I think I'm free

[EmJay]

FACEBOOK IS EVIL!!!! i tell ya...do not befriend guys or girls that you have dated and it went sour...arggghh..

And yes Amsterdam is close..as a matter of fact..we need to start a Queens Day visit for the 30th april for LPSG-ers...Its one of the BEST times to be in Amsterdam of the year next to the Gay Pride..absolutely awesome time..to dance, flirt and do whatever.. Parties everywhere in Amsterdam.

So if you can..come over on the 30th of April and have the most fun that day!!!! ..

We would have a blast I tell ya!!!!

 

[_Jonesy]

You should make a thread about that and see if it gets much interest. Personally, I have wanted to go to Amsterdam for a while.

At the same time, part of the best thing about this community is that it is not exactly 'real life' so to speak. Meeting people in person would change the dynamics, possibly for worse.

 

[B_Bjen2848]

looks like to me that you just need to be confident and fully secure with yourself and realize that happiness is not based in other people, you can't be happy with others unless you are happy with yourself .. and happiness has a strong connection to love

so basically what i am saying is that its not about facebook, its not about your ex (who looks like an evil skank since it seems like she literally broke not only your heart, but your spirit, which is unforgivable) and its not about the recent fling she is with, its about you, once you get your mind right and love yourself, everything else will seem to fall into the right place

 

[_Jonesy]

so basically what i am saying is that its not about facebook, its not about your ex (who looks like an evil skank since it seems like she literally broke not only your heart, but your spirit, which is unforgivable) and its not about the recent fling she is with, its about you, once you get your mind right and love yourself, everything else will seem to fall into the right place

Wise words not fallen on deaf ears. My heart is fine, like you say, my spirit, my confidence my pride!

I need them back.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Ok fine I admit it, those posts sort of have made me feel better, thanks.

Nice to know us old women have some effect on you :tongue:

I'll be fine in a bit, 2 steps forwards 1 step back rather than 2 steps back from now on

Good! You actually sound better already.

And well, I wish more people from my demographic felt the same lol. I keep getting asked by people older/younger why I am single but for girls my age I don't seem to do anything for them. It's quite bizarre.

It could just be that you're so convinced women your age don't like you that you're just not seeing the signals.

And if it's really true, why not step outside your usual demographic?

I can't allow myself to like a girl after it gets serious, yet, if I could and if she was the right girl this time, I would be cured.

More info please. I'm not quite sure what you're saying here.

The funny thing is, we are joking now but when I graduate it is very possible I could end up near subgirrl haha.

If I'm still single . . .

Also deleted my facebook. I think it is a source of a lot of evils in my life. Would I have found out about this without it? No. Would I have moved on sooner? Yes. Would it have gone on for this long without it? Probably not!

Good move.

 

[_Jonesy]

Right, if I do start seeing a girl here, although I will have liked her beforehand something changes in my mind that makes me not like her. Scared of commitment or being hurt I guess. Yet if this didn't happen, I know I would feel all the world better... it is like I am looking for something that is too rare, or doesn't exist at all.

Also I'd love to step outside of my usual demographic, but where the hell do I meet older women (younger women aren't something I want the hassle with, more clingy).

Thanks for the support, I feel better but I'm still a bit resentful. I keep thinking, why should she get away with doing this to me? Who she is with I couldn't care less, but she has damaged me, intentionally or not. I could get a higher punishment for losing my cool and hitting someone on a night out, probably just bruising them, then she could ever get for stealing 3 years of my life, making me miss the girl I had been waiting for and obviously damaging me mentally.

I'm gna consult a doctor next week anyway, find out if I really do have depression or something.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Right, if I do start seeing a girl here, although I will have liked her beforehand something changes in my mind that makes me not like her. Scared of commitment or being hurt I guess. Yet if this didn't happen, I know I would feel all the world better... it is like I am looking for something that is too rare, or doesn't exist at all.

