i think i'm in love with a straight boy...

[madman411]

Well, quick update before I go to bed tonight:

I hung out with him alone tonight and had a couple beers. We talked for a few hours about our lives and such. After a couple beers we got on to the topic of my history and my life presently. After much apprehension I told him that I do like guys and such although I didn't actually come out and say "I'm gay" or "I'm bi," but more along the lines of "I've been around the block" and "I have an attraction towards men." But he basically knows now that I do have an attraction towards men and he wasn't weirded out about it or anything. He told me what we talk about is strictly between me and him and he won't tell anyone. He didn't at all insinuate that he likes me, and I know I should've, but I didn't say "I like you" to him. I figured one step at a time. He knows more or less about me now and he was fairly supportive. Although I expected that he wouldn't be freaked out about it, I didn't get the response I was expecting. I guess we'll see what happens, and perhaps I will actually tell him about my feelings towards him, but after the extensive in depth conversations we had tonight, I didn't feel it was appropriate to bring it up. He referenced his past girlfriends as examples to some of the topics we discussed so I definately don't think he's gay. There still may be the possibility that he is bi, but I'm not keeping my hopes up.

That being said, all the stuff that's happened between us in the past still happened, so I'm still unsure about the situation.

Once again guys, thanks for your support. Much appreciated!

 

[rheno]

Best of luck mate! Many would like to be as brave as you were to take that step

Give it some time, if he's bi/gay and in the closet, he will need time as you did to come out to you.

 

[EdWoody]

No, I think you did right, not telling him you like him yet. One bombshell at a time.

 

[559086]

Hey, madman. I'm rather fascinated with your story now, and your writing style. Unfortunately, I'm not part of the romantic crowd, because I was madly in love with a straight (probably bi) guy for over a year, and I never told him how I felt. But I guess it must have been obvious from the way I acted around him. There are so many parallels with your story, it's incredible. Except that I was never manipulated by him, quite the contrary.

Anyway, that was one of the worst times of my life. Because I could see we liked each other a lot, hung out a lot too. But I was scared to tell the truth because I didn't want to loose his friendship. With time, my feelings changed and we ended up being very good friends. We've moved far away from each other since then, he married and had two kids, but still keep in touch. I don't regret all the suffering because it was an important life experience for me. Most of all, I'm glad we stayed just friends.

In your case, I sense this guy is pretty confused...about life. Maybe unconsciously, but it seems that he's fucking with you, just like your friend said. Which doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you. I'd avoid being someone's "little college experiment" having such strong feelings for him. Good luck, whatever decisions you make. And we definitely want more updates!

 

[madman411]

Hey, madman. I'm rather fascinated with your story now, and your writing style. Unfortunately, I'm not part of the romantic crowd, because I was madly in love with a straight (probably bi) guy for over a year, and I never told him how I felt. But I guess it must have been obvious from the way I acted around him. There are so many parallels with your story, it's incredible. Except that I was never manipulated by him, quite the contrary.

Anyway, that was one of the worst times of my life. Because I could see we liked each other a lot, hung out a lot too. But I was scared to tell the truth because I didn't want to loose his friendship. With time, my feelings changed and we ended up being very good friends. We've moved far away from each other since then, he married and had two kids, but still keep in touch. I don't regret all the suffering because it was an important life experience for me. Most of all, I'm glad we stayed just friends.

In your case, I sense this guy is pretty confused...about life. Maybe unconsciously, but it seems that he's fucking with you, just like your friend said. Which doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you. I'd avoid being someone's "little college experiment" having such strong feelings for him. Good luck, whatever decisions you make. And we definitely want more updates!

Thank you, Hugh_Jshlong. It's good to hear from another guy who has experienced something so remotely similar to me. In what way do you think that he's manipulating (fucking with) me? Just curious to know what makes you think that. My other friend didn't give me a definitive answer so I'm interested to know. I've caught the guy I like in a couple lies recently, which really makes me doubt the credibility of some of the stories and things he talks about.

I consider all of this a great experience regardless of how down or hurt I've felt because of it. I'm no where near as in to him as I was at the time of my original post, needless to say I'm still very attracted to him.

 

[madman411]

wow it's been a while... five months to be exact.

for those of you that followed this story earlier on in the year, there has been progress. we've since graduated and moved back to where we came from, but not before i had a discussion with him about what went on. many of you commented on my story suggesting that "brian" does have gay qualities and that i'm not crazy thinking that he may like me back, but then again you only saw the story from my point of view... but i still think my point of view was very valid and the details in it were not stressed or exaggerated.

to make a long story short, i summarized all of the different occurrences that happened between us to him. i didn't point out any of them in particular though. he told me that he felt a certain level of animosity towards his statements and actions. he said that he's in no way homosexual and that he is aware of his flamboyant personality and how it could be perceived incorrectly. he stated he thinks highly of me (suggesting to me he wasn't fucking with me) and he emphasized that we're still good friends regardless of our differences.

it was nice to finally have some closure on the topic, but i'm still not 100% convinced... maybe i've read too many threads on here discussing straight men who fool around with other guys. some of you commented on how straight men don't touch other guys' thighs, hold their hands and whatnot (refer to my story and previous posts), and i believe that to be true. i'm not convinced by his statement because i've told guys the same thing he told me. maybe i should take that as a sign that he doesn't want to further our "relationship" - even though it wouldn't be possible anyway because we now live thousands of miles away from each other.

still though, he'll always be my college crush. who knows? maybe we will run in to each other again in the future and i'll be able to put him to the test now that he knows what was going through my head at the time. i do feel a fair amount of disappointment even though i am essentially over him.

 

[Empathizer]

Thank God you are over him. That mud thing... that was pretty manipulative and slick/sly. He's the kind of person who flirts to make things go his way. He hustles in every arena of life, not just sex.

Your strength kept you from getting rolled. Congrats!

 

[blackbottom2]

Get a little bit flamboyent in jest tell hime how good looking he is and how lucky some someone who gets him is going to be

Play him a little at his own games

 

[madman411]

Get a little bit flamboyent in jest tell hime how good looking he is and how lucky some someone who gets him is going to be

Play him a little at his own games

i actually told him that his actions may result in something a little more drastic than a guy crush in the future if he keeps it up.

 

[Cybearia]

Interesting thread...One part of me (the older, more cynical part) wants to say "Sheesh, get the hell over him and move on..." but a bigger part (the incurable romantic) is going "Aw, that is just the sweetest thing...it takes me back to the time when...".

Essentially mate, I would say enjoy the life experience this is giving, not all the emotions will have been good ones, but I bet they were all intense ones. (Possibly) unrequited love is the most profound experience.

Otherwise, grab the bull by the balls, ask him out for dinner, make an evening of it and at the end of the evening ask him if he wants to do it again with a view to becoming "friends with benefits".

Meh! Just read your last post...thousands of miles of distance is a bit too much for the friends with benefits thing. Sorry. Should have read all the way through first.