Hey everyone, Ive been debating where I could actually post this and get opinions and thoughts on it. Ive tried typing out the situation Im about to explain many times, but I often lose focus and tend to just stop writing This is kind of lengthy, so please be pre-warned. Anyway, here it goes Im a 20 year old gay college student. Im not out, and right now would not be a good time to come out. I started film school back in September of 2008 and Im absolutely loving it. Im due to graduate here in several months and its unfortunate that Ive fallen for a boy in my class at this late stage. You see, a few months ago we were assigned to our groups to create our 16mm film project and Brian was assigned to the same group as me. I had noticed him before many months ago and I always thought he was kind of cute, but never much more than that. When our project began and I first really started to notice him, I felt myself fall more in love with him every day. He was so attractive, intelligent and flamboyant. If I knew for sure he was a straight boy I never would have let myself even like him (like that) because I knew Id never stand a chance, but I was sensing a bit of a gay vibe from him. [He does have a bit of a gay lisp and tone to his voice (especially when he calls here! on attendance) and the way he holds himself is also quite gay. I consider myself pretty straight acting and people have been surprised when I told them I was gay before.] Brian and I had never really spoken to each other before now, but we did know who each other was to the point where we were friends on Facebook. Anyway, Brian was assigned position of set photographer and basically had to photograph the entire production from day one until we wrapped. During one of our first production meetings he randomly came over to the area I was sitting and began just taking photos of me. I shrugged and laughed with him while he was doing it, but I noticed he wasnt taking pictures of anyone else. I really noticed his [apparent] gay side and it was then that my mind clicked and told me not totally straight which then made me start to develop my attraction to him. Although I was secretly enjoying it, I made a point for him to take pictures of other people and he obliged. Since then I see his last name (and other minor details about him) all over the place, such as license plates, menus, bill boards, etc. The radio has even been good at playing songs with his name in it at times when I just got out of class and Im thinking of him. Such random coincidences have occurred that Im only falling more in love with him and recently hes been in several of my dreams. Brian is single and since Ive known who he is Ive never heard of him actually being in a relationship nor hooking up with women he must meet when he goes out. He just didnt even seem like the type that would do that. My initial impression of him was that he was very sweet, kind and a happy loving person. His Facebook profile states that hes straight, but Ive never fully believed what some people list as their sexuality on social networking sites. I know gay people listing themselves as straight on their profiles when I know for damn sure theyre gay theyre just in denial. So, I knocked that out of the way and told myself he could be lying basically Im telling myself what I want to hear. One day I noticed something that was said between him and a mutual friend at school (one of his best friends) online, where he [Brian] was telling his friend that he was in the frozen food section at the grocery store and some chick approached him and they began to have a brief conversation. She then asked him if he wanted to get coffee, to which he declined and threw 5 items out of his cart to get in to the express check out line. Several people made comments about his post, to which he said I dont remember posting on anybodys wall but [friend]! Was this just a joke comment or was he being serious? I told myself, again, what I wanted to hear and left it at that. Back at school I began to notice him noticing me more (at least thats how I perceived it), unless I was just oblivious to it before hand, and on several occasions I noticed him staring at me, to which he turned away whenever I looked back at him. After the construction of our basic set walls I was on the mudding team (we had to seamlessly fill the gaps in the wall) and I began to get the product running all down my arms. He approached me and commented on the progress, but I was more interested to see how he would react to me talking to him. I told him I was pissed I was the only one who had the mud running down my arms. He then said here, let me take care of that for you to which he ran his fingers delicately down my arm which then just turned in to a stare. It only lasted briefly until I unwillingly broke the silence. You can get me a paper towel! He went to get me paper towels and I just stood there cursing myself. Was he flirting with me or is it just wishful thinking? He touched me! That sooo seems like something someone would do if they liked you! I had noticed he was quite touchy-feely with other people as well so I tried not to think much of it. Then he started hugging me sometimes again, I noticed he hugged people quite often.