I think ive ruined my self esteem forever- anyone been in my position

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

My husband asked me the same question when we started dating. I was honest with him about it, telling him no. He was a bit taken back by it, but I said it because I wanted our relationship built on truth. I don't regret telling him that day because he learned that he could trust me. I don't fake orgasms, either, so there are no guessing games with me between the sheets. We're still together almost 15 years later so he's doing something right. Women seem to return to your bed repeatedly (2 long-term relationships) so you must be doing something right as well.

It sounds like this revelation from your last relationship has taken a huge toll on your self-worth and confidence. I know it's easier said than done, but you honestly just have to put your ego aside in the bedroom. You want a woman that is honest in the bedroom and doesn't feel pressured to lie to you about size, performance, etc. If this is really eroding your ego, go get some counseling. If this is about you being a great lover, put your ego aside and pay attention to her needs. It will yield dividends 100 fold.

 

[svevremenski]

well, i am 7.5 x 5.5 and i've never heard of any girl that i was her biggest.

then again, i guess we all have big cocks here in croatia.

i have quite a few friends that are considerably bigger than me.

 

[D_Sufference Uccotash]

I'm a female. Do you think I care whether my p@ssy is the tightest or the deepest, even though it is...kegel exercises works wonders I'm not worried about that. I'm trying to find out how loud I can make you moan or beg for it and how long I can prolong my orgasm.

Honey you need to stop asking if you're the biggest. Just because a man is big doesn't mean he's good in bed. Trust. Me. I. Know. A big dick can bore you to tears as easily as a small one, it's just more uncomfortable.

You should concentrate on being a better lover (cunnilingus, different positions, pacing, spontaneity, etc) and then it won't matter about your size and your girls will be looking for you with a flashlight

 

[svevremenski]

well, i am 7.5 x 5.5 and i've never heard of any girl that i was her biggest.

then again, i guess we all have big cocks here in croatia.

i have quite a few friends that are considerably bigger than me.

what i am saying is that more of them were probably lying to you

and not one of them surely didn't get the good impression of you asking that question anyway. a guy's insecurity is much worse for most girls than even a small penis, not to mention your well above average one.

 

[B_subgirrl]

It's beyond me why guys even ask this question. It's like a girl saying 'Do I look fat in this?'. There's only one correct answer and it's not necessarily the most truthful one.

Take home message: Don't ask unless you are comfortable with what you might hear.

OP, what the others have said is right. Girls choose men for a whole lot more than their cock. If they stay with you, it's because they WANT to be with YOU, not with Mr Monster Cock.

 

[D_cbq02hbc]

what i am saying is that more of them were probably lying to you

and not one of them surely didn't get the good impression of you asking that question anyway. a guy's insecurity is much worse for most girls than even a small penis, not to mention your well above average one.

thankfully im not concerned with those people bc the relationship status was never serious and or one night stand kinda deal, besides i didnt ask them to tell me that, lie or not

 

[D_cbq02hbc]

I'm a female. Do you think I care whether my p@ssy is the tightest or the deepest, even though it is...kegel exercises works wonders I'm not worried about that. I'm trying to find out how loud I can make you moan or beg for it and how long I can prolong my orgasm.

Honey you need to stop asking if you're the biggest. Just because a man is big doesn't mean he's good in bed. Trust. Me. I. Know. A big dick can bore you to tears as easily as a small one, it's just more uncomfortable.

You should concentrate on being a better lover (cunnilingus, different positions, pacing, spontaneity, etc) and then it won't matter about your size and your girls will be looking for you with a flashlight

haha thanks for your input, it was funny

 

[thickpex]

And ill be the first to say that im one of the MOST HUMBLE ppl you will meet



Anyone else getting a kick out of this statement?

I did, it's like when someone says, "I'm not a stalker," lol!

But seriously, I agree and live by the tenet to NEVER ask a question that I'm not prepared to hear the answer to, and I remind my close friends that, too, when they start a conversation with, "I have something to ask you..."

BUT...I do confess that I asked my wife while we were dating how I compared in size to a former boyfriend, who was and always will be "the love of her life." She said she didn't really know, which I took to mean we were both pretty close in size, not enough of a difference to where she could even notice. Now i think that wow, even though I knew better than to ask if I was her biggest (I guess I felt I probably wasn't but sure as heck didn't want THAT confirmed), that it was still a big risk asking that, and I don't think I would do it ever again.

All in all I agree with subgirrl, focus on what you do best, and how you can meet your woman's needs.

Also, you gotta love your cock, I mean really LOVE your cock. If it means posting some good pics & soliciting comments for us here on the forum to boost that ego, then do it. I LOVE mine and always have, which is why I was never shy about showing it off in college, even when I was one of the smallest SHOWING guys in the showers. years later, i've become a SHOWER, go figure.

 

[D_cbq02hbc]

My husband asked me the same question when we started dating. I was honest with him about it, telling him no. He was a bit taken back by it, but I said it because I wanted our relationship built on truth. I don't regret telling him that day because he learned that he could trust me. I don't fake orgasms, either, so there are no guessing games with me between the sheets. We're still together almost 15 years later so he's doing something right. Women seem to return to your bed repeatedly (2 long-term relationships) so you must be doing something right as well.

It sounds like this revelation from your last relationship has taken a huge toll on your self-worth and confidence. I know it's easier said than done, but you honestly just have to put your ego aside in the bedroom. You want a woman that is honest in the bedroom and doesn't feel pressured to lie to you about size, performance, etc. If this is really eroding your ego, go get some counseling. If this is about you being a great lover, put your ego aside and pay attention to her needs. It will yield dividends 100 fold.

i 100% agree with you in building on trust and truth!!
Its been good getting all the feedback from people. many
of different perspectives that i couldnt see all on my own.

ps, congrats on 15 years coming up :smile:

 

[arkfarmbear]

I don't understand why guys don't respond with an insulting comment.
I would respond by saying that I had previously been with women with nice tight pussies instead of the big old worn out gash on her. I would even ask her if she has ever considered a pussy tuck.
I know it is mean but when a woman tells a guy she's had larger she has to know it will be hurtful even if his is 12" x 12"!
When a guy looks at another woman's tits the woman with him typically goes nuts!
Fight fire with fire!

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

i 100% agree with you in building on trust and truth!!
Its been good getting all the feedback from people. many
of different perspectives that i couldnt see all on my own.

ps, congrats on 15 years coming up :smile:

Thank you! It sounds like things are going well for you and your gf as well, as you've been together over a year. I'm glad you got some good feedback...opinions are never lacking around here. :smile:

 

[Proud7]

My general rule of thumb is, if a woman doesn't outright declare in the heat of the moment that you're her biggest, chances are you likely aren't. Now of course that's not a steadfast fact, but just my take on it. It's strictly a case by case thing. For the most part, I heard more comment on my size being 'big' when I was younger, perhaps when my female partner had less of a sample size from which to draw from. Now in my 30's and slept with women in the same age bracket, chances are those women have 'made the rounds' a bit more and thusly a 7 inch cock may not impress them at that point like it did 10 years prior, especially if they've been with a larger guy. I'd say any woman that has had double digit partners has likely experienced at least one big guy, meaning 8 or more inches big.

At the end of the day, you have to not place your self worth on the size of your cock. There are men taller, better looking, better educated, wealthier and yes, more endowed than I am. The sooner one comes to grips with that reality, the easier it is to focus on pleasing your partner with what YOU have. I know for a fact that I'm not the biggest my fiance has seen, I don't know if she's HAD bigger, but I do know she's SEEN bigger, years ago and she claims to have outright rejected the guy out of fear. I don't particularly care to know if I'm the biggest, we're in love and the sex is wonderful because it goes beyond the physical, into the spiritual and emotional realms. Sex with the person you love is the greatest thing ever. Sorry to sound sappy lol...

