him that one has to charge to be a whore, so at most he was a slut lol.

    Condoms were already purchased, and I think we're proceeding to that whole relationship thing - I'm going to have to get used to that!

    Thanks for the welcome, Caneadea :smile:
     
  19. B_caneadea

    B_caneadea New Member

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    CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!!!
    I LOVE a happy ending!.........................;)
     
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