Thank you, everybody. I am overwhelmed! I truly am! It means more than you can know, to have comapassion shown to me in such ways. I honestly didn;t expect any real response, just needed a place to vent. You see, I have realized that I had to put people out of my life that only wanted to take, never give. Unfortunately, except for some online friends like you, that has meant pretty much everybody in my area. With the exception of work friends, and a couple of casual work-related friends, everybody else is gone. So, I really had no other venue to vent, and as I said, so many others are hurting so much worse than I am, I feel a bit guilty for dumping. And instead of getting berated for it, I get increadible compassion, honest, good advice, and support. This is one main reason I so love this site--I wish everyone, of any age, could experience what it truly is, and represents. This site is so much more than about a penis---maybe the P should stand for passion, because all that is put forth about any subject is done with passion, and intellegence, and beauty. Even the ugliness that sometimes happens, is still treated with passion, and intellegence, and beauty. THis time, it has just been harder to snap out of it, and it may take some time, but I hope for that moment when something positive will happen, to give me hope and a reason to feel more positive again. IN the meantime, it helps so much to know that there are people here, that while far away and "virtual" in the physical sense, are willing and able to show such caring and compassion to a fellow human being. Thank you all, so much! I guess it is hard for me sometimes to take the advice of a good friend, who I haven't seen in many years now (someone I helped), who, upon hearing some of the stories of what I had done (mostly from others), told me in a somewhat surprised tone, "You can;t save everybody--you're not Jesus". I guess it's true--I am human, and have limits, and needs, too. I guess part of the key is learning to be happy with, and love yourself, without other people around you. Maybe this is the best opportunity for this now, since I am now alone in my personal life. Maybe when I can value myself, others can learn to value me as well. Maybe not, but I guess if I can live with myself, then that's the only one I HAVE to live with. THank you all, for being a friend. It means more than you will ever know!!