i think i've finally lost all interest in men.
- Thread starter dolfette
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Who said she hated herself? And where did you come from? What are you trying to say? Maybe someone ought to hand you the rock back you crawled from underneath and say goodbye.
I don't suppose you understand what "showing concern and feelings" are all about.
Bye.
usually it's the opposite.
in my experience the self loathers seem to need to be in a relationship, no matter how bad. they're the ones who stay with abusive men and cheaters, because they can't bear to be alone and don't believe anyone else will want them.
B_FatMushroomHead
Experimental Member
Ok, Dolfette...we get it...you hate men. We have all heard it. Now shut the fuck up about it. It's tired.
That said, go make me some vittles and gimme a blowjob.
That said, go make me some vittles and gimme a blowjob.
B_FatMushroomHead
Experimental Member
Nah, school girl plaid skirt and stockings. Now go on nah git!
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Umm... I, as a man, have never thought of it as a successful feat for a woman to have a boyfriend or husband. I have never thought that a woman is supposed to have a husband and if she doesn't then she's a failure. I have never looked at the wife of a millionaire as a woman who made better choices than the wife of a plumber.
And, correct me if I'm wrong, fellas, but I don't think any men put pressure on women to have a boyfriend or husband, because I don't think any of us look at it as a measure of success or as a necessary characteristic of a woman in order to consider her a good person in general.
I think women have an incredibly cut throat frame of mind when it comes to the topic, and I think that women compete with each other when it comes to boyfriends and husbands, and the ones who bag rich, attractive, or powerful men are the more respected amongst the rest of the field.
But, personally, I have absolutely no thought of whether or not a woman is married or spoken for in any way which would make me pressure her about it ever. Shit, to be honest, I'd rather women NOT have boyfriends a lot of the time. At least once a week I find myself in a conversation with a girl I've just met which is ready to advance to the subtle flirting stage... only to find out she's married or has a boyfriend who I am friends with a friend of or whatever. It sucks. It sucks even MORE if I've already paid for her drink.
that's part of it though, nol.
you like them being single because you want them to be available. i think most singletons are happy when they come across someone they desire and find out they're single too.
you like them as they have potential.
but yeah, a lot of the social pressure to have a man is from women. the pressure from men is more that if you're single you should be available. you should be looking for a guy and you should want sex/love.
like...i happily admit that i'm kinda frigid. i'm cool with it and find it odd that the word is used as an insult and has such negative connotations. in a society where everyone is encouraged to be open and express their sexuality, expressing a lack of it is frowned upon.
you like them being single because you want them to be available. i think most singletons are happy when they come across someone they desire and find out they're single too.
you like them as they have potential.
but yeah, a lot of the social pressure to have a man is from women. the pressure from men is more that if you're single you should be available. you should be looking for a guy and you should want sex/love.
like...i happily admit that i'm kinda frigid. i'm cool with it and find it odd that the word is used as an insult and has such negative connotations. in a society where everyone is encouraged to be open and express their sexuality, expressing a lack of it is frowned upon.
I wonder if we look for too much in a relationship. Can one person meet every need. I had two sexually electric relationships that were up and down like a roller coaster. There was actually little in common but the sparks were fantastic. As I got a little older, I met someone who had great character, very stable, and fun to be with. The sexual sparks were not that intense. We've been together 35 years. I have come close to getting into a couple of 'electric' relationships again but didn't. I just feel you need too prioritize what is important to you. If we expect one person too be all things, they will fail.
what you say is very true...modern expectations of romantic perfection.
but the thing i'm finding more and more is that i don't want anything.
if i want a cuddle i've got a dog. orgasms, i have a vibe. conversations, friends. i don't especially desire anything that a relationship will bring, so i'm left with wondering why i would bother taking on the down side. and they all have a down side.
why is there the assumption that it's just better to be making a relationship work than to be happily alone
what you say is very true...modern expectations of romantic perfection.
but the thing i'm finding more and more is that i don't want anything.
if i want a cuddle i've got a dog. orgasms, i have a vibe. conversations, friends. i don't especially desire anything that a relationship will bring, so i'm left with wondering why i would bother taking on the down side. and they all have a down side. I've run into a lot of women and people in general (like family or family friends) who think if you're single and older here *must* be something wrong with you...you can't possibly choose to be single and/or not married. Personally I'd rather be "alone" than with someone I'm not happy with (been there, and tried that...almost sucked the life out of me).
why is there the assumption that it's just better to be making a relationship work than to be happily alone
All I can say is, most women (and even some men) are brought up to think they need someone to "complete them"...they need a "better half"...a "soulmate" ...to me, a relationship is nice but not when you put that kind of craziness on it. Sure you can love and adore the person...but complete you??? no...way.
