Growing up i always stayed away from the urinals for some reason. I started using them recently and a few times Ive been pee shy. it doesnt happen every time bt Ill have to pee really bad, go to a urinal and cant go. Any tips/advice? I really have no problem being naked in front of other people or anything like that so I dont know why.
I think im a bit pee shy, how to treat?
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B_Italian1
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I've always been pee shy, and it's quite common. It started in school when everyone would rush into the bathroom to take a piss between classes. The pressure of having to do it quickly, not enough urinals available, and someone waiting behind me only added to the problem. If I walk into a bathroom and nobody is at the urinals I will use it. If there is someone there, I will go to the other end of the urinals, or just head for the stall. Some guys have no problem urinating in public, but those of us who can't, tense up our muscles too much. The only tip I would give you is to just relax; easier said than done. Or just head for the stall like I usually do. I figure I pee in private at home, so going out shouldn't be any different.
These folks have some excellent advice about treatment for peeshyness. I'm peeshy too and it is very inconvenient!
The most common treatment is gradual desensitization. You pee with a pal somewhere nearby and then eventually he gets closer and closer until he can watch you whip it out and pee without problem. Then you graduate to public restrooms doing the same thing, etc. until you can manage a packed trough without second thought.
The most common treatment is gradual desensitization. You pee with a pal somewhere nearby and then eventually he gets closer and closer until he can watch you whip it out and pee without problem. Then you graduate to public restrooms doing the same thing, etc. until you can manage a packed trough without second thought.
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I think it's like anything we get anxious about: thinking about it too much makes it worse. I'd suggest going and standing at a urinal once in awhile even when you don't have to go so that you help yourself feel like it's no big deal. I know I've had a few times when I thought I had to go and then didn't, but it's never become an issue for me.
Principessa
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Paruresis - The Bashful Bladder Syndrome
In contrast to physiological conditions like prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) that block the flow of urine, BBS is a psychological disorder that involves the urinary system. More precisely, BBS is a type of social phobia, meaning the paruretic is usually shy and fears being scrutinized or criticized by others when performing in public, in this case, urinating in a public restroom. The psychological conflict that generates this particular form of social phobia is expressed through the physical symptom of being unable to urinate whenever the person desires.
The experience of BBS varies somewhat from person to person; however, certain general patterns are evident. First, BBS occurs mostly in public restrooms, but it can also occur in the homes of friends and relatives, or even at home if visitors are nearby or a family member is waiting for the paruretic. Typically, though, she or he finds the home bathroom to be the only truly safe toilet, the only place where the paruretic is consistently able to urinate.
Second, BBS ranges in intensity from mild, in which the person can urinate in public facilities under certain circumstances, to severe, in which the person can only urinate when alone at home. Thus the degree of BBS hesitancy ranges from a momentary delay in initiating the process to chronic and acute retention. Most people occasionally experience at least some hesitancy in public restrooms, but this differs from BBS in the matter of degree and context. A person who every now and then must wait an extra second or two before being able to urinate is not a paruretic. Rather, BBS is often a life-long condition characterized by excessive hesitancy or a total inability to urinate. The problem also causes distress over everyday activities like travel, social engagements, long business meetings, and interferes in a significant way with the paruretics ability to carry on with these normal activities.
Third, most paruretics describe a personal comfort threshold required for urinating, whether in public facilities or at home. When this comfort threshold is eclipsed by too many negatives in a particular situation such as noise, odors, lack of visual privacy, and other people in the restroom talking, BBS kicks in and prevents the person from urinating at that time.
Typical Characteristics of BBS
What are some of the triggers for BBS? Paruretics most commonly refer to three triggers that influence them when in public restrooms. For the typical paruretic, these triggers must be removed, or the person must try another toilet for urination to occur on a particular occasion.
First, familiarity with other people present in the restroom can trigger BBS, with strangers usually (but certainly not always!) leading to greater inhibition than friends or relatives. Because of the personal nature of elimination, the degree of familiarity and perceived acceptance often determine whether or not the paruretic will successfully urinate.
Second, proximity plays a role in the problem. Proximity for the paruretic is both physical, involving the relative closeness of others in or near the restroom, and psychological, involving the need for privacy. The most frequent complaint about physical stimuli in public facilities is the absence of suitable partitions and doors on stalls. Many paruretics remark that they cannot urinate (or defecate) in a stall toilet if the door is missing. They feel embarrassed about their personal space being invaded visually.
Discomfort with lack of partitioning is central to the issue of perceived lack of privacy in public restrooms. Of course, the perception and need for privacy differ considerably across people. One individual is comfortable only at home with the bathroom door locked, while another is comfortable using a urinal in a crowded restroom. Paruretics tend toward the former.
