She speaks the truth. Never have I ever felt anything like I thought I would feel at 41. I'm not the same person but I don't feel anything like an adult. I make irresponsible choices (though not as many), I worry about what people think of me (though not as much), I am not nearly as organized as I thought I would be, nor am I living in a big house with a great job, beautiful wife, and happy tow-headed children playing on the lawn. Thank God! I think about my youth and teen years all the time. My 20s sucked royally due to all my psych problems and I don't remember much of them. Whole years passed by that I recall very little of.
The big trick is to let go of your expectations of what you think you should be. Do that and the world just opens up. Constantly affirm yourself even if you don't believe it, and rest assured that even the most together person you know has issues they've just learned to hide really well. I swear to you this true. It takes most adults years and years to discover it but it is completely true. Nobody is as together as they appear. We're all swimming around wondering where we're going and what tomorrow will bring. We all question what we do, what we believe, and what we know. I'm sure even the Pope wonders if God exists from time to time.
The one guiding light you have is yourself. Give yourself a break. I'm very serious about it. Be very wary of basing your expectations of yourself on what you
think other people are expecting of themselves.
I'm not so gay as to be big into show tunes, but as Eva Peron says in Evita:
[SIZE=-1]"It's hard to keep momentum
when it's you that you are following."
In other words, focus on what you want and do that. The transition from childhood to adulthood is major because you're going from living under the expectations of parents, teachers, and other adults, to following your own expectations. Short of the law, you answer to nobody but yourself. If you don't, you'll be terribly unhappy in life. The more you learn to please yourself and take confidence in what you do for yourself, the happier and more confident you'll be. Read some of the posts in these threads to see what adults really go through:
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What would you forfeit for doing what you like?
and
Personal Growth
Happy birthday - but you never feel grown up inside, we all do all the grown up things but inside we all still feel like we're bits of kids faking our way in the world
As long as you do all the grown up things don't beat yourself up, but you are going to have to force yourself to go out in the world and make friends, friends keep you grounded and you have less time to focus on your self perceived inadequacies.
