I think I've convinced TheBF on non-circumcision

[B_dxjnorto]

The truth is though at any point the thing can be stretched. I donno why they insist on cutting them. It's another of life's permanent solutions to a temporary problem.

I've almost stretched a new foreskin from what little I was left with. I'm covered (thankfully) now all the time, but because of the damage donno whether I'll ever have a natural nude appearance. But it's hella better than what I had.

If I can do that Boondock, how much more easily do you think a phimosed guy can stretch to expand his preputial opening?

 

[gymfresh]

I had a good friend from HS who had phimosis but didn't realize the head was supposed to retract so that the glands are exposed (when he has an erection). He was 19 years old and still didn't realize this.

I don't know about "supposed to retract". The majority of uncut guys' foreskins don't automatically go back when they get a hardon. The head stays covered. But you probably want to be able to slide it back manually. Even so, plenty of guys live their whole lives without ever seeing their cockhead (glans) and sex isn't uncomfortable for them. It's just their anatomy. They're happy.

That being said, if you have preputial stenosis (the name for phimosis after puberty), you can gradually and gently stretch (as dxjnorto said) or just have the doctor cut a small notch in the foreskin tip to allow the skin to slide back. I don't know where this notion of curing everything with a circumcision came from, but it's like using a bazooka where a water pistol would work. There is still a place for circumcision, but it's way overused in the US.

 

[Indelicate]

We're having a baby boy and I'm anti-circumcision. He's cut and really doesn't know anything about uncircumcised penii. I think I may have convinced him that not cutting is the best idea for our son. What do you think? Is there anything else I should tell him to sway him?

First, CONGRATULATIONS!! We all wish you the best on the pending arrival of your son.

Second, one of the teachings I learned from my child psych class was that parents who genuinely love their children usually do the right thing. You and the BF are intelligent people, so I know you will get it figured out. BF, Jr. will be a fortunate fellow to have such great parents who have taken their time to make decisions which will affect their child in the long term.

Please let us know when he gets here so that we can send best wishes to you.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

great parents who have taken their time to make decisions

Or not make them as the case were.

 

[ibostyle11]

Thank you for clarifying, ibostyle11. Actually I am curious as to why an uncircumcised man would choose to be circumcised.

That does clear a lot of things up.

No problem. Since you want to know...

I don't remember all the details of everyone's situation as this was some years ago, but I'll mention the things that stood out, as I did in my other post.

All said that their decisions to have it done was finalized after multiple incidents that caused them to feel uncomfortable with their uncircumcised state with the exception of one. These incidents ranged from the mocking of guys and girls, to girlfriends that were actually disgusted with their members, going so far as to decline sex. To my surprise, all but two mentioned that they were already considering it before even the first incidents occurred.

I remember one saying that he didn't like the way it looked ever since a young age (don't remember what age he said though). He said that he didn't even know the details of circumcision until he heard it get brought up in high school, at which point he did research, and saw pics of some circumcised penii (sp?). He decided at that point that he would prefer to have it that way, but talk/word of circumcisions being painful stopped him. Those fore mentioned incidents cemented his resolve to do so though.

Another one said that he remembered watching porn as a young teen and noticing that "none of the 'actors' had uncircumcised dicks." This impacted him, and he began to wish his was like theirs. He held onto that thought til he was 18, at which point he had the procedure done. He hadn't been mocked or even gotten far enough with a female for it to affect him. He summed it up as him being willing to go so far for his own liking.

As stated above, the main reason was a failure to be comfortable with their bodies. I assume it to be no different than a women that gets breast implants (or rather, reduced labia size to better fit this discussion) for the sake of feeling better about their selves. Most guys developed this discomfort due to the influence of others, whether directly or indirectly. Oh, and just in case you were wondering, the neither of the two guys mentioned here were the ones that didn't like being circumcised. Both of them were poor souls who got circumcised for a girl that they didn't end up remaining with.

P.S. I'll probably check my post later for errors in what I mention. I'm tired so who knows what weird things I'm putting lol

 

[Snozzle]

if you are part of one of those religions, then not-circumcising is depriving your child of something that they very well may find important, and cannot get in the same way.