Third, temporary psychological states, especially anxiety, anger, and fear, can interfere with urination. Social phobics who are overly sensitive about the sounds and smells they make while urinating are usually fearful of being criticized for such, which in turn arouses their nervous system. Also, excessive emotional states may explain why attempts to urinate under favorable conditions are often unsuccessful if the individual is overly excited or feels pressured to hurry.
Typical Behavioral Patterns
For some individuals BBS appears to start out of nowhere, but for most an unpleasant experience or group of experiences appear to precipitate the onset of the problem. In the case of the latter, after some negative event such as being unable to urinate in front of a nurse during a medical test, the individual begins to catastrophize; that is, he or she worries about being able to urinate next time he or she is in some type of public restroom. In this way performance anxiety, the key feature of social phobias, develops and becomes associated with urinating in the presence of others. The individual enters public restrooms with aroused sympathetic nervous system activity, which creates a level of anxiety that is incompatible with urinating. As each forcible attempt to control the process fails, increased performance anxiety due to mounting levels of sympathetic activity decreases the individuals chances of voiding at that time. In many cases this performance anxiety eventually generalizes to all or most public restrooms, so that the only safe toilet the person can reliably use is at home.
Generally, paruretics try to adjust to the problem by urinating as much as possible when at home and before leaving their home toilet, restricting the intake of fluids, and refusing extended social invitations. Most paruretics also perform a series of rituals, such as locating vacant restrooms whenever away from home, thinking of water when trying to urinate, and running the tap to optimize the chances of urinating under adverse conditions. Most commonly, though, paruretics cope by avoiding public restrooms at all costs.
HOW CAN I CURE PARURESIS?
Seek a medical evaluation before attempting to treat bashful bladder problem. Rule out a medical condition before diagnosing paruresis. However, a general rule of thumb is that if you can go at home when alone without a problem, but have difficulties in most or all social situations, then you probably suffers from paruresis.
The most commonly used treatment for bashful bladder involves the individual gradually attempting to urinate in more and more difficult locations. This treatment is usually called behavioral exposure therapy. Each session of exposure therapy involves several attempts at briefly urinating.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT PARURESIS
Concrete Steps
For those suffering from paruresis or who know of someone who suffers from this social phobia, there are things one can do:
Visit the website at International Paruresis Association Home Page and get the latest information about this anxiety disorder. There is a moderated discussion group accessible through the website, as well as a place to ask questions.
If you haven't done so, start talking to your loved ones, friends, relatives, and co-workers about paruresis. A very typical response is: Oh, I know someone who suffers from that, or even, You know, I have that problem too!
Join the International Paruresis Association (IPA), a tax-exempt, non-profit organization, to keep informed about the latest developments on the topic. The IPA, Inc. acts to educate the public, gather and disseminate useful information, and seek effective treatments for paruresis. Also, IPA can refer you to a cognitive-behavioral therapist to help you with your paruresis.
More than anything else, ongoing practice on a weekly, or even daily basis, will allow you to overcome or recover from your paruresis in a timely manner. Persistent, consistent practice is essential for improvement.
In contrast to physiological conditions like prostatitis (inflammation of the prostate) that block the flow of urine, BBS is a psychological disorder that involves the urinary system. More precisely, BBS is a type of social phobia, meaning the paruretic is usually shy and fears being scrutinized or criticized by others when performing in public, in this case, urinating in a public restroom. The psychological conflict that generates this particular form of social phobia is expressed through the physical symptom of being unable to urinate whenever the person desires.
The experience of BBS varies somewhat from person to person; however, certain general patterns are evident. First, BBS occurs mostly in public restrooms, but it can also occur in the homes of friends and relatives, or even at home if visitors are nearby or a family member is waiting for the paruretic. Typically, though, she or he finds the home bathroom to be the only truly safe toilet, the only place where the paruretic is consistently able to urinate.
Second, BBS ranges in intensity from mild, in which the person can urinate in public facilities under certain circumstances, to severe, in which the person can only urinate when alone at home. Thus the degree of BBS hesitancy ranges from a momentary delay in initiating the process to chronic and acute retention. Most people occasionally experience at least some hesitancy in public restrooms, but this differs from BBS in the matter of degree and context. A person who every now and then must wait an extra second or two before being able to urinate is not a paruretic. Rather, BBS is often a life-long condition characterized by excessive hesitancy or a total inability to urinate. The problem also causes distress over everyday activities like travel, social engagements, long business meetings, and interferes in a significant way with the paruretics ability to carry on with these normal activities.
Third, most paruretics describe a personal comfort threshold required for urinating, whether in public facilities or at home. When this comfort threshold is eclipsed by too many negatives in a particular situation such as noise, odors, lack of visual privacy, and other people in the restroom talking, BBS kicks in and prevents the person from urinating at that time.