 

[43698]

My wife felt my penis when she ran her hand up my shorts while rubbing my leg. She suddenly discovered the head of my penis. She then told me whe wanted to see it. I got undressed and she grinned ear to ear. After we had sex she told me that anal was gonna be out of the question I asked her why. She said," there is no way that is gonna work with what you are packing down there." She was all smiles. I remember when I first stuck it in she gaspes and smiled and said oh my god that just feels so good. After sex I left the room to go get a drink and I heard her on the phone with a friend and she was talking about my body and telling her friend, "he has a huge dick and can fuck really good for a long time." I am not her biggest, but considering she squirts everytime we have sex and she comes at least 4 times and we have a record of 21 I would have to say that is fine with me. I do not have a small penis and I have been told by girls without me soliciting it that I am the biggest and or the best. I am not worried about it. My wife and I love to fuck each other and it is great.

 

[hungthickone]

Cocks are like boats, there's always a bigger one, and it's usually owned by a guy you would rather not be.
My second wife was 34 when we married, her first.
I am sure, as hot as she is, and as much as she likes to fuck, she had a few bigger than me. I wondered about what experiences she had in the past for awhile, and if she wanted to tell me about them she could have, but I would never ask 'HOW BIG WAS bIGGEST?', because its rude. It also makes u seem insecure, and she would say you were her biggest anyway if she had any concern for your ego. Men are much more concerned about size than women.
Besides, I dont really care what kind of monster she may have ran across or the number of lovers(although being the best out of 100 would be better than the best out of 3,lol), I have her and what she does tell me is that I am the best lover she ever had, and thats enough for me. Just be the best lover you can and dont be concerned about her past.

 

[iian1972]

A lot of us men believe size is the most important thing when we jump into bed, i have been in three long relationship where I was the biggest they have ever had, but am I with them now no, and the reason is that we where not compatible with each other, nothing to to with what I had between my legs.

My now wife and the love of my life, and the person that I will spend the rest of my life with has been with 4 partners larger than I, and do I care no, she is with me because she loves me and I love her and thats got nothing to do with the bedroom or Mr happy.

Forget whats in your pants, the most important thing is the big bit at the start of you penis which is you, and thats what most women love, not the brain we think with, but the slightly larger one in our heads.

Its us guys that have a penis size problem, not the women that want to love us.

 

[tojelqornot]

I don't think there should be any stigma in asking. If your partner shrugged off the query with a off-the-cuff reply of, 'Nah, I was with some guy in L.A. who was hung like a soda bottle back in 2006' that would be better I think.

The alarm bells only ring when they act uncomfortable and shifty, as if they're embarrassed for you, or that you're pulling at a thread you shouldn't be.

I had the same thing happen to be, pretty much, OP. I even wrote a blog you might find interesting; (shouldyoujelq.blogspot.com) Start at the beginning or it won't make much sense.

 

[dylz]

she wasn't impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[SpeedoMike]

lawyers rule: never ask a question you don't have an answer for.

 

[D_cbq02hbc]

I don't think there should be any stigma in asking. If your partner shrugged off the query with a off-the-cuff reply of, 'Nah, I was with some guy in L.A. who was hung like a soda bottle back in 2006' that would be better I think.

The alarm bells only ring when they act uncomfortable and shifty, as if they're embarrassed for you, or that you're pulling at a thread you shouldn't be.

this is excellent and to take the stigma away from it women should definetly take note of it if they really are in love and want to remain truthful in the relationship. nice input and i could already imagine my reaction had it been presented in this manner

 

[D_cbq02hbc]

Cocks are like boats, there's always a bigger one, and it's usually owned by a guy you would rather not be.
My second wife was 34 when we married, her first.
I am sure, as hot as she is, and as much as she likes to fuck, she had a few bigger than me. I wondered about what experiences she had in the past for awhile, and if she wanted to tell me about them she could have, but I would never ask 'HOW BIG WAS bIGGEST?', because its rude. It also makes u seem insecure, and she would say you were her biggest anyway if she had any concern for your ego. Men are much more concerned about size than women.
Besides, I dont really care what kind of monster she may have ran across or the number of lovers(although being the best out of 100 would be better than the best out of 3,lol), I have her and what she does tell me is that I am the best lover she ever had, and thats enough for me. Just be the best lover you can and dont be concerned about her past.

all the cock analogies on this board are funny :biggrin1:. thanks for the input, just more perspective that im trying to take in