Jewish circumcision is valid at any age. There was a guy in Jerusalem; when he was born, a mohel declared him "born circumcised" and he only needed a token pinprick (hatifat dam berit). In April last year, a rabbi said he wasn't and needed to be circumcised "properly", and the family was last heard browbeating him to have it done - at 87. [Some also say clamp circumcisions are not the real deal, and one says he resists because of the evil forces contained in his foreskin....] Nobody is saying it would be invalid, even at 87. The reason it's considered so pressing to do it to a baby is that the parents believe they will be "cut off from the people" if they don't circumcise him.

perhaps you could say its trading a tiny amount of flesh

It's only tiny while he's a baby. It's 15 sq in (~100 cm^2) in the adult.

that the person won't ever remember having had

People born blind or deaf don't remember seeing or hearing either, but we wouldn't consider that to be even partial justification for blinding or deafening babies (those are analogies only, for the point about remembering).

for a great amount of ancestral and religious/spiritual connectivity.

Which at 8 days old you have no idea whether he will want, and whether that's how he will see it or not. There are plenty of Jewish men who resent being circumcised as bitterly as any genitles. (I venture to guess there are plenty of Muslims, too, but they feel less free to speak.)

perhaps its a matter of what you see as important in life.

Perhaps it's a matter of what he sees as imporant in life, about which nobody can second-guess him.

 

[B_crackoff]

if you only mean "untouched" then why not use "uncircumcised" instead of "intact"?

Uncircumsized suggests that circumsized is the normal state of affairs - like something hasn't been done! Now that's offensive:biggrin1:

How about natural? A hoodie.

More to the point.

WELCOME BACK PETITE!:laola:
:jumping38: :You_Rock_Emoticon:

We've missed you.

I'm glad all's well, I did have a little worry.

As for baby boy - if you're not Jewish or Muslim, why bother?

It's unlikely he'd ever want it cut off himself, & it's quite unnecessary pain.

A man's foreskin is his friend for life, & certainly makes masturbation easier!:biggrin1:

 

[Not_Punny]

Hello Petite, I haven't been posted in a while, but I wanted to chime in on your OP.

I'm the mom of two boys who are now in their teens.

I chose not to circumcise them -- I wanted them to have a choice.

As it turns out, one is happy with the status quo, and the other wants to have the procedure when he is fully grown.

Conclusion: I feel justified in my decision to let THEM choose.

 

[B_crackoff]

Hello Petite, I haven't been posted in a while, but I wanted to chime in on your OP.

I'm the mom of two boys who are now in their teens.

I chose not to circumcise them -- I wanted them to have a choice.

As it turns out, one is happy with the status quo, and the other wants to have the procedure when he is fully grown.

Conclusion: I feel justified in my decision to let THEM choose.

Too bloody right. You rock too!

It's hard to believe from your pics that you've got 2 teenage boys though:wink:

 

[petite]

This is a very important point and I hope you do make sure you teach your kid about this. My parents were too prudish to bring up anything relating to my penis and I was 17 before I figured out that my foreskin was supposed to retract. I had developed phimosis (an inability to pull it back) and had to have a circ, but put it off til age 20 because I was so reluctant to get it done. It pretty much ruined my teenage years from a sexual standpoint and to this day I'm still in disbelief that it happened to me. It's unreal to think that I had never seen my (exposed) penis head before the age of 20.

I'm so sorry that happened to you!

Somehow I don't think we're going to have a problem with prudishness. TheBF is blessed with the ability to never seem to feel uncomfortable talking about any subject while still having a sense of propriety and appropriate behavior (most people who never feel uncomfortable can't tell when they're not supposed to talk about certain things). I don't understand it, but whatever talent that is, he's got it. I suspect that's going to come in handy in the years to come!

This is a video by an American guy, from a Texas family and raised in Chicago, who also had not seen his glans by about the end of high school because it was never talked about in his family. Fortunately, in his case all worked out well, but it blows my mind that this guy was sitting through years of classes with a load of smegma in his boxers. Didn't it itch? And before anyone goes blaming it on foreskin, the real issue is hygiene, taboos and exploration, not anatomy. Cells slough off of circumcised penises all day, too.

ETA: The first 4 minutes are enlightening. The next 7 minutes (part 2) is a dramatization of the blind leading the blind in an online chat. Some of what they discuss is interesting and much is medically off-base. The actual author of both videos is the slim bearded guy in the grey hoodie, not the blondish guy in the middle.

Thank you for all the helpful information. I'm going to show it to TheBF when we get a chance.

So I guess the moral of the story is: make sure at some point there is a conversation with uncut sons about how an uncircumcised penis eventually has to be made to retract.

I'll make sure of it. Or rather, I'll make sure TheBF is sure of it!

First, CONGRATULATIONS!! We all wish you the best on the pending arrival of your son.

Second, one of the teachings I learned from my child psych class was that parents who genuinely love their children usually do the right thing. You and the BF are intelligent people, so I know you will get it figured out. BF, Jr. will be a fortunate fellow to have such great parents who have taken their time to make decisions which will affect their child in the long term.

Please let us know when he gets here so that we can send best wishes to you.

Aw, thank you! It won't be until sometime around the New Year!

No problem. Since you want to know...

Thank you for going to all the trouble to share all those stories! I appreciate it!

WELCOME BACK PETITE!:laola:
:jumping38: :You_Rock_Emoticon:

We've missed you.

I'm glad all's well, I did have a little worry.

As for baby boy - if you're not Jewish or Muslim, why bother?

It's unlikely he'd ever want it cut off himself, & it's quite unnecessary pain.

A man's foreskin is his friend for life, & certainly makes masturbation easier!:biggrin1:

LOL! Hi Crackoff! Thank you for the lovely welcome back! :kiss:

I've missed you!

We're all doing well! Our little family is healthy and we're happy. Trying to make the most of the last few months with just the two of us!

Hello Petite, I haven't been posted in a while, but I wanted to chime in on your OP.

I'm the mom of two boys who are now in their teens.

I chose not to circumcise them -- I wanted them to have a choice.

As it turns out, one is happy with the status quo, and the other wants to have the procedure when he is fully grown.

Conclusion: I feel justified in my decision to let THEM choose.

Wow! I can't believe you've had two boys! I hope I look as good as you do after this one! You give me hope!

I'm convinced on keeping him intact and I think I have convinced TheBF about it. I don't think he's in doubt any more that it would be the best decision for our son.

Before I brought it up, I don't think he's ever thought about it. We both love his cock and he's circumcised and he felt like that was normal and assumed that we would do the same for our child. As an issue, he was unaware of it before I brought it up, so he's been wonderful about listening and being open minded and considering the pros and cons. I chose a good one! He's a keeper. :smile:

 

[MisterVIP]

Congratulations, Petite. Good luck!

 

[Riven650]

I grew up very pleased that my parents didn't have me circumcised, but I later decided that I prefer the look of a circumcised penis so I got it done when I was 30. When my son was born (7 years later) my wife and I did not have him circumcised.

Having many years of experience in both natural and circumcised state, I can honestly say that it didn't make any difference to the amount of sensual pleasure I get from my penis. However, I would always advocate leaving children as nature intended.

 

[JetID]

We're having a baby boy and I'm anti-circumcision. He's cut and really doesn't know anything about uncircumcised penii. I think I may have convinced him that not cutting is the best idea for our son. What do you think? Is there anything else I should tell him to sway him?

Unless you are a devout Christian or Jew, there is no obvious reason FOR it. Even the biblical/torah reason for it is past, if you believe in Jesus as the savior.

Used to be, the lack of foreskin was how God would know you were a true believer. God told Abraham to do it and all the men in his household (including slaves), as a covenant, in the flesh. Genesis 17:10, if you want to look it up.

Christians believe when Jesus came, he fulfilled all of the prophesies and requirements, for humans to go to heaven. In other words, God will know you are a believer, even if you don't sacrifice lambs and grain and pigeons or circumcise yourself.

For us, now, it's about looks and doing what was done to us, I think.