Typical Characteristics of BBS
What are some of the triggers for BBS? Paruretics most commonly refer to three triggers that influence them when in public restrooms. For the typical paruretic, these triggers must be removed, or the person must try another toilet for urination to occur on a particular occasion.
First, familiarity with other people present in the restroom can trigger BBS, with strangers usually (but certainly not always!) leading to greater inhibition than friends or relatives. Because of the personal nature of elimination, the degree of familiarity and perceived acceptance often determine whether or not the paruretic will successfully urinate.
Second, proximity plays a role in the problem. Proximity for the paruretic is both physical, involving the relative closeness of others in or near the restroom, and psychological, involving the need for privacy. The most frequent complaint about physical stimuli in public facilities is the absence of suitable partitions and doors on stalls. Many paruretics remark that they cannot urinate (or defecate) in a stall toilet if the door is missing. They feel embarrassed about their personal space being invaded visually.
Discomfort with lack of partitioning is central to the issue of perceived lack of privacy in public restrooms. Of course, the perception and need for privacy differ considerably across people. One individual is comfortable only at home with the bathroom door locked, while another is comfortable using a urinal in a crowded restroom. Paruretics tend toward the former.
Third, temporary psychological states, especially anxiety, anger, and fear, can interfere with urination. Social phobics who are overly sensitive about the sounds and smells they make while urinating are usually fearful of being criticized for such, which in turn arouses their nervous system. Also, excessive emotional states may explain why attempts to urinate under favorable conditions are often unsuccessful if the individual is overly excited or feels pressured to hurry.
Typical Behavioral Patterns
For some individuals BBS appears to start out of nowhere, but for most an unpleasant experience or group of experiences appear to precipitate the onset of the problem. In the case of the latter, after some negative event such as being unable to urinate in front of a nurse during a medical test, the individual begins to catastrophize; that is, he or she worries about being able to urinate next time he or she is in some type of public restroom. In this way performance anxiety, the key feature of social phobias, develops and becomes associated with urinating in the presence of others. The individual enters public restrooms with aroused sympathetic nervous system activity, which creates a level of anxiety that is incompatible with urinating. As each forcible attempt to control the process fails, increased performance anxiety due to mounting levels of sympathetic activity decreases the individuals chances of voiding at that time. In many cases this performance anxiety eventually generalizes to all or most public restrooms, so that the only safe toilet the person can reliably use is at home.
Generally, paruretics try to adjust to the problem by urinating as much as possible when at home and before leaving their home toilet, restricting the intake of fluids, and refusing extended social invitations. Most paruretics also perform a series of rituals, such as locating vacant restrooms whenever away from home, thinking of water when trying to urinate, and running the tap to optimize the chances of urinating under adverse conditions. Most commonly, though, paruretics cope by avoiding public restrooms at all costs.
HOW CAN I CURE PARURESIS?
Seek a medical evaluation before attempting to treat bashful bladder problem. Rule out a medical condition before diagnosing paruresis. However, a general rule of thumb is that if you can go at home when alone without a problem, but have difficulties in most or all social situations, then you probably suffers from paruresis.
The most commonly used treatment for bashful bladder involves the individual gradually attempting to urinate in more and more difficult locations. This treatment is usually called behavioral exposure therapy. Each session of exposure therapy involves several attempts at briefly urinating.
WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT PARURESIS
Concrete Steps
For those suffering from paruresis or who know of someone who suffers from this social phobia, there are things one can do:
Visit the website at International Paruresis Association Home Page and get the latest information about this anxiety disorder. There is a moderated discussion group accessible through the website, as well as a place to ask questions.
If you haven't done so, start talking to your loved ones, friends, relatives, and co-workers about paruresis. A very typical response is: Oh, I know someone who suffers from that, or even, You know, I have that problem too!
Join the International Paruresis Association (IPA), a tax-exempt, non-profit organization, to keep informed about the latest developments on the topic. The IPA, Inc. acts to educate the public, gather and disseminate useful information, and seek effective treatments for paruresis. Also, IPA can refer you to a cognitive-behavioral therapist to help you with your paruresis.
More than anything else, ongoing practice on a weekly, or even daily basis, will allow you to overcome or recover from your paruresis in a timely manner. Persistent, consistent practice is essential for improvement.
B_Italian1
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I can go in other people's homes, but if I know someone is waiting it can cause minor problems.
That's what caused my problem initially. The elementary school I went to didn't have urinals. There was this long waterfall type thing that ran along the wall with no petitions. In high school there were urinals, but the other things I mentioned like having to pee under pressure between classes with other's behind you waiting.
I used to do that but not anymore.
lol No thanks! There seems to be an association for everything these days.
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I tend to be a bit pee-shy in public, too. However, I have found one bit of mental trickery that seems to work for me most of the time.