Okay, so you meet her and like her. But when you start to commit to each other, you like her less? It could be a fear of commitment or a defense mechanism. Maybe you just become less interested because you know you have 'won'.

Has this just been happening since you broke up with the Ex of All Evil, or have you always been this way?

Also I'd love to step outside of my usual demographic, but where the hell do I meet older women (younger women aren't something I want the hassle with, more clingy).

I have no idea. Maybe LPSG? A dating site? What hobbies or interests do you have? Maybe you could join some kind of RL group that older women are likely to frequent.

Thanks for the support, I feel better but I'm still a bit resentful. I keep thinking, why should she get away with doing this to me?

You need to move on from that sort of thinking. You'll never be able to get back the missing years and opportunities, but if you keep thinking this way, you'll lose the next few years as well.

I'm gna consult a doctor next week anyway, find out if I really do have depression or something.

Good idea. I'm really glad you're taking that step. Personally, I don't think it's depression. I think it's a fairly normal reaction to a messy relationship breaking up in a messy way. But you never know and it's better that you do see a doctor to make sure.

Whether you have depression or not, it might be worth trying some sessions with a psychologist. You can probably access one for free at uni. Sometimes it can really help to talk to people who aren't involved in the situation, and a psych might have some more ideas about how you can help yourself heal.

 

[EmJay]

Okay, so you meet her and like her. But when you start to commit to each other, you like her less? It could be a fear of commitment or a defense mechanism. Maybe you just become less interested because you know you have 'won'.

Has this just been happening since you broke up with the Ex of All Evil, or have you always been this way?




I have no idea. Maybe LPSG? A dating site? What hobbies or interests do you have? Maybe you could join some kind of RL group that older women are likely to frequent.




You need to move on from that sort of thinking. You'll never be able to get back the missing years and opportunities, but if you keep thinking this way, you'll lose the next few years as well.




Good idea. I'm really glad you're taking that step. Personally, I don't think it's depression. I think it's a fairly normal reaction to a messy relationship breaking up in a messy way. But you never know and it's better that you do see a doctor to make sure.

Whether you have depression or not, it might be worth trying some sessions with a psychologist. You can probably access one for free at uni. Sometimes it can really help to talk to people who aren't involved in the situation, and a psych might have some more ideas about how you can help yourself heal.

Great comments :biggrin1:..

And that's a great step you are about to take to see your doctor...very good Jonesy :smile:

 

[nicenycdick]

Jonesy:

I've held off commenting on this thread because you were getting excellent advice from the prior posters (especially those lovely women of LPSG!). But I have this to say to you:

Life is much simpler than you think it is. Not every relationship will work out. You must go into every new personal experience with your heart and your mind open. If it doesn't go the way you want, you must move on with the knowledge that there is a new person waiting just for you. You have to know what you like, what your strengths are and where you need support. A good friend or lover will understand these things almost intuitively...and will love you for them. That's what you are looking for. Until that person comes along, everyone else is a learning experience. If it doesn't work, it says nothing about you. It only means that the one for you has not yet arrived. There are no other mysteries or complex equations to life. Keep it simple, my friend...and good luck.

 

[_Jonesy]

Thank you Mr New York, and everybody, you are right. Since I have got rid of a lot of these negative emotions I've had a strange revelation but I fear putting it on here incase I get mutilated, I am lucky to have not been so far anyway

Subgirrl it has only happened since, but then, she also met me when I was still very ignorant to this whole scene. She was my first love, which is why I got trapped so easily; if I had loved another before her I would have probably been able to let go much more easily.

Since then, as you say, it is either through fear of hurt, loss of interest or a lack of desire for commitment with somebody I'm not sure I like. On the other hand, maybe I'm just searching for the impossible to find.

 

[Enid]

i don't have anything brilliant to add. i just wanted to express my condolences for your loss. i know that it is tough now, but it gets better. trust me.

and, you are adorable!