FIRST POST =P
So i was in a relationship that ended about a year ago. But in that relationship is when the situation happened. I was getting head for my GF of the time maybe towards the mid point of the relationship and my stupid ass asked if I was the biggest she had ever been with. WELL ill just say that im about 7x5 on a normal day no cheating. Giving the best details possible i was standing on the bed and she was standing on the ground (now i just feel silly). her eyes went off into oblivion as if she had gotten a flashback to the monster she'd been with. She quickly turned her eyes back and said yes! After the way she looked away and back i just couldnt buy that reason. The truth was I wasnt the biggest she'd been with. It later came up in convo that i probably started, and she was like okay so I was just in this awkward position of pleasuring you and I didnt know what to say etc etc.. fine fine, that all makes sense I get that. I wasnt even mad that she initially lied. As a usually logical person I can understand why she said what she did and felt how she felt. The only thing is is, now i feel emotionally fucked, and insecure. I mean honestly, i wish i could dig the exact moment when she looked away into your mind to truly show you the position i was in.
In that later convo that we had she said how it was a one nighter, and how it was mostly uncomfortable etc, etc but i think she was just trying to make me feel better by downplaying the event.
Everyone who id been with before her always voluntarily said i was the biggest theyd been with and so maybe I had just gotten used to hearing it. And ill be the first to say that im one of the MOST HUMBLE ppl you will meet, except for in this department. I mean im not even in a relationship with this woman anymore and I to this day atleast 2 years maybe 3 after the conversations STILL let this run thru my head alot. Im just like could it have been that big? I knew her personality and she was very sexually expressive so im just like, was she suuuper impressed etc etc. this is what goes thru my mind.
Now im in this new relationship of about a year now and she happens to be one of the most honest ppl ive ever met. She told me im the biggest BUT that is no longer enough for my mind. Its like, i almost dont believe her. Shes always like i dont care what size you are etc, but in my delusional mind i say well how do you know you dont care unless youve had someone bigger. Now all these shows like hung ie and hard times, just feels weird for me to watch in the presence of my GF cuz to me its like, honestly Im probably not considered "hung" but it seems like the thing to be these days. I dont know
Seriously, has anyone experienced these feelings, or insecurities and how/what did and do you do to live your day to day life (sexually speaking).