I agree with you though...in a sense all the wants of a relationship can be fulfilled other ways, all of which I have. It's probably why... since I've had so many bad experiences, and am in love with someone right now and I have no real idea how he feels or what he's going to do since he seems confused himself about what he wants... it's probably why I am not actively interested or looking. Just too "over it" to put any effort in or feel some kind of social pressure to jump into a relationship with someone I'm just not that into (even though a lot of my friends are getting married lately and/or have kids...never had any desire to marry young or have kids young)
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Funny, I just had this conversation, (or similar), with a friend today, who happens to be a lesbian. The issue is the same. You could change the words around from men to woman to companion. This is not an opposite sex issue. Its an issue of compatability.
Dolfette, are you saying that the only relationships you could have are with women? Because if that is the case, then yes, you could say your done with men to make yourself feel better about your unsuccessful relationships with men. As if women do not come with thier own set of issues?
With this friend of mine, the issues were issues of maturity and the feeling of not being apprecitated after giving so much. There is an age difference. And the fact that one does not know how to fill in her own time, or has thier own life to overlap and contribute something to the relationship.
I hate to sound chiche, but you just havent found the right man, or partner for that matter. This is annoyingly simple and I hate to give this as an answer in fear that you know this already and just wanted to vent. The man in me wants to give you an answer and figure out your life in simple terms.
So, if its a man you want, keep kissing the frogs. And I am sorry to tell you this, you are not the only one going through this. At least you are bi and have given yourself more options in life.
I wish you luck.
Dolfette, are you saying that the only relationships you could have are with women? Because if that is the case, then yes, you could say your done with men to make yourself feel better about your unsuccessful relationships with men. As if women do not come with thier own set of issues?
With this friend of mine, the issues were issues of maturity and the feeling of not being apprecitated after giving so much. There is an age difference. And the fact that one does not know how to fill in her own time, or has thier own life to overlap and contribute something to the relationship.
I hate to sound chiche, but you just havent found the right man, or partner for that matter. This is annoyingly simple and I hate to give this as an answer in fear that you know this already and just wanted to vent. The man in me wants to give you an answer and figure out your life in simple terms.
So, if its a man you want, keep kissing the frogs. And I am sorry to tell you this, you are not the only one going through this. At least you are bi and have given yourself more options in life.
I wish you luck.
and add to that that i don't really do love...there's even less reason to want to. the most i ever manage is fondness.
a friend told me the other night that he loved me, but would never try to form a relationship because he couldn't live with my emotional detatchment. but in every other way i'd be his perfect woman.
i thought that was really sweet. it's good to have friends who accept you as you are.
so...yeah...the falling in love bit isn't a problem. for me. how do you cope with it?
Oh, damn, the point of my rant.
Anyway, we both concluded that it is NOT necessary to be in a relationship to be complete. As I get older, I enjoy my independance more. I know as a man I start to get weird looks about why i am not married yet, or have kids. As if that defines success. Then I will start to get the, "Oh, he must be gay" if I dont have a divorce under my belt yet.
So Dolfette, guys get it too. And if you want to be single for the rest of your life, then more power to you. You have a supporter! (how ironic) I dont feel I have to be married any more. If it happens, fine. But it is also fine if it doesnt and I will live my life knowing that I have live being honest with myself, and not being in a situation out of obligation.
Anyway, we both concluded that it is NOT necessary to be in a relationship to be complete. As I get older, I enjoy my independance more. I know as a man I start to get weird looks about why i am not married yet, or have kids. As if that defines success. Then I will start to get the, "Oh, he must be gay" if I dont have a divorce under my belt yet.
So Dolfette, guys get it too. And if you want to be single for the rest of your life, then more power to you. You have a supporter! (how ironic) I dont feel I have to be married any more. If it happens, fine. But it is also fine if it doesnt and I will live my life knowing that I have live being honest with myself, and not being in a situation out of obligation.
why is it so hard for you to imagine being happier single?
frankly, i've had decades of keeping an open mind, giving love a chance, considering that other people might be right...and now i don't think they are. i think the person i've grown into serves herself perfectly well. i've no craving for company, no desire for sex, so why do you think i should be playing mouth to mouth with amphibians?
your post reminded me of this...
YouTube - Harry Enfield - Women Keep Your Virtue
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hahahahahahaha
That is what I get for not completing my thought! My next post agrees with you. Which you are probably reading as I am typing this. We are overlapping. hahahahaha I just think that is funny.
Well now that's just silly. That doesn't give sufficient credit to all those single women who are there to drink and drive.
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