If I find I'm having trouble going, and there are other guys at adjacent urinals, I'll just fixate on a particular spot on the wall and imagine the sight and sound of a huge waterfall (think Niagara). Don't know why, but for some reason, this little trick usually starts the flow for me, and then I'm fine to finish my business with no hesitation.
If I find I'm having trouble going, and there are other guys at adjacent urinals, I'll just fixate on a particular spot on the wall and imagine the sight and sound of a huge waterfall (think Niagara). Don't know why, but for some reason, this little trick usually starts the flow for me, and then I'm fine to finish my business with no hesitation.
I, too, have difficulty peeing at a urinal. For me, peeing is something I do best when I am "relaxed". At a urinal, I think part of the problem is that I am facing a wall in front of me, and when I hear people moving around, etc., it un-nerves me, thus causing me to tense up and not pee as quickly as I'd like to.
Principessa
Expert Member
I'm fine in public restrooms, as all womens rooms have stalls with doors. There can even be a line and I am okay. The place my bashful bladder kicks in is at the doctors office. I can almost never give a urine sample on demand.:redface: This was an issue just last week. The doctor and nurse were amazed as they watched me drink 5, 12 ounce cups of water. When I went to the bathroom . . . nothing. I ran water in the sink, I ran warm water on my finger tips nada. It was about an hour later that I finally had the urge to go.
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I've been there, too! Last year when I had my most recent bout with kidney stones, the E.R. doctor wanted a urine sample. I drank several glasses of water, turned on the faucet, etc., (just like you)....and they finally said "if you don't give us a sample, we're going to have to put in a catheter"! Now, that's no pressure, is it?!? Still, I couldn't go, so you guessed it....they had to shove a catheter in me, and then I spewed like a fountain!:biggrin1:
I have a mild case of the bashful bladder. Its only ever really a problem is stressful situations like airports or when I'm rushed (halftime in a stadium) or when there's an obvious lack of privacy such as the trough style urinals.
It usually causes me a delay ranging from a few seconds to a minute before I feel comfortable because once it starts there's no more problems. One time in particular I had to go so terribly bad that it hurt, and I was outside a gas station in a foreign country (its basically a urinal on the side of the building). Not to mention people were waiting for me in the car. I couldn't do it, and endured a painfully long car ride back to my hotel under the claim I had fallen ill from food...
It usually causes me a delay ranging from a few seconds to a minute before I feel comfortable because once it starts there's no more problems. One time in particular I had to go so terribly bad that it hurt, and I was outside a gas station in a foreign country (its basically a urinal on the side of the building). Not to mention people were waiting for me in the car. I couldn't do it, and endured a painfully long car ride back to my hotel under the claim I had fallen ill from food...
I tend to be a bit pee-shy in public, too. However, I have found one bit of mental trickery that seems to work for me most of the time.
If I find I'm having trouble going, and there are other guys at adjacent urinals, I'll just fixate on a particular spot on the wall and imagine the sight and sound of a huge waterfall (think Niagara). Don't know why, but for some reason, this little trick usually starts the flow for me, and then I'm fine to finish my business with no hesitation.
Can I be your pee buddy? :naughty:
Dave NoCal
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I'm fine so long as there are partitions. Otherwise, it's sometiems a problem. Doing mental arithmetic sometimes works. 1X2=2,2X3=6, 3X4=12, 4X4=20.....
Yup, it happens to me too, especially at the trough...at a sports facility.
It so happened I moved over to the wall, but there were guys watching me from both ends...so it didn't matter where I looked, somebody was watching...either I'm totally flaccid, or totally hard as a rock with a bursting bladder...unable to pee at all. It's also a bit of a spectacle to try to stuff my hard cock back into my pants!!! I finally found a stall, but as usual it was a gross mess, but at least I could relax enough to go...and to make matters worse I have a "tiny bladder", so I have to go more often than others...So I usually wait til everyone's out of there to go. The kicker is that I'd like to be able to relax and enjoy viewing the scenery!
It so happened I moved over to the wall, but there were guys watching me from both ends...so it didn't matter where I looked, somebody was watching...either I'm totally flaccid, or totally hard as a rock with a bursting bladder...unable to pee at all. It's also a bit of a spectacle to try to stuff my hard cock back into my pants!!! I finally found a stall, but as usual it was a gross mess, but at least I could relax enough to go...and to make matters worse I have a "tiny bladder", so I have to go more often than others...So I usually wait til everyone's out of there to go. The kicker is that I'd like to be able to relax and enjoy viewing the scenery!
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I suffer from the problem occasionally, particularly in crowded public toilets. To be honest I wouldn't be surprised if most guys experienced the problem to a greater or lesser degree at least occasionally.
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