I think Hollywood and fiction is to blame when it comes to the "bad boy" attraction. It's a trope that consistently irritates me. A movie about a nice guy who falls in love with a nice girl where they're nice to each other and happy is boring. No one would watch it. It is far more interesting when the guy who is apparently nice turns out to be flawed and the guy whom everyone has pegged as worthless changes because of a very special woman and ends up not only deserving her love but having many other redeeming qualities. That's a more interesting (if overtold) story. The problem is that in reality I suspect that most assholes who fall in love remain assholes, but Hollywood has filled people's heads with this romantic story that we all know too well. Who wouldn't want to be the woman special enough to do that?
That and a guy wearing a leather jacket often looks sexier than the one wearing the cardigan. Most of the "bad boy" appeal is simply style and straight up attractiveness. The "bad boy" is given the better wardrobe, better hair, is more handsome, and is simply "cooler" in all other aspects other than the behavior that actually defines him as "bad" - drug use, foul language, untrustworthiness, criminal activities, treating women badly, bad tempered, bad grades, etc. If they made the bad boy look like the nice guy, and vice versa, I suspect that there would be a resurgence in interest in "nice" boys - and there wouldn't be any interest at all in the bad boy character if he was fat and covered in acne and awkward and unfunny and dumb.
In reality, a really hot guy who is also nice is well loved by women. TheBF is without a doubt the quintessential "nice guy." I not only had a lot of competition for TheBF's love and attention, I actually lost friends when he chose me because they were jealous. So don't bother giving me any cock and bull about how nice guys aren't appreciated - they are when they're handsome, outgoing, confident, charming, with a great body and a good job.
Regarding men and whether there is a decline in expectations... TheBF tells me that when he takes the baby out in public, he's heaped with positive attention, which he believes is because men aren't actually expected to do that. He believes that the bar for fathers has been set so low that just being seen out in public with his son garners him praise that he really doesn't think he deserves. He tells me that every time people remark about how he's a "good dad." He is a good dad, but they can't actually know that from just seeing him holding a baby. That bar definitely needs to be set higher.
That and a guy wearing a leather jacket often looks sexier than the one wearing the cardigan. Most of the "bad boy" appeal is simply style and straight up attractiveness. The "bad boy" is given the better wardrobe, better hair, is more handsome, and is simply "cooler" in all other aspects other than the behavior that actually defines him as "bad" - drug use, foul language, untrustworthiness, criminal activities, treating women badly, bad tempered, bad grades, etc. If they made the bad boy look like the nice guy, and vice versa, I suspect that there would be a resurgence in interest in "nice" boys - and there wouldn't be any interest at all in the bad boy character if he was fat and covered in acne and awkward and unfunny and dumb.
In reality, a really hot guy who is also nice is well loved by women. TheBF is without a doubt the quintessential "nice guy." I not only had a lot of competition for TheBF's love and attention, I actually lost friends when he chose me because they were jealous. So don't bother giving me any cock and bull about how nice guys aren't appreciated - they are when they're handsome, outgoing, confident, charming, with a great body and a good job.
Regarding men and whether there is a decline in expectations... TheBF tells me that when he takes the baby out in public, he's heaped with positive attention, which he believes is because men aren't actually expected to do that. He believes that the bar for fathers has been set so low that just being seen out in public with his son garners him praise that he really doesn't think he deserves. He tells me that every time people remark about how he's a "good dad." He is a good dad, but they can't actually know that from just seeing him holding a baby. That bar definitely needs to be set higher.
Last edited: