I think its true

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AlteredEgo

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Lex said:
Bronxy--Oprah rules your ass AND mine.

(eloquent and reasonable prose edited for brevity)

She obviously at once has the biggest dick, deepest pussy and largest tits of any human being. DAMN.

*falls on the floor* Lex you are Hilarious. Enough about you though, back to Oprah.

I remember the weak-ass shows she used to do. I remember she had an episode with a public barrel fire, burning bras and pantyhose. Can you imagine the stench? Anyway, back then, she was powerful too. She made Geraldo Rivera into the chump he is today. Remeber when he was a respected journalist? he broke the story on those orphanages, made some political waves. He was a real muckraker. Gully. Real. Honest. It just so happened that his show and Oprah's show had to compete with each other, and in the process of trying to beat the soon-to-be Queen of the World, he demolished his credibility, and destroyed his dignity. O never looked back. Gangsta.
 

GoneA

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Lex said:
Jamie Foxx is gonna WHUP YO ASS.


Did you see on her show when he gave her the painting, sang to her, told her he loved her, and to call him the MINUTE Stedman fucked up?


THAT is stroke.

i'm probably the only loser who Tivo-ed that





(j/k, but i did see it)
 

AlteredEgo

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Lex said:
Jamie Foxx is gonna WHUP YO ASS.


Did you see on her show when he gave her the painting, sang to her, told her he loved her, and to call him the MINUTE Stedman fucked up?


THAT is stroke.
No. I missed that. But that's okay. When I become one of Oprahs concubines, I will welcome Jamie just like all the other brides.
 

AlteredEgo

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Remember to change the subject to something other than the original one, to show your solidarity and support for the hijacking of this useless thread.

Oprah saved this thread, and she will save the world! She's too smart to run for office. She'd have to give up too much power. What do you guys think of that?
 

GoneA

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BronxBombshell said:
Oprah saved this thread, and she will save the world! She's too smart to run for office. She'd have to give up too much power. What do you guys think of that?

i most certainly would vote for Oprah. if she won, i'd love to see who'd be in her cabinet. i'm thinking dr. phil would have a special seat
 

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Below is a partial list of muthafuckers who tried to hang with Oprah and were left in the wake of her womanly might:

Donahue
Sally Jessie Rapael
Montel Williams
Ricki Lake
Jerry Springer
Tempest Bledsoe
Gerlado
Morton Downy, Jr.
Rosie O'Donnell

If I had it to do all over again, I would make a plaster cast of my dick and give my virgin ass to Oprah while Bronxy and GoneA watched and Stronzo puked in the restroom.

The revolution HAS been televised.
 

Chuck64

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Sorry. Dr. Phil is a chump. Every other show of his is about some lying, cheating bastard who's excessivly dependent on their spouse for financial or emotional support. And his advice is always some form of "Grow the fuck up." Well duh. When do I get my TV show and book deals?
 

AlteredEgo

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GoneA said:
i most certainly would vote for Oprah. if she won, i'd love to see who'd be in her cabinet. i'm thinking dr. phil would have a special seat

She'd never do it! She is more powerful right where she is than any American President has ever been. She'd be better off as an ambassador. And just think what traveling all the time would do for her show. She's going sensational again, and I think that would be just the thing to get her back on track.
 

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You will get yours when you realize that eveything Oprah touches is GOLD and therefore, Dr. Phil rules your ass by default.

Resistance is FUTILE.

Oprah once talked to this guy who helped her change her life. He lhelped her through the beef stuff in Texas and she was forever grateful. She told everyone how good he was and next thing you know, HE and hisWIFE and SON were megastars. You may have heard of him. His name is Phil McGraw.

I one day hope to help Oprah so that she can reward me by giving me the half of the country she did not give to Dr. Phil.
 

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Chuck64 said:
You forgot Letterman.

YEAH. She refused to go on his show for YEARS b/c she hated being the butt of his fat jokes and when she finally DID, he got the highest ratings EVER.

I'll come on YOUR show when *I* fucking FEEL like it. DAYUM.

If Oprah married Tony Soprano, they would rule the Milky Way.
 

AlteredEgo

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When I open my bakery I will send Oprah delicious goodies that are wholesome, and which do not compromise her diets. She will me Puerto Rico as a reward, I believe. I might be able to get Jamaica too if I let her use one of the 7 inventions I'm trying to patent.
 

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No one in this world, so far as I know ... has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.

H.L. Mencken - Notes on journalism, Chicago Tribune, [19 September 1926]

Oprah knows.
 

AlteredEgo

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Lex said:
YEAH. She refused to go on his show for YEARS b/c she hated being the butt of his fat jokes and when she finally DID, he got the highest ratings EVER.

I'll come on YOUR show when *I* fucking FEEL like it. DAYUM.

If Oprah married Tony Soprano, they would rule the Milky Way.

Not just when i fucking feel like it. When it's next door to something I had to do anyway. Don't make me show you how the pimptress keeps her pimphand strong.
 

Chuck64

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RideRocket said:
Hopefully one of those isn't Post-It notes. I already patented it along with canned beer and sliced bread.

That's fine. I got never-sticky-enough adhesive backing, pull tabs, electric toasters and pre-sliced cheese.
 
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