 

[The Little Boy]

First of all, let me say I find it very interesting that a WOMAN wants to convince her boyfriend about what it is better for her MALE SON instead of letting his father decide over a men issue. -_-


I feel very strongly about this subject matter as I had phimosis and put off the operation so long before working up the courage to undergo surgery just out of fear, and God only knows how many times I thought "Had I been circumsized as a baby, I would have never had to go through all this!!".

A few years back, I used to think the same as you do, that it's better to let them choose and bla bla bla, but since I started to face my problem, I have been changing my mind.

Considering how common the problem is (much more than you think), I find it absurd that given the chance to prevent it and be safe and sound for ALL life, somebody can think of it as depriving their son of something.

Thank to this nice and kind concern, how may guys are deprived of a sexual life because they have phimosis?

I know this topic is old and the baby who was going to be born should be 8 or so by now, but I do hope he will never have this health problem.

 

[Uncutsouthernboy]

Mind you he won't be able to really show his son how to clean it of peel back the foreskin. I'm not saying for or against just merely putting in my two cents.

I don't remember my dad demonstrating how to clean my penis. I did take baths with him. I do remember that. I remember him TELLING me to pull back and wash. My mother also told me to pull back and wash. I remember daddy telling me to pull back when I pee. I did see him pull his back to was and to pee. Telling me was enough.

 

[Uncutsouthernboy]

First of all, let me say I find it very interesting that a WOMAN wants to convince her boyfriend about what it is better for her MALE SON instead of letting his father decide over a men issue. -_-

Why do you find that interesting? He is her son also. She will be taking most of the care of him. If they split she will have him most of the time. Her opinion counts. What I have read it was the mothers let the boys be circumcised while their men were gone to the military in WWII. That is when RIC began in the USA.


I feel very strongly about this subject matter as I had phimosis and put off the operation so long before working up the courage to undergo surgery just out of fear, and God only knows how many times I thought "Had I been circumsized as a baby, I would have never had to go through all this!!".

You could have played with it more and stretched the skin. Phimosis is not common anyway.

A few years back, I used to think the same as you do, that it's better to let them choose and bla bla bla, but since I started to face my problem, I have been changing my mind.

Considering how common the problem is (much more than you think), I find it absurd that given the chance to prevent it and be safe and sound for ALL life, somebody can think of it as depriving their son of something.

Thank to this nice and kind concern, how may guys are deprived of a sexual life because they have phimosis?

Again, phimosis is rare. Look it up. The stats don't lie. I don't really think that most of the time that it deprives the man of a sexual life. A good friend of mine has phimosis and he fathered 4 children.

I know this topic is old and the baby who was going to be born should be 8 or so by now, but I do hope he will never have this health problem.

The VAST majority of males do not have a problem with their foreskin.

 

[The Little Boy]

The VAST majority of males do not have a problem with their foreskin.

I don't know what your sources are, but after reading some health forums online I wouldn't be of the same opinion. It's hard to have right statistics but you can get an idea.

 

[soundsgreat87]

I don't know what your sources are, but after reading some health forums online I wouldn't be of the same opinion. It's hard to have right statistics but you can get an idea.

Why would guys with perfectly functional foreskins go on health forums and post topics about having problems with them?

Sampling bias, man.

I also can't help but wonder if the culture of circumcision in the US has caused phimosis to be more common, since most people - doctors included - are clueless about how foreskin should work and what is and isn't normal. I've met guys in their 20s unaware that their foreskin was supposed to retract.

 

[Uncutsouthernboy]

I don't know what your sources are, but after reading some health forums online I wouldn't be of the same opinion. It's hard to have right statistics but you can get an idea.

Medical statistics are more reliable than what people say on an online forum.

 

[Uncutsouthernboy]

Why would guys with perfectly functional foreskins go on health forums and post topics about having problems with them?

Sampling bias, man.

I also can't help but wonder if the culture of circumcision in the US has caused phimosis to be more common, since most people - doctors included - are clueless about how foreskin should work and what is and isn't normal. I've met guys in their 20s unaware that their foreskin was supposed to retract.

Europeans and Asians have very little phimosis, so I agree with you. The US's culture of circumcision has caused people to believe all sorts of wrong ideas about the foreskin. Still, phimosis in the US, as in the rest of the world, is